
Glass 

Book___ 
GsyrightW 



COFXRIG.HT DEPOSEC 



Neither Dead Nor 
Sleeping 

9, 
MAY WRIGHT SEWALL 



With an Introduction by 
BOOTH TARKINGTON 



CO 



INDIANAPOLIS 

THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 



Copyright 1920 
The Bobbs- Merrill Company 



3* 



o 



Printed in the United States of America 



MAY -6 1320 



press or 

BRAUNWORTH & CO. 

BOOK MANUFACTURERS 

BROOKLYN, N. Y. 



©CU566904 



DEDICATION 

To all honest souls who have hitherto believed 
the grave to be a chasm and who would be com- 
forted to know that it is a gate that swings both 
ways and can be unlocked by humans on both sides 
of it — to such I speak. May many such find in this 
record, made in a purely scientific manner, illumina- 
tion for the intellect, solace for the heart, and stim- 
ulus to aspiration of spirit. 

Mind, heart and spirit — the power to know, the 
capacity to love, the tendency to aspire — such is the 
trinity that constitutes the being that is incarnated 
in man's mortal body. These three elements being 
separable only from the body, their mortal vestment, 
are never separable from one another. 

Hence : To hearts that swell with rapture in the 
present enjoyment of the Beloved or aohe with long- 
ing for the Absent, to minds that love knowledge 
and seek its increase, to spirits that aspire to know 
their origin and their destiny, this book is inscribed 
by its author. 



INTRODUCTION 



BEFORE venturing to offer a slight comment 
upon Mrs. Sewall's strange manuscript, the 
writer feels that to make clear his own neutral views 
upon the subject of "psychic phenomena" might be 
well in point. Therefore, they may be assembled, 
from a previous expression of them, to stand as fol- 
lows: 

We are dwelling in the night. To the man of 
ten thousand years hence, who will not be able to 
distinguish through his archeological researches 
which of the forgotfen tribes fought the Great War 
that left the long line of bones in the subsoil from 
the Channel to the Alps — to that enlightened modern 
we shall seem to have been formless gropers in the 
dusk of ignorance. 

We do not really believe it, but that man of ten 
thousand years hence is actually going to live and 
speculate about us and study the dust heaps which 
we shall leave. He will see that we were dwellers 
in the night — in the unknown. 

All this horror of death is horror of the unknown. 
Men face it magnificently. What would this mean : 
that they should face it knowing definitely what they 
face? 

, , , Consider the Smith family of Topeka, 



INTRODUCTION 

Kansas. The Topeka Smiths were twentieth-cen- 
tury people; they believed in education, prosperity 
and clean politics ; and they knew a great deal about 
chemistry, mechanics, modern jurisprudence and 
music. 

There was only one point upon which they were 
curiously provincial, and that was geography. Mr. 
Smith, the father, had an inexplicable eccentricity: 
he was dismally superstitious about geography ; and, 
marrying early, he was able to communicate this 
peculiarity to his wife so that she came to share it. 
Neither of them had ever been outside of Kansas, 
and neither wished ever to leave Kansas. If among 
their acquaintances there chanced to be one who, in 
their presence, referred to his travels, they looked 
vaguely distressed, and as soon as possible changed 
the subject. 

They brought up their children without any 
knowledge of geography, and taught them to avoid 
the mention of travel, as if such a topic were nei- 
ther wholesome nor polite ; so that the children, too, 
got the habit of looking troubled and changing the 
subject whenever a neighbor spoke of going away 
from Topeka. And when any friend of the family 
did go upon a journey, or perchance accepted a busi- 
ness position in another town, the Smiths would 
cease to speak of him, except when it was absolutely 
necessary, and they would walk in silence if they 
passed the house he had rented while he lived in 
Topeka. They made no inquiries about him, and in 



INTRODUCTION 

every possible way they tried to keep him out of 
their thoughts. They were through with him if he 
left Topeka. 

The insanest thing about all this was that the 
Smiths knew that they themselves were going to 
leave Topeka some day. Mr. Smith was the agent 
for a harvesting machine; he had to go where the 
company ordered him, and the company's policy was 
to move its agents about at indefinite intervals. Mrs. 
Smith and the children would, of course, have to go 
wherever Mr. Smith did; yet they never allowed 
themselves to think of anything outside of Topeka, 
and they considered people queer and unreliable who 
spoke unnecessarily of geography. 

The harvester company sent Mr. Smith abroad. 
The order came one day without any previous noti- 
fication, and it was so imperative that he had no 
time to pack a trunk. In fact, he was at his office 
when he received the message, and he was obliged 
to leave without even going home to tell his family 
good-by. 

Of course, finding him gone, they knew he had 
obeyed the company's order, and they understood 
that they must follow him ; yet they made no effort 
to discover to what city abroad he had been ordered. 
They did not even make inquiries to see if there 
came a letter from him. He was no longer in To- 
peka; and that was enough for them. Everything 
beyond Topeka was the Great Unknown, and they 
shivered and sorrowed at the thought of it, 



INTRODUCTION 

Nevertheless, the whole family had to leave To- 
peka. The mother went, a year after the father; 
but the children did not try to learn where she had 
gone or if she had joined Mr. Smith. Then, one 
by one, the sons and daughters went ; but those who 
remained in Topeka never tried to discover whither 
the others had betaken themselves or what were 
their experiences of travel, or the conditions in the 
foreign place to which they had gone. The Smith 
children still in Topeka knew all the time that they, 
too, would soon be going abroad, but they shiver- 
ingly declined to consider learning foreign lan- 
guages, or even to look at time-tables and ask if 
anybody knew what to do for seasickness. 

Having the journey to make, they revolted at the 
mere idea of learning anything about what was at 
the other end of it, because in their hearts they be- 
lieved that there wouldn't be anything at all at the 
other end of it. Sometimes one of them would mur- 
mur, "But if there should be — " And then he would 
shudder slightly, and close his mind to the idea, and 
return to his thought about Topeka. 

To this day there are still some Smiths left in 
Topeka. They know they will not be there long, 
but they are making no preparations for travel, and 
they think that people who would like to know some- 
thing about geography are rather crazy. 

That is the "attitude of civilization" toward death 
and what may lie beyond death. Man, after a mil- 
lion years of the struggle to think, is still refusing 



INTRODUCTION 

to recognize as a fit subject for study that subject 
which most concerns him. Here he remains bar- 
baric; he looks upon death as an ultimate horror 
which is "unwholesome to dwell upon." Man is still 
tribal in his attitude toward war because he is still 
tribal in his attitude toward death. 

.... Savages are somewhat more prejudiced 
in the matter. They will not mention the dead, fear- 
ing to be haunted, and consequently, though they 
sometimes have legends, the historian can trace frag- 
ments of their history only by digging up their bury- 
ing-grounds — an irony sufficiently grotesque. 

Man regards death as so horrible that when he 
reaches the utmost pitch of his rage he inflicts death 
upon his enemies. When he feels that life is un- 
endurable he says the worst thing about it that he 
can think of ; he says he prefers death. It is true that 
individuals, here and there, unbearably anguished 
by their lives, do long for death; and they think of 
death as peace, just as in the torrid days of sum- 
mer we think of January as pleasant ; and, seeking 
peace, they seek it blindly through suicide. But they 
do not know what they will find. In their utter ig- 
norance they guess; and usually their guess is that 
they will find nothing. Nevertheless, they may be 
like one of the Smiths of Topeka who decided finally 
that city life was not to be borne, and got on a train 
which landed him in Chicago. 

We do not know that death is nothing. If death 
is nothing, then we still know nothing about noth- 



INTRODUCTION 

ing. We know no more about death than prehis- 
toric man knew. We know more than he did about 
how to postpone it under certain conditions, and 
about how to alleviate the physical pain of it; and, 
using words interchangeably, we can make more 
definitions of it than he could; but our ignorance 
of death itself is precisely equal to his. This may 
be because we have preferred to cling through the 
ages to the superstition that we could know nothing 
about it. 

There are minds which wrap themselves with sat- 
isfaction about a confusion of words, just as tan- 
gled thread loves to knot itself always the more in- 
extricably. "Death is negation," they urge. "Death 
is merely not life. How can you state positives of 
a negative? You can know only nothing about 
nothing, so how can you know something about 
nothing?" But if they knew that death is nothing, 
and if they knew that death is not life, they would 
know more than Moses or Newton or Voltaire 
knew, and surely that would be knowing something. 
Enamored of their wanderings with words, they do 
not even rise to the scientific height of a guess. 

In man there is a profound, physical distaste for 
death which extends itself to become a distaste for 
the investigation of death; he lets his mystics and 
priests chant of it vaguely on ceremonial days, but 
he really does not wish to think about it at all. 
Therefore, he is naturally inclined to throw dis- 
credit upon investigations and investigators; in a 



INTRODUCTION 

sense it is his instinct to do so. Moreover, certain 
thinkers (in their own distaste of the subject) have 
claimed that this very distaste is the only basis of 
man's hope of personal survival after death. They 
wish to dispose of the matter thus briefly, defining 
the theory of "immortality of the soul" as merely 
a by-product of man's instinct of self-preservation. 
And there are others who say that man got the no- 
tion that he had a soul through his savage ancestor's 
dreams; the savage woke from slumber and said: 
"I have been in strange places, obviously far away 
from my sleeping body. Therefore there must be 
two of me — the me of my body, and the me that 
leaves my body and goes away. Hence, when my 
body dies, the me that dreamed may still be alive." 
The civilized man's dream of survival is only a sav- 
age's dream, after all, these rationalists say. 

Thus they claim to have demolished the theory of 
survival. But plainly, they may be (for all they 
know) exactly like the rational argufiers who may 
have said, in the year 1491 Anno Domini: "The 
earth is flat. Columbus believes it is round because 
his grandfather had a passion for round fruit, such 
as oranges and apples ; the love of rotundity is inher- 
ent in his blood." To imagine the origin of a desire 
or a conception is not to prove that the thing de- 
sired or conceived has no existence, as any hungry 
child will demonstrate to a doubter's satisfaction. 
But the strangest theorist is he who takes the ground 
that man is actually indifferent to death (because, 



INTRODUCTION 

as death approaches, some men and most dogs ap- 
pear to be indifferent to life) and that therefore, 
since death amounts to so little, it really amounts 
to nothing and coincides with nothingness. 

There are a hundred other kinds of argufying, 
and most of the argufiers are Smiths of Topeka; 
they are superstitious about geography. Many of 
them are cock-sure, and there is no other supersti- 
tion so superstitious as cock-sureness. And, as the 
fundamental thing underneath the Smiths' supersti- 
tion was their fear of a possible life (supposedly 
strange and uncomfortable) outside the walls of 
Topeka, so the fundamental thing underneath the 
superstition of many "skeptic" theorists is the dread 
of death as a queer and repellent life. Often they 
speak with a fierceness that betrays them: "Idiot!" 
they shout. "Don't you know it's been proved that 
you can't know anything, because there is nothing 
to know?" They love to make free with the word 
"proved." 

And with these argufiers march the literal-minded 
spiritualists, the great credulous crowd, profoundly 
gulled by their own imaginations. These are the 
people who dismiss investigation summarily when 
it reports not in accord with their preconceived 
fancies of what "spirits" would do and say. They 
say they "don't believe in spirits," but obviously 
they do — even to the extent of having determined 
that spirits can never (for instance) be trivial or 
humorous; and with primitive naivete they have so 



INTRODUCTION 

credulously pictured a heaven, or hell, of their own, 
that evidence of anything different seems to them 
nonsense. "Why don't the spirits ever tell us some- 
thing worth while?" they say. "Why aren't the 
spirits more dignified? If they communicated with 
living people, do you suppose they'd be talking 
about tintypes?" The spirits they believe in, you 
see, are already constructed out of fancies, imag- 
inary spirits finished in contour, gesture and tem- 
perament — and anything purporting to be a spirit, 
but not fulfilling the ready-made portrait, is dis- 
missed as either fraud or delusion. 

Thus the credulous immigrant might decline to 
take note of Ellis Island because no one met him 
with platters of money. "This is not America," 
he might say. "America is paved with gold !" 

And there are the other credulous; those who 
have a strange notion that Nature necessarily works 
with a kind of snobbishness or aristocracy of ges- 
ture. They look for the dramatic and graceful in 
her, expecting her to show forth something Grecian 
in great matters; they respect a thirty-knot battle- 
ship and forget Watts and his teakettle ; they would 
like to see Ajax defying the lightning, but can not 
believe that Ajax might better have understood 
what he was about if he had begun by rubbing a 
cat's back in the dark of a woodshed. "What!" 
they cry. "Look for the high dead among 'me- 
diums/ 'psychics,' slate-writers, rappers and trance 
babblers ? Do you expect Moses to be rapping Tm 



INTRODUCTION 

all right* on a four-dollar table in a back parlor 
smelling of fried potatoes?" The seeker answers, 
"I do not expect Moses. I do not expect at all." 

An inventor explained why the Wrights made an 
airplane that would fly. "They weren't graduates," 
he said. "They hadn't been conventionally educated 
in mechanics. They hadn't learned that certain 
things couldn't be done — so they did them !" This 
explains, incidentally, why genius usually comes 
from the country, and, pertinently, why it is scien- / 
tific to keep an open mind. 

Probably there is no mind which closes itself with 
gentler self-satisfaction than that which says, "We 
weren't meant to know." For thus we manufacture 
our own religion (frequently upon the spot and to 
suit the emergency of the minute) setting up a god 
in our own image and investing it with a wisdom 
wholly the fabric of our own inclinations and pre- 
ferred ignorances. "We aren't meant to know." 
. . . "We can't know." . . . "There isn't any- 
thing to know." . . . Those who prefer darkness 
may take their choice of the three "verdicts" still 
common in the twentieth century. 

But many people who say "We aren't meant to 
know" will deny their love of darkness. "We live 
by faith," they add. "We believe in the many man- 
sions in His Father's house, and in Tf it were not so 
I would have told you.' " Yet they hold that there 
is a kind of impiety in seeking to follow this great 
hint of Christ's to further understanding of what 



INTRODUCTION 

He meant. He did not forbid : it is they who forbid. 
They say, "We are judged by the extent of our 
faith," which may easily mean that the harder a 
thing is to believe, the more credit to him who be- 
lieves it. 

That is, the prophets did not do everything they 
possibly could to make their followers understand 
their meaning in so far as the followers' minds were 
capable, but, on the contrary, the prophets were de- 
liberately puzzling in order to test the faith of the 
followers and make salvation difficult. Strange, 
for there are the parables, to show what pains were 
taken to stir the least imaginative toward compre- 
hension. Mystics always hope that science will some 
day overtake them. 

The rich woman said : "But it wouldn't be right 
for the world to have no poor. Charity is the great- 
est of all virtues and there could be no charity if 
there were no poor." Her thought was not far 
from that which maintains : "We were not meant to 
know, because knowing would leave no room for 
faith; hence efforts to know are irreligious." To 
live by faith is indeed not to walk in darkness ; but 
it is to walk in only the dream of light. 

But there are dreamers enough who think they 
have found true and actual light in their quest 
among the mountebanks and "mediums." Sleight- 
of-hand, cunning guesswork and exhibitions of per- 
fectly honest forms of catalepsy bring their rewards 
to both the performer and the bereft searchers for 



INTRODUCTION 

consolation. It is not strange that eyes swimming 
in tears fill themselves with watery visions. That 
is what they want to do, poor things ; and the frauds 
have only the task of suggesting how the stricken 
souls may deceive themselves. The seeker for the 
truth about survival (whether the truth be consola- 
tion or not) must know that his way lies through a 
maze, which one enters trying to find a path that 
will take him out on the opposite side. There are a 
thousand fraudulent bypaths and he must learn to 
recognize at their entrances the little marks which 
show that the way out does not lie there — and yet 
the true path may be disguised by these same little 
marks. The seeker's heart must be steady and his 
head cool ; he will see queer things at which he must 
remember to laugh, and his elbow will be plucked 
by hands reaching from many a curious cul-de-sac. 
If he becomes bewildered he will see things that do 
not exist, and he may begin to babble nonsense. And 
though he might never find the true path, he must 
not deny (if he would claim to have remained rea- 
sonable) that a true path may exist. For, in a maze, 
if there are one million paths, and a man, in his 
lifetime, explore nine-hundred-thousand of them, all 
leading nowhere, he is entitled to state no more than 
his experience. That experience may incline him to 
the opinion that no true path exists, but all opinions 
have still the right to differ, so long as they are but 
opinions. And if among the millions of "spirit-mes- 
sages" received through "mediums" or "psychics," 



INTRODUCTION 

or what-not, by means of "raps," "slate- writing," 
"automatic writing," "ouija-boards," "clairvoyance," 
"clairaudience" or any other generally uncredited 
and widely discredited manifestation — if in all this 
vast mass of alleged evidence purporting through 
the ages to reveal the thoughts of "disembodied 
spirits" — if in all this there be one veritable message 
from a person whose body is dead, then the case for 
survival is made; this dead person is alive (or was 
alive after his death) and the possibility of the sur- 
vival of others is demonstrated. And who could 
prove that there has never been one such message? 
Only a person who had investigated and exposed all 
messages; and he could not prove that a veritable 
message might not come in the future. 

. . . The known is never horrible except as 
death or pain may come of it, and we begin to see 
that pain is only a prompting to us to educate our- 
selves in the law. "Fear is hell" — and we begin to 
guess that fear is only ignorance. All this horror 
of an inevitable condition — this fear of death, a 
fear which is an anguish even to little children — is 
wrong. The child fears the dark, yet there is noth- 
ing in the dark that is not in the light — except the 
light itself — and so there may be nothing in death 
that is not in life, if we had the light to see. If 
death is life, with "progress and problems" like those 
in what we call life, then we should not fear it. Or, 
if it were peace, we should not fear it. We fear it 
because we imagine it is darkness — yet that is one 



INTRODUCTION 

thing which it can not be. Nothing is not darkness. 
For that matter, of course, death can not be noth- 
ing, in the literal sense. When we say "Death is 
annihilation" we mean only that "personal conscious- 
ness" does not survive the change called death. 

Pain is a hint for better education, and dread of 
death is a form of pain ; it is a revulsion caused by 
the unfamiliar or the unknown. It is Nature kick- 
ing us for not knowing. In other words, horror of 
death, being in part our revolt against not knowing 
what death is — our fear of thinking about it — is 
what ought to make us think about it. So a child, 
locked in a dark room, will sometimes stretch forth 
his hand to explore, because his fear of what his 
hand may touch is so great that he must explore! 
Fear should be the ancestor of curiosity, and out of 
the hell of fear may come the good thing, the wish- 
to-know. That is the most benevolent of all the de- 
sires ; in obedience to it the boy takes a watch apart, 
to see what a watch is made of; and a novelist takes 
life apart to see what life is made of — for artists 
are only scientists working in intuition instead of in 
a laboratory. But boys and artists may only suggest 
things ; they do not prove them. 

Now, certain men have said that they have evi- 
dence of survival, and some of these men are scien- 
tists — even scientists by profession. If they have the 
evidence which they say they have, then it is going 
to be possible to establish, before very long, the most 
important fact that can affect mankind. There is 



INTRODUCTION 

ho doubt that these men believe the evidence; and 
their critics, unable to assail their sincerity, attack 
them upon the point of gullibility. 

But this leads a person of open mind to suspect 
the critics of a gullibility of their own; that is, they 
may be gulled by their prejudices. They are indeed 
thus gulled if they declare Sir Oliver Lodge to be 
gullible because Sir Oliver claims to receive mes- 
sages from a dead person. To show Sir Oliver gul- 
lible, the critics must prove the messages to be fraud 
or delusion. They prove only their own superstition 
who say, by implication : "But spirits do not do thus 
and so; and they do not speak thus and so." No 
doubt serious investigators have been gulled; that 
means nothing of importance; secret service men 
have had lead quarters passed "on" them. The ques- 
tion is, whether or not the investigators have ever 
found true metal — if it were even a centime! Most 
of them believe they have ; and therein is a circum- 
stance of such significance as may give us strangely 
to think, if we will take leisure to note it : of all the 
men professionally of science who have seriously 
and persistently investigated and studied the alleged 
phenomena of "spiritualism," the overwhelming ma- 
jority have drawn the conclusion, as a result of their 
patient researches, that there is personal survival of 
death. 

Only levity sneers at them now — at these patient 
men who have sought truth in the dust-heap. They 
have not yet failed; neither have they shown the 



INTRODUCTION 

truth — if they have found it— so that all men may 
see it and know that it is indeed truth. Their task 
is heavy, but it is the greatest one, for it is the task 
that must be done before civilization can begin. To 
lift the burden of the unknown from the human 
soul — -to destroy the great darkness; that is the 
work which engages them. Men can not be sane in 
the daylight until the night becomes knowable. 

:> 

I have spoken of Mrs. Sewall's manuscript as a 
"strange" one; and the adjective may be properly 
exploited if we pause to consider, as we say, "who 
Mrs. Sewall is." 

She graduated from The Northwestern Uni- 
versity in 1872. As a young woman she was Su- 
perintendent of Public Schools at Plainwell, Mich. ; 
then Principal of a High School at Franklin, Ind. ; 
then a teacher of German (and, later, of English) 
in the Indianapolis High School. In 1882 she and 
her husband founded the Classical School for Girls, 
at Indianapolis, and this school became a flourish- 
ing institution, widely known throughout the coun- 
try. Mrs. Sewall was its Principal for twenty-five 
years; and during the time of her residence in In- 
dianapolis the city was in her debt for a great many 
things, as any old citizen will tell you. Indeed, I 
think that in company with General Harrison and 
Mr. Riley, she would necessarily have been chosen 



INTRODUCTION 

(in the event of a contest in such a matter) as one 
of the "three most prominent citizens" of the place. 
She founded, or aided to found, the Woman's 
Club of Indianapolis; and the Contemporary Club 
of Indianapolis; was President of both; she was an 
organizer of the General Federation of Women's 
Clubs; of the Art Association of Indianapolis; of 
the Propylaeum Association; of the Local Council 
of Women, and of the local branch of the Alliance 
Francaise. From 1881 to 1888 she was chairman 
of the Executive Committee of the National 
Woman's Suffrage Association; she organized the 
National Council of Women of the United States, 
and the International Council of Women. She was 
President of the World's Congress of Representa- 
tive Women, in the "World's Fair Year" ; and was 
appointed by President McKinley, in 1899, to rep- 
resent the women of the United States at the series 
of congresses for L } Exposition Universelle at Paris 
in 1900. She is now Honorary President of the 
International Council of Women, and of the Na- 
tional Council of Women of the United States; 
Honorary Vice-President of the International New 
Thought Alliance; Director of the National League 
for the Conservation of Childhood; American Com- 
missioner in the International Women's League for 
Permanent Peace; she is a member of Sorosis; of 
the Professional Women's Club of Boston; of the 
National Civic Reform Association; of The Lyceum 
Club of London; of La Societe Psychologique and 



INTRODUCTION 

of U Union Internationale des Sciences et des Arts 
of Paris. My mind refuses to follow her further 
into clubs, associations, leagues, alliances, offices and 
commissions — one can give only a bird's-eye or 
Who's Who view of the accumulated mass of them. 
But the synopsis is sufficient to sketch the outward 
Mrs. Sewall; it gives at least a line-drawing of her 
as we knew her in Indianapolis — a glittering figure 
dealing with other luminaries in the world beyond 
Indiana, and every now and then bringing one or two 
of these great people to her salon on Pennsylvania 
Street, where she generously asked large numbers of 
us to take tea with them. We found her always equal 
to any strain put upon her by her celebrities or by 
ourselves. She talked "quite wonderfully" (as the 
phrase goes) and always readily — nearly always 
smilingly, too; and with an urbane cadence which 
could, when necessary, produce, without ceasing to 
be urbane, the effect of spirited vehemence. 

She was a very leading citizen, indeed, in those 
days of her greatest activity in Indianapolis; and 
the deference shown her was almost undemocratic. 
Many took her for their ruler and oracle, whether 
or no she wished them for subjects; and she was 
undeniably the head of the academy; though I think 
her own tendency was always more liberal than 
academic. In fact, as one sees now, she was more 
than liberal — she was out on the unknown sea, all 
by herself. 

, , . I had not seen Mrs. Sewall for many years 



INTRODUCTION 

when, in 1918, she wrote, asking me to come to a 
corner of Maine, where she was, to talk over a, 
manuscript of hers. In her letter she gave no hint 
of its nature; and I had the impression of her just 
sketched; I supposed her book must be "something 
educational." Altogether, when I found what it 
was, I simultaneously discovered myself to be in a 
condition of astonishment which was not abated by 
a detailed study of the manuscript. 

The amazing thing was, first, that it was written 
by Mrs. Sewall. There is no lack of "messages 
from the dead" in typewriting and in print, nowa- 
days; we have book on book, perhaps too many; 
but it was to me dum founding to find that for more 
than twenty years this academic-liberal of a thou- 
sand human activities, Mrs. Sewall, had been really 
living not with the living, so to put it. And as I 
read, it seemed to me that I had never known so 
strange a story; and at times, dwelling upon her 
long struggle to cure her malady, and to make her- 
self a proper messenger for those known to us every- 
day people as dead, it seemed again that these al- 
most grotesquely painful sacrifices of the flesh were 
recorded, not of a modern lady of the world, but of 
some medieval penitent, feeding upon snow by day 
and lying prayerful upon a bed of cinders at night, 
seeking to become a spirit. 

Now, of one thing I think there can be no ques- 
tion: Mrs. Sewall did put away a malady pro- 
nounced fatal. Nor will any reader believe that she 



INTRODUCTION 

has intentionally deceived herself during the long 
experience with "supernatural beings" which she has 
outlined for us. It appears that we have a choice of 
three explanations, none of which really explains : 

1. Mrs. Sewall is laboring under a hallucination, 
or a series of hallucinations, continuing more than 
twenty years. 

2. The communications purporting to be from 
the dead are really the work of an inner self of 
hers, sometimes called a subconsciousness. This is, 
or is related to, the part ci our minds that constructs 
our dreams; and is capable of far more wonderful 
performances than most psychologists yet admit to 
be demonstrated. 

3. The communications are, as Mrs. Sewall be- 
lieves them to be, from people we speak of as dead; 
but really they live. 

The first "explanation" (though doubtless there 
are some who will prefer it) may be dismissed. The 
document before us is strange enough. To believe 
it the record of hallucination would be to make 
it too strange. I think the truth must rest between 
the second and third. Probably there were profes- 
sional "mediums," here and there, who imposed 
upon Mrs. Sewall. Once she had accepted the mir- 
acle as fact she may have been too ready to accept 
anything as another demonstration of the fact; and 
she has a habit of courtesy that might too much re- 
fuse to be destructive or skeptical. But the mention 
of professional "mediums" is only a trifle in the 



INTRODUCTION 

narrative; It is with Mrs. Sewall herself as a "me- 
dium" that we are concerned. And either her sub- 
consciousness, her dream-maker, has been up to a 
dum founding prodigy of dream-building, or else 
Mrs. Sewall has been in communication with living 
people whom we have thought of as dead. 

Readers of Harper's Monthly Magazine were sur- 
prised to come across Beresford's article on "A New 
Form of Matter" in that conservative fastness. It 
was a brief account of laboratory experiments with 
manifesting "mediums"; matter exuded from the 
"medium" ; so it was found. The point is that mat- 
ter, not spirit, caused raps, levitation and other phe- 
nomena of the kind. The experiments of Doctor 
Crawford in Ireland and other work with such 
manifestations elsewhere, corroborate the Beresford 
account. The announcement is confidently made 
that the accepted theories (believed to be fundamen- 
tal facts indeed) of physiology are about to be badly 
upset. On this point we may reserve judgment; but 
it is a coincidence worth noticing that the remarks 
of Theodore Lovett Sewall (as given by Mrs. Sewall 
in the appendix of this book) upon the nature and 
properties of matter and spirit appear to have an- 
ticipated the Beresford and the Crawford revela- 
tions and in some measure to have offered an ex- 
planation of them. There is a significance in such 
a coincidence, very suggestive: either we have a 
veritable Mr. Sewall telling us authoritatively about 
something upon which he is rightly informed; or 



INTRODUCTION 

else Mrs. Sewall's subconsciousness knew about 
these or similar laboratory experiments and made up 
a hypothesis for them and revealed it to her. 

. . . Whatever a reader may choose as a defini- 
tion for this most extraordinary book, there is one 
thing infallibly true of it. In a sense, a deceptive 
book can not be written : the character of the writer 
can not be concealed, must inevitably stand forth 
unsheltered. And the one thing most vivid here is 
good will — the longing, in all humility, to be of 
great help to the world. That explanation of Mrs. 
Sewall's book is undeniable. 

Booth Tarkington. 



PREFACE 

DURING my adult life, to August 1Q, 1897, 
my motto had been, "One World at a Time." 
From that date I have, with more or less persistency, 
knocked at doors whose existence was then dis- 
closed to me by gleams of light that seemed to pro- 
ceed from other planes. 

That the perceptions, instructions, knowledges, 
delusions, illusions (call them what you will) re- 
corded in this volume are the debris left on the 
shores of normal consciousness by an unexpected 
wave that has swept over them from the ocean of 
subconsciousness, will undoubtedly be urged as an 
explanation of the experiences here recorded. 

This explanation demands a definition. What is 
subconsciousness? No definition that I have heard 
has brought me nearer knowledge. Most definitions 
substitute for any word under consideration other 
words whose respective meanings are more obvious. 
In this instance the definitions either assume what 
remains to be proved or are themselves not easily 
definable. 

The certainty that capacities hitherto unused by 
me have been discovered to be my possession, and 
the equally sure conviction that I possess no capacity 
not possessed by all humans, lead me to feel the 
need of a new psychology that will extend man's 
knowledge of man. 



PREFACE 

In nature things are not real, any more than they 
are strong, any more than they are valuable in pro- 
portion to their size and their obtrusiveness. 

The most real, the most productive, the most 
powerful forces are often the finest, the most subtle, 
the most elusive. Such are ether and magnetism, 
of which much is said in the following pages. 

These I believe to be the subtle material forces, 
an understanding of which is indispensable to the 
next forward step of our race; these forces must be 
acknowledged, studied, caged, analyzed* ^mastered 
and directed that human progress may not be hin- 
dered by skepticism, by superstition or by inertness. 

My personal acquaintance with many recogniza- 
ble varieties of magnetism and with many mani- 
festations of ether and my conviction of their benefic 
potency compel me to submit to the public this 
merely indicative account of an early stage of my 
subtle experiences with these forms of finer matter. 
I do this at great sacrifice of that* feeling, whether 
one call it modesty or timidity, which still inclines 
me to reticence. However, even to date my ac- 
quaintance with these finer forms of matter con- 
tinues and I take the public into my confidence in 
the hope that among my readers there may be an oc- 
casional man or woman trained to scientific investi- 
gation who will find in this story some clues which, 
patiently followed, may lead to the sources of that 
knowledge which is power. As the growth of man's 
knowledge of the world has from time to time de- 



PREFACE 

manded a new geography, a new physics and a new 
chemistry, so the growth of man's knowledge of 
himself even now demands a new physiology and a 
new psychology. 

M. W. S. 



1 



CONTENTS 

PART ONE 

The Awakening 
chapter pace 

I Convinced of Continued Life through Letters 

Received from Recently Deceased Husband . 1 
The Sewall creed. Theodore Lovett Sewall dies. 
Why the creed was changed. Husband's efforts to 
make himself known finally successful. In the 
Spiritualists' Camp, Lily Dale, New York ; experi- 
ences; psychic forces at work; slate-writing, etc 
Unusual messages received. Sees, talks with and 
receives letters from husband, mother, father, 
niece, grandfather. Keeps careful and accurate 
record of each incident. Learns of first surprise 
of nominally dead — their skepticism; how finally 
overcome. Etheric agencies promise to establish 
a magnetic connection between planes. Deter- 
mines not to be "disobedient to heavenly vision, 
but to follow the gleam." 
II Matters Pertaining to Etheric Plane. Un- 
usual Experiences and Revelations through 

Famous Mediums 16 

Receives letters from husband through psychic 
strangers as well as friends. Through trumpet 
hears relatives' voices calling by names used only 
in close family circle. Note from Frances E. Wil- 
lard, deceased. In Buffalo receives communica- 
tions from husband and relatives in which they 
foretell approaching events. Tappings in ear. 
Curious experience in Chicago. Husband declares 
dead grow by helping those still on earth. Im- 
pression the most reliable form of communication 
between dead and living. London; meets William 



CONTENTS— Continued 

CHAPTER PAGK 

T. Stead. Stead serves as medium for letters from 
husband. Automatic writing in broad day. Ex- 
periences with foremost medium in Great Britain. 
Husband talks directly with wife through medium. 
Refers to luncheon in Rochester where he under- 
stood all that took place. What happens when we 
sleep. Meets Lamonti. Dead suffer from inability 
to reach living as living suffer from inability to 
reach dead. Urged by husband to say nothing of 
psychic experiences until she can maintain herself 
against criticism. 



Ill Interesting Communications from Friends 
Who, Prior to Death, Did Not Believe in 
Survival. Etheric Magnetism and Other 
Forces 63 

Independent slate-writing. Letters from dead 
friends who had not believed in survival. Re- 
joice to give assurance that life goes on. Heaven 
not a "location," but a "condition which comes to 
us." New psychic experience in Buffalo. Intro- 
duced by husband to Greek philosopher, Hermes, 
who declares nominally dead, under certain con- 
ditions, have power to return to earth life. Les- 
sons in concentration. Band of workers. London ; 
famous medium visited. Husband has now pro- 
gressed to point where he can understand without 
articulate speech. Etheric magnetism — a new force 
and its power, — vitalizes ; revives flowers. Knowl- 
edge of the reality of phenomena increases. Cau- 
tion needed because crowds of spirits are eager 
to send messages to earth through "any open 
door," hence a grave danger accompanies all 
psychic investigation. The telegraphic code of 
communication. Experience in Chicago; watches 
development of portrait done by new process by 
pupil of Raphael. Hangs portrait in home, where 
it is noticed and commented on by friends. 



CONTENTS— Continued 

CHAPTER PAGl 

IV At Spiritualists' Camp. Husband Etherealizes. 
Mother Tells of Her Home in Other World. 
Real Mansions 95 

A year crowded with work. Visit from actress 
who is psychic. Serves as medium for many com- 
munications. Letters received from actors since 
and including time of Shakespeare. In Paris; an 
uninvited stranger attends reception. Husband 
uses medium to re-establish a temporarily broken 
series of communications. New method of French 
medium. At home in Indianapolis again. Visit 
from actress when unusual psychic experiences 
occur. Photograph of Judas obtained at Oberam- 
mergau disintegrates. Slow growth of psychic 
powers best. Second visit to Spiritualists' Camp, 
Lily Dale, New York. For first time husband 
etherealizes. Mother declares there are real man- 
sions. Frances E. Willard's voice heard; makes 
characteristic comments on public affairs. Hus- 
band urges writer to guard her health; expresses 
anxiety about proper nourishment. Summary of 
convictions deducted from trip to Lily Dale and 
events preceding. 

V Attacked by Disease Pronounced Incurable. 
Refuses Medical Aid. Rubinstein and Pere 
Conde Introduced by Husband 118 

Work increases. Health breaks down. Physician 
visits her as friend and is allowed to diagnose 
case. Pronounced Bright's disease in an advanced 
state. Cure impossible, but medicine will relieve 
discomfort and abate advancement. Refuses this 
medical attention. Has no fear of death. Enters 
on a summer of hard work, and superintends ad- 
dition to Girls' Classical School; keeps two secre- 
taries busy; numerous duties calling for much 
labor through long hours. Enabled to go on only 
by curious electrical currents which invigorate and 
buoy up. Ouija-board introduced merely as. a 



CONTENTS—Continued 

CHAPTER PAGE 

means for establishing communication with hus- 
band. When accomplished, husband insists that it 
be put away and never used again. Pencil and pa- 
per or impression on mind recommended. Receives 
communications through automatic writing. Mr. 
Sewall, Rubinstein and Pere Conde as first teach- 
ers. The beginning of wonderful friendships. 

PART TWO 
A Promise Fulfilled — The Story of My Novitiate 

VI Rubinstein Selects Piano and Directs Exercise 
and Practise. Great Master's Life and Work 

on Etheric Plane. Pere Conde 133 

Through Pere Conde provision is made for a 
prescribed massage. Benefited by treatments. Ru- 
benstein insists upon purchase of piano. Buys 
piano selected by Rubinstein. Skeptical. Has no 
appreciation of music. Exercises begin. Rubin- 
stein's life and work on Etheric Plane. Conducts 
large conservatory there. Time most difficult con- 
dition for dead to remember. Consciously receives 
impressions of thoughts from minds of those on 
Etheric Plane. Rubinstein gives definition of "lis- 
tening." In spite of strain of hard work, grows 
stronger and better. Hears husband's voice with- 
out medium or trumpet. Urged to observe every 
experience and use all intelligence possible to un- 
derstand. Faith the food of the soul. Regimen 
for work and exercises prescribed. Severe disci- 
pline. Exercises to become more rigid as time ad- 
vances. Supplement to chapter deals in detail with 
Rubinstein's selection of piano. 

VII Masters Unmake and Begin Remaking Physi- 
cal Organism. Eats and Sleeps Little, but 

Grows Constantly Stronger 167 

Pere Conde's first long letter communicated inde- 
pendently. Permitted to have an exceptional ex- 
perience. To restore health must make over physi- 



CONTENTS— Continued 

CHAPTER PAGE 

cal organism. First necessary to unmake. Re- 
quires long hours of fasting and exercise. Task 
of restoration enormous, but not impossible. Res- 
toration begins. Conde heals body as physician. 
Author is constantly bathed in magnetisms from 
Etheric Plane. Begins fasting under direction of 
Conde. Head of priest becomes plainly visible. 
Difficult to fast, but persists. Grows stronger 
daily. Body being remade. Perception of rich and 
delicate perfumes. Physical weakness. Is put to 
severe test because of fast. Comes out of it 
stronger. Continues fasting and exercises for 
seven months. Exercises under direction of Ru- 
binstein. Pere Conde writes something of him- 
self and his life on earth. Fasting grows more 
rigid. Is told health of body and mind are essen- 
tial to work before her, and these depend on 
obedience. Urged not to boast or explain. 

VIII Unexpected and Sensational Introduction of 
Mesmer. Hypnotism — How to Detect and Re- 
sist It. Cured of Incredulity ..... 192 

Concludes first part of fast. Now able to sit with 
paper in front of her and watch communications 
arrive without use of pencil. Letters on important 
subjects. Light thrown on psychic experiences 
and conditions found on Etheric Plane. Told how 
to detect and resist hypnotic influence. Worried 
— prays for indisputable evidence that thoughts, 
words and actions originate outside of her 
own mind. Suddenly stands on one foot on top 
of small writing table and leaps from top of one 
piece of furniture to another. Rebels against con- 
trol of mind by outside influence. Is told this 
demonstration is given in answer to prayer for 
indisputable evidence that such a condition does 
exist. Cured of incredulity. Sensational introduc- 
tion of Mesmer. He talks simply and clearly. 
Explains force known as "mesmerism." Instructs 



CQmzm$~Continu*4 
eatAWSR rxn 

in magnetisms, their powers and uses* Improve- 
ment continues noticeably. Works twenty hours 
out of twenty-four. Rested without sleep; sated 
without food. First trance experience; beneficial. 
Is told one hour of trance more beneficial than 
many hours of sleep. At such a time there is 
temporary but entire separation of soul from 
body. Trance explained. Conde appears in robes 
of a cardinal. Gives definition of prayer. Discour- 
aged by severe attack of grippe. Mesmer appears 
and immediate cure is effected. Value of voice in 
aiding rapport. Meets two new visitors. Works 
for repose. 

IX Surprising Answer to Prayer when Rubinstein 

Controls. Works without Measuring Effort 216 

Great musician's photograph framed and hung in 
room. Rubinstein declares all work — all exercises 
— all success — lead to but one end — the demon- 
stration beyond possibility of cavil of the survival 
of identity. Masters work unceasingly to secure 
perfect polarization of all powers ; say this makes 
mortals immune from illness. Rubinstein domi- 
nates his pupil. Declares music calls for inex- 
haustible strength on part of its devotees. Sound- 
less music produced by pupil. Magnetized sleep; 
thirty minutes equal to eight hours' ordinary 
slumber. Goes eighty-five hours without food and 
sleeps only seven hours during that time. Works 
unabatedly every waking moment. Becomes the 
incarnate agent of master of music. Hands shaped 
for music. Rubinstein dislikes his photograph and 
presents another. Mystery — its definition. Many 
oral instructions received in four months. Thou- 
sands of pages filled with musical directions. 

X Culmination of Experiences at Eastertide. 
Physician Who Had Pronounced Case Hope- 
less Admits Cure 257 

Directed to eat meat for first time in five years at 
public dinner. Urged to observe usual social 



CONTENTS— Concluded 

CHAPTER PAGE 

habits because strangers judge by such habits and 
by the apparent physical results of treatments 
undergone. Suffers depleting attack in New Or- 
leans. Upon return home is restored by Conde. 
Finds when not fasting much sleep is needed. Is 
told people need sleep in proportion to food eaten. 
Pere Conde pronounces patient cured. Allowed to 
enter upon a more normal program of living. 
Conde prescribes drinking of tea and coffee for 
a time. Gives reasons. Magnetic slumber and its 
results. Grows well and strong. Physician who 
diagnosed case as incurable, aided by chemist 
whose tests led to that decision, now pronounces 
patient "perfectly normal." Work of upbuilding 
continues. Hundreds of pages automatically writ- 
ten "for record." Last sentence of Pere Conde's 
letter of that date — "again the end is but the be- 
ginning." Many years' conscious association with 
great masters confirms writer's sense of validity 
of experience. 

APPENDIX 

Psychic Law 

Lecture I Spirit Return 291 

Lecture II Recognition 301 

Lecture III Communication by Vibration .... 310 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 



Part One 

The Awakening 



Neither Dead Nor Sleeping 

CHAPTER I 

CONVINCED OF CONTINUED LIFE THROUGH LETTERS 
RECEIVED FROM RECENTLY DECEASED HUSBAND 

ON DECEMBER 23rd, 1895, there occurred 
an incident large enough in comparison with 
the other incidents of my life to be called an event. 
It was destined to change some of the most im- 
portant of my fundamental convictions, and to 
determine the subsequent main purpose of my life. 
I refer to the death of my husband, Theodore 
Lovett Sewall. 

A fortnight before, referring to the approaching 
fchange, Mr. Sewall had said to me: "Listen a mo- 
ment while I speak about what you refuse to see. 
You can not believe that I am going; I know it 
is inevitable. I wish now only to say that if I dis- 
cover that I survive death, the first thing I shall 
do will be to ascertain whether or not Jesus ever 
returned to earth after His crucifixion. You know 
we have not believed it; but, if I find that He did 
return to His disciples, I shall do nothing else until 
I shall have succeeded in returning to you, unless 
before that time, you have come to me." 

My husband was already so weak that to say all 
.1 



2 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

this required some minutes, and the effort quite ex- 
hausted him. To the declaration, I made no re- 
sponse and the subject was not again referred to. 
We had enjoyed nineteen years of happiness as per- 
fect as humans may experience ; four years of bliss- 
ful betrothal, fifteen of incomparably more blissful 
union. 

In church relationship we were of the school 
known in the United States as "Parker" or "Rad- 
ical" Unitarians. We desired immortality as most 
happy people do; we believed in it much as we be- 
lieved in the indestructibility of matter; but we 
felt no certainty of the survival of the separate 
individual entity. Upon this point our creed may 
be stated thus: 

As far as we know, we have no responsibility 
for our birth into this life; but we have found it 
so good that we shall never leave it voluntarily. If, 
when we are removed from this plane, we continue 
on some other, we shall doubtless find that just as 
perfectly fitted for our further happy development 
as this has been adapted to our needs up to date; 
and if we do not survive death extinction will pre- 
vent all sense of loss. 

This creed had been rehearsed by us almost daily 
since our love had so increased the value of life that 
only immortality could suffice our longings, and 
after the great event came — after death had 
wrought his miracle and left me stunned and deso- 
late — it was our daily repeated creed and not that 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 3 

single strange declaration of intention so unexpect- 
edly made by my husband, that was always in my 
thoughts; indeed, that declaration dropped entirely 
from my mind. This may seem as unnatural to the 
reader as it now seems to me ; but it is the fact. 

In the months immediately following the event, 
I was approached by two friends with appeals to 
visit a local "medium/ ' One of these advisers, 
whose opinions on serious questions had always 
seemed to me a curious medley of philosophy and 
sentiment, is not unknown in literary circles. The 
other, a familiar friend and an officer in our Uni- 
tarian Church from whom suggestions of this na- 
ture caused me great surprise, was a lawyer of 
repute and a citizen highly valued in Indianapolis. 
Both asserted that they knew that through such 
mediation I might again see and talk with my hus- 
band. The proposal shocked me. It seemed to me 
grossly to violate both reason and delicacy. I pro- 
tested that from our first meeting my husband and 
I had understood each other; that we had never 
needed a mediator or an intermediary, and that 
nothing could induce me to seek to reestablish com- 
munication with him by such means. Both assured 
me that they had personal knowledge of the truth 
they wished me to know, and gave me what they 
considered convincing testimony. It not only failed 
to interest me; it repelled. The lady assured mel 
that frequently when she had met me in the street 
she had seen my husband walking by my side and 



4 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

knew that he wished me to perceive his presence. 
This, far from increasing my faith in what she 
termed her "experience of perception," strength- 
ened my conviction that she was either self-duped 
or the victim of clever impostors. 

Unlike many bereaved, I did not seek to forget 
my sorrow or him whose removal had caused it; 
on the contrary, I strove to keep the memory of 
him always present in my own mind and in the 
minds of all about me; and I strove also to keep 
the memory disassociated from grief. Among the 
countless small means to which I resorted to secure 
this end, was the following, mentioned here be- 
cause of its value in connection with later experi- 
ences. 

Of the numerous last messages and greetings 
sent by my husband to his friends, that which he 
dictated to be read to the students of the Girls' 
Classical School was one of the most significant: 
"To be well and to be at work is to have the two 
conditions necessary to happiness." 

This brief message I inscribed under large framed 
photographs of my husband and hung one in each 
room of the school building, and in each room of 
our house where such a memorial would not seem 
inappropriate, little knowing how I was thereby 
helping to rivet the delicate but insoluble bond. 
With the effort to keep his memory, I united an en- 
deavor to forget grief in work, of which there was 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 5 

no lack. As principal of a large private day and 
boarding school, besides teaching daily from one 
to three hours, I had the supervision of a corps of 
twenty-five teachers in the school proper and of the 
home for students called 'The Classical School 
Residence," as well as of my own home which in- 
volved the direction of ten helpers. I also bore my 
share in the social life of my community, and in 
compliance with my husband's latest expressed wish 
maintained in as far as possible the same hospitality 
which had characterized our home.* At the time 
I was officially connected with both the National and 
the International Council of Women, and gave my 
vacations as well as my leisure during the school 
year to promoting the interests served by these 
organizations. Cooperative Internationalism, and 
the World Peace to be secured only through it, 
were then, as they still remain, my absorbing ideal. 
I was therefore much on the platform, and in June 
of 1897 my engagements took me to Halifax, 
Nova Scotia. 

While there, I received an invitation to be the 
speaker on "Woman's Day," set for the tenth of 
the following August at Lily Dale, New York. The 
literature accompanying the invitation indicated one 
of the Summer Assemblies, which in the United 



*Our home, known as Sewall House, was open not only to 
many circles in our own city, but to strangers traveling in the 
United States from all parts of the world. 



6 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

States under the general titles of "Chautauquas" 
and "Camp Schools" annually convene thousands 
of people for recreation and study. 

So long ago as 1897 most such assemblies, 
although continuously attended by more women than 
men, had a "Woman's Day," when it was the cus- 
tom to invite some advocate of political enfranchise- 
ment to discuss woman suffrage, a topic at the date 
usually tabooed at those places except on such fixed 
occasion. 

I had not before heard of the place, but accepted 
the invitation, recorded the date of the engagement 
and dismissed it from my mind. 

Only a few days before the date I learned that 
the engagement for August tenth would take me 
into a "Spiritualists' Camp." I had held myself so 
aloof from all means of information about spiritual- 
ists that I did not know there were such camps. The 
fact, however, seemed indifferent, and when ques- 
tioned by my informant, I said I did not regret the 
engagement; that had I known the character of the 
camp in advance, I should have made it, since spirit- 
ualists, not less than other people whose political 
conditions they share, need correct views on woman 
suffrage. 

When at seven o'clock p. m. on August 9, 1897, I 
arrived at the Lily Dale Assembly Grounds I was 
met by Mrs. B., in whom I recognized the efficient 
Chairman of the Press Committee of the National 
American Woman Suffrage Association, whom I 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 7 

had frequently seen at Washington (D. C.) con- 
ventions, but whose connection with spiritualism I 
had never suspected. When she proposed to con- 
duct me on a tour of the grounds and to introduce 
me to some of the most "famous mediums," I 
experienced a shock. I had hitherto admired Mrs. 
B. as a very intelligent and competent suffrage 
worker — but the discovery of her official connection 
with this camp and the manner of spending the 
evening suggested by her, reduced my confidence 
and respect. I told her that I did not wish to meet 
any "medium" however "famous"; that to me the 
word was offensive, being synonymous in my opin- 
ion, with the words, deceiver, pretender, charlatan 
and ignoramus. I frankly asserted that the name 
and the office assumed by those bearing it were 
equally obnoxious to delicacy and to intelligence. 

The amiable secretary did not seem at all of- 
fended. She told me that, although a spiritualist, 
her interest in phenomena was no longer keen, but 
that she was a tireless student of its philosophy 
which would probably command my deeper interest. 
The suggestion that spiritualism had a philosophy 
seemed absurd, but I did not discuss the matter. 

The next morning, a solitary walk through the 
camp disclosed numerous signboards bearing le- 
gends as repellent as they were novel : "Business," 
"Test," "Independent Slate-Writing," "Trumpet," 
"Trance," "Flower" and "Portrait Painting" Me- 
diums. These phrases confirmed a fear that I had 



8 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

fallen into a company of strangely ignorant and 
superstitious people. 

Although the grounds were attractive and well 
kept, the people well-dressed, courteous and quite 
remarkably alert and cheerful; and although later, 
my audience was attentive, responsive and sympa- 
thetic, I was not at all conciliated, but was eager 
to quit the place as soon as possible. I therefore 
declined all courteous overtures and repulsed the 
pressing plea of a friend, who had come from a 
neighboring town to hear me, to stop over a day 
or two "to investigate," and urging my engagement 
on the morrow at Chautauqua, New York, I 
hastened my preparations for departure. 

However, unexpected difficulties arose; a chain 
of what we ignorantly or irreverently name "acci- 
dents." The treasurer had been suddenly called 
away for two days; the train schedule had been 
changed; the carriage that, in consequence of the 
second circumstance, was engaged to drive me over 
the country, broke down when we were hardly 
started; a few minutes later a telegram postponed 
my engagement at Chautauqua by three days. 

Interior changes, as unpremeditated as those ex- 
ternal incidents were sudden, followed; and, a sec- 
ond after I had peremptorily declined to permit an 
introduction to a famous "independent slate-writer," 
following a compelling impulse which I scarcely 
realized until I had acted upon it^ I had, unintro- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 9 

duced, eagerly made an engagement with this same 
person for a private sitting the next day. 

In that sitting, quite contrary to my own expec- 
tation, and equally so to any conscious desire, I re- 
ceived letters written upon slates which I had care- 
fully selected from a high pile of apparently quite 
new and empty ones, had carefully sponged off, 
tied together with my own handkerchief, and held 
in my own hands, no other hand touching them. 
These letters, when read later in my hotel, whither 
I took them with an anxious incredulity which 
would not have been disappointed had I found them 
bare instead of covered with clear and legible writ- 
ing, were found to contain perfectly coherent, in- 
telligent and characteristic replies to questions which 
I had written upon bits of paper that had not passed 
out of my hands. The whole transaction had been 
enacted in broad daylight. I had sat on one side of 
a small table by an open window that looked out 
upon a summer landscape where children were play- 
ing games, and groups of people were visible among 
the trees; the medium had sat opposite me, appar- 
ently doing nothing. 

The whole environment was as normal as pos- 
sible. I myself was open-eyed and alert, perhaps 
more so than ever before in my life. But as I read 
the letters — and considered the conditions under 
which they had been produced and the time that 
jthis experience had occupied (less than one half- 



io NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

hour had I been in the medium's studio) I knew as 
dearly as I now know after twenty-two years of 
constant study and experimentation that I had, so 
to speak, acquired actual knowledge, if not of im- 
mortality, at least of a survival of death — I had 
learned that the last enemy is destroyed, in that he 
can destroy neither being nor identity, nor continuity 
of relationship. I knew that, quite unwittingly and 
reluctantly following the directions of St. Paul, I 
had to my small faith "added knowledge" and had 
acquired a definite certainty of at least one stage of 
human experience beyond death. Proofs of that 
degree of immortality I had received. 

This interview with the nominally dead, whose 
one common and dominant quality seemed a degree 
of vitality seldom encountered in the nominally 
living was followed by many others, successively 
conducted by an "independent slate-writer," a 
"trance reader," a "psychometrist," a "trumpet me- 
dium," a "trance interpreter of symbols" and other 
richly endowed and variously developed psychics. 

At the very opening of our interview through the 
trumpet my husband said to me, "I worked hard to 
bring you to this camp, and I thought after all I was 
going to fail and that even after you had come, you 
would go away without knowing me. I tried hard 
to impress you to see Mr. K. so that I might write 
to you." 

In my astonishment I interrupted him with a 
question indicating my incredulity of his interven- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING n 

tion. He replied, "You will never know what I have 
gone through to bring you here, and even after you 
had received my letter through Mr. K. I feared I 
should never be able to make an appointment for you 
with this trumpet. I was almost discouraged when 
the medium sent word to you that her time was all 

engaged, but (naming one who then served 

as his immediate tutor) encouraged me and told me 
what to do." 

This story of effort recalled the purpose con- 
ceived by my husband before his death and im- 
parted to me, as told in the opening of this narra- 
tive. 

Through the agency of these curiously developed 
people, I had at the end of three days, seen, talked 
with and received both letters and paintings of flow- 
ers from all those nearest to me who had at that 
time experienced what we call death, as well as from 
ancestors direct and collateral and from some other 
friends nearer to me in time than these latter, but 
more remote in kinship. My husband, my father, 
my mother, my half-sister, two sisters-in-law, a 
great grandfather and a little niece had identified 
themselves unmistakably and indisputably. 

I was impelled to treat this series of experiences 
very seriously. After each, I made a full, accurate 
record which later I copied in permanent form, still 
retaining, however, the original of every communi- 
cation written or otherwise received. As I read and 
reread this record of my discovery of the continued 



12 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and sequented life of the individual nominally dead 
and the continuance of the individual's interests and 
relationships, I was most impressed, ( i ) by the earn- 
est exhortations of my husband to great caution in 
communicating these experiences; (2) by his re- 
peated emphatic assertions that the experiences were 
perfectly natural or, as he expressed it, "all in na- 
ture"; and (3) by the earnestness of his repeated in- 
junctions to "study science." 

That the experiences were perfectly natural, i. e., 
in harmony with natural law ; that all of the powers 
which I had seen manifested resulted from the de- 
velopment of faculties which all humanity possesses 
in germ ; and that, moreover, these experiences were 
neither the effect of a peculiar religious belief, nor 
the necessary cause of a change in the religious be- 
lief of any one who, prior to such experiences, had 
a substantial and satisfying faith in immortality — 
such convictions were the first fruits of this experi- 
ence. 

The desire to share this new knowledge with 
friends who, like myself, had been bereaved, was 
very strong. It had brought me ineffable com- 
fort, a comfort that could proceed only from such 
knowledge and I wished them to possess it also. I 
was, however, restrained by the counter-desire of 
my husband, who told me that others would be as 
unable to accept my assurances as I had been to 
credit those of the friends who nearly twenty 
months before had tried to bring me consolation. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 13 

Every medium whom I had met had assured me 
that I was "naturally very psychic," but all had de- 
clared that the germs of my subtle faculties had 
been chilled by my education, my profession, my 
religious connection and my general social environ- 
ment. Each, however, in turn had assured me that 
if I would pursue the proper means, these faculties 
— which were not killed, only repressed and devi- 
talized by the materialism of my life — could be 
quickened into activity. As I reflected on the com- 
munications from friends and the comments of me- 
diums, I was much perplexed. Although I found my- 
self much indebted to the latter for the exercise of 
their gifts in my behalf, I did not feel at all flattered 
to be told that I was, "by nature, peculiarly psychic." 
Moreover I did not believe it. I very sincerely be- 
lieved myself to be singularly obtuse and inaccessi- 
ble to the approaches of humans who have survived 
death. 

In the course of these interviews I learned: (a) 
that one of the first surprises to the nominally dead 
is their continued nearness to their conditions in 
mortal life and to the persons known to them who 
are still in it; (b) that, however, the same skep- 
ticism prevails on the yon as on the hither side of 
death (though perhaps in less degree) concerning 
the ability of people here to be brought into connec- 
tion with those who have passed over; (c) that, to 
secure this connection, mediums on that side, as on 
this, serve those who are unable by their own un- 



14 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

aided efforts to reestablish relations with their 
friends; (d) that the most enlightened mediums, 
there as here, believe that all excarnate humans 
share these endowments, if only in undeveloped 
germs of faculty; and (e) that the method pursued 
there to test the ability of independent communica- 
tion, like that recommended by all the excarnate 
friends from whom the communications had come 
to me, and by all the mediums here through whose 
aid they had reached me (assuming that the desire 
for such power had been kindled) included medita- 
tion and concentration. 

I was told plainly that by these agencies a mag- 
netic current would be generated, and that when 
this had been brought to the proper power and had 
been focused in thought upon the person whose at- 
tention was desired, a magnetic connection would 
be established between seeker and sought. "Medi- 
tation," "concentration" — these words were per- 
fectly well known but, employed in connection with 
these new experiences, were so vague, that it was 
very difficult to keep the promise which I had made 
to my husband and to my mother, viz. : that I would 
practise them alone in my room daily. 

Before writing the preceding pages, I reread to 
myself for more than the one hundredth time the 
seventy folios on which on August 22nd, 1897, I 
compiled from copious notes written immediately 
after each sitting, a detailed record of the experi- 
ences which had begun eleven days earlier, and ha4 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 15 

occupied parts of August eleventh, twelfth, thir- 
teenth and fourteenth of the same month. 

From this I copy the concluding 1 paragraph which 
indicates the effect produced on my mind by these 
experiences and the purpose which originated in 
that effect. 

"This is the end of the first chapter of my ex- 
perience with phenomena of this kind. I am sure 
it is not the last. I am unspeakably grateful for 
what I have been privileged to see, to hear and to 
feel with my normal bodily senses of touch, sight 
and hearing ; and, wherever it may lead me, I know 
it can not mislead me. Therefore, God helping me, 
it is my deliberate determination, my fixed purpose 
'not to be disobedient to the heavenly vision' but to 
'follow the gleam,' " 



CHAPTER II 

MATTERS PERTAINING TO ETHERIC PLANE. UN- 
USUAL EXPERIENCES AND REVELATIONS 
THROUGH FAMOUS MEDIUMS 

ON SEPTEMBER 15th, 1897, there com- 
menced to come to me, through friends (none 
of them professional psychics), a series of letters 
which at longer or shorter intervals continued to 
September, 19 16. The first five of these came 
through the hand of a devoted member of the 
Episcopal Church, a woman of wide travel, large 
wealth and conventional life, as far removed as pos- 
sible in temperament, habits and position from my 
preconception of a psychic. On the receipt of the 
first letter, heeding a perception that others would 
follow, I filed it by itself in a Cyclone file. 

Since the receipt of that first letter two Cyclone 
files have been filled with communications of this 
kind coming through scribes of many nationalities 
and post-marked at various points in England, Ger- 
many, France, Italy, Australia and China, as well as 
in the United States. Only one of these scribes was 
known to me prior to receipt of such letters. Only 
two of them at the date of their first letters knew 
that I had had psychic experiences. 

16 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 17 

Some, entire strangers, when the ocean separated 
us, sent letters accompanied by notes of introduction 
from my husband; other strangers presented such 
letters to me at my own door in Indianapolis. Usu- 
ally, the letters thus received contained either im- 
mediately valuable information, or information 
which in its bearing on subsequent events, with 
which my relation was thus communicated in ad- 
vance, proved to be valuable. These communica- 
tions I regarded as corroborative to the validity o£ 
my own, experiences but as subordinate in value to 
these, from which I have therefore always kept 
them quite apart, believing experience, in this as in 
other matters, to be the most reliable, if not in- 
deed, the only source of actual knowledge. 

The experiences of those four August days re- 
corded in Chapter I assumed a continually increas- 
ing importance as time passed, and, far from fad- 
ing from my memory, seemed ever present, urging 
me to attempt a repetition of them ; and, as my wed- 
ding anniversary approached, the desire to receive 
my husband in our own home grew into a decision 
to take the first step by inviting the trumpet me- 
dium through whom I had held enlightening con- 
versations with many friends, to spend the day with 
me. She arrived about noon on Sunday, October 
31st, 1897. 

I immediately took her to my library where, pre- 
viously, acting under impulse, I had prepared the 



■i8 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Conditions for an interview. Between my library 
and the adjoining chamber is a passage which I had 
darkened by drawing the heavy portieres and within 
which, after removing every other article, I had 
placed two chairs. Setting the aluminum trumpet 
on the floor between the two chairs which we occu- 
pied, the medium asked her control to aid my friends 
to talk with me. There followed conversations with 
my husband and other relatives with whom I had 
enjoyed interviews in August; and in addition to 
these, with several other relatives whom in life I 
had not known. The conversations in number, 
length, content and variety were, except for the fact 
that they were not the first of their kind known to 
me, much more remarkable than those I had en- 
joyed at the camp. 

Different relatives called me by the various "pet" 
names which they had respectively been accustomed 
to use in life. There were continuous conversa- 
tions apparently participated in by several simul- 
taneously present, whose characteristic laughter I 
distinctly heard. Among my visitors was an aunt 
who had died many years before my birth, but 
whose partial namesake I am. For convenience I 
had dropped my second name and when a sweet 
voice said, "I am your Aunt Eliza, and your name 
is really May Eliza Wright Sewall," I was startled. 
My aunt did not chide me for having dropped her 
name, but seemed amused at my embarrassment 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 19 

over her knowledge of it. She proved a very in- 
telligent, entertaining visitor, as did a strange 
clerical gentleman whom my husband presented as 
his paternal grandfather, whom I mention here be- 
cause our acquaintance has developed significantly. 

I asked my husband's permission to report this in- 
terview to a friend much esteemed by him who had 
for many years been an habitual visitor at our 
house. This lady had suffered heavy losses by death 
since my husband's departure, and believing that a 
knowledge of what I was learning would comfort 
her, I longed to impart it. Referring to my fruit- 
less recital of my first experiences to our two broth- 
ers, to whom, by his direction, I had read their full 
record in September, my husband again urged me 
to secrecy, saying that I must postpone my confi- 
dence until her understanding should be opened to 
receive it. To my question, "Will she ever be able 
to understand?'' I quote his exact reply, "Probably 
not. Miss C. is a fine woman and she will be dis- 
creet, but she will be unable to understand it; nor 
can she, without understanding, accept it; for in- 
tellectual, good and serious as she is, she is wholly 
on the Material Plane." 

During this interview the entreaties to "study 
science" and the assurance that nothing of a super- 
natural character was involved were repeated with 
increased urgency. Moreover, I was told that this 
method of communication between different planes 



20 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

of life is conditioned by laws destined soon to be 
understood. 

When what my visitors all referred to as "the 
forces" began to grow faint, my husband explained 
that he could stay no longer, that he felt "humili- 
ated to come in this mean way" but that he should 
continue to use this and other similar methods of 
reaching me until my own "growth in a knowledge 
of natural law should furnish better facilities." 

The interviews occupied several hours; their rec- 
ord, made as nearly as possible with verbatim accu- 
racy the night of that same day, required four thou- 
sand seven hundred fifty-two words, and my entry] 
of this curious celebration of our anniversary is 
followed by words which reveal my intention to 
develop faculties still in germ. 

Not until February 19th, 1898, did my next op- 
portunity for meeting my friends come. The Tri- 
ennial Convention of The National Council had 
taken me to Washington, where on the date named 
I had another opportunity to exchange letters with 
my friends through the aid of the "independent slate- 
writer." The letters received were considerably 
longer and more complex, and contained more ref- 
erences to the need of my "earnest study of science" 
than the earlier ones. 

My contemporary record includes a brief note 
from a friend who had only just passed on. It ran 
thus : 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 21 

"My Dear Friend, 

"Convey my greeting to the Council and Miss 
Anthony. I shall continue to work for women. 

"Frances E. Willard." 

I had not addressed Miss Willard; her note was 
written across the reply of a friend to whom I had 
written, and the two were apparently produced 
simultaneously. Miss Willard's message perplexed 
me. Should I deliver it to Miss Anthony? I 
sought the advise of Mrs. Martha Wright Osborne, 
of Auburn, New York, a good friend of mine, and 
an intimate of Miss Anthony, who counseled silence. 

I record this incident because it was the first 
message sent through me to any one outside my 
family — and my treatment of it was that accorded 
to scores of undelivered messages to numerous per- 
sons, not a few of whom are entire strangers to 
me — whose friends have thus sought to reach them. 
One of the hardest things I have had to bear is thus 
to withhold messages entrusted to me, because by 
experience I have learned that it is still harder to 
deliver such messages only to have them rejected, 
and thenceforth to be considered by the friend or the 
stranger whom I had tried to serve as either a dupe 
or an impostor. 

The contemporaneous entry of this experience 
closes thus : "I feel my perceptions are being gradu- 
ally quickened and I await my own unfoldment and 



22 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

my expanding duty in the light of such unfold- 
ment." 

My next subtle experiences were through the 
trumpet on May fifteenth and May twenty-second, 
at Buffalo when en route to and from Ottawa in 
attendance on the National Council of Canada as a 
guest of its president, Lady Aberdeen. 

On May fifteenth I was accompanied to the house 
of the medium by a friend with whom, until that 
day, I had never exchanged a word about occult 
matters. 

Our interview, except for its being conducted 
through the trumpet, was as natural as any social 
hour could be wherein two friends would be intro- 
ducing members of their respective families to each 
other. The occasion was used rather for the benefit 
of my guest than for my own, as I felt the ordinary 
solicitude of a hostess to give my guest precedence 
in opportunity; my friend received much advice in 
respect to a plan she was then maturing, her 
acceptance of which the events of the following 
summer seemed to justify. 

Returning from Ottawa on May twenty-second, I 
was met at the station by the medium's husband, 
who told me that his wife had been "reserving her 
strength" for me, and was expecting an unusual 
demonstration of power. This excited hopes, which 
were not disappointed. I spent the night and had 
sittings which aggregated more than six hours. The 
"forces" seemedi uncommonly strong; I not only 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 23 

had visits with my own dearest friends on that 
plane, but with several others, who explained their 
coming on the ground that "they were passing by, 
and seeing opportunity, used it." Among these was 
an aunt who had passed on when I was a young 
lady, who possessed a striking and quite original 
personality, and a clergyman who had been my tutor 
in Latin. I welcomed these most unexpected visit- 
ors, recognizing their voices and personalities as 
distinctly as I ever could have done in life ; but was 
surprised by their entrance into my circle. In con- 
versation with my aunt (Mrs. Joseph Warren 
Brackett, known to her nephews and nieces as 
"Aunt Lyddy") I told her that I was rather hoping 
soon to go to Lincoln, Nebraska, to visit her young- 
est daughter, my favorite cousin, because I was go- 
ing to Omaha in the early summer to make arrange- 
ments for the Annual Executive Session of our 
National Council which was to meet in that city in 
the autumn. My aunt instantly replied : "I do not 
think you will be going to Omaha for that purpose 
this summer. I understand from Theodore that he 
prefers you to go to London, and that he will ar- 
range matters so that you can go, and you will pre- 
pare for your autumn meetings in Omaha by cor- 
respondence. Perhaps you will visit Nettie then.'* 
My acquaintance with Doctor Alexander had 
ceased before my nineteenth year. He had subse- 
quently become president of Beloit College, and 
a few years later I had heard of his death. Doctor 



24 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Alexander was a man of strong and beautiful per- 
sonality. He seemed eager to talk with me, and 
pressed much into a few sentences. He expressed 
great joy in being able to tell of the indescribable 
interest of life on his plane — where he said that he 
had found much to unlearn, had awakened to know 
that on earth he had taught many errors; that his 
former conceptions fell far below his present reali- 
zation of God's goodness — and on retiring he said 
he would add as a test of his identity, that his wife 
was with him but that their son (an infant-, in my 
girlhood and of whom I had since never heard) 
was still in earth life, facts subsequently verified. 

At this time several of my friends besides my 
aunt and Doctor Alexander made statements which 
they also declared to be "tests."* 

Two of these I will give. My sister told me that 
a favorite nephew then ill would soon pass over, 
that it was impossible for him to recover, and she 
begged me not to wish for his recovery as "what is 
before him is so much better." 

My husband told me that I should be going to 
England in the immediate future. When I pro- 
tested that I had not the means to go he assented 
and said that I should not be required to pay any 
part of the expenses from means that I then knew 
of, but that it was most important that I should go, 



*I had already learned that in the language used by those on 
the Etheric Plane, a "test" is a provable statement or a state- 
ment that will be proved by subsequent experience. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 25 

and that a friend would offer to pay what would 
amount to one-half of the expense and that he 
should supply the other half by securing me an op- 
portunity to earn this amount before the time for 
sailing. 

This interview dates the introduction of new sub- 
jects and of more definite instruction. Prefacing 
the statements with a declaration of his eagerness 
to make them, my husband told me that the first 
instruction he had received after his transition was 
about the nature and power of Jesus the Christ and 
added : 

"The reason Christ can do so much for us is that 
He took on all our infirmities; He is the greatest, 
i. e., the largest and ripest spirit ever humanly in- 
carnated; knowing all life He understands and can 
help all who live. It is because He was a human 
being, tested by all human experiences, that He 
can so help us." These statements concluded thus : 
"Every one who comes here is taught 'the truth 
about Christ/ " In this connection my husband ex- 
pressed his pleasure in my enjoyment of a book 
that I was reading and quoted some passages which 
he particularly commended. I expressed great 
astonishment, for the book was only just published, 
but he told me that he had read it with me. Find- 
ing that he could read with me, I begged him to tell 
me what he would most enjoy reading, that I might 
choose books with regard to his preference. 

I quote the exact words of his reply. "Of course! 



£6 NEITHER DEM) NOR SLEEPING 

I can read with you, and often do when you are 
reading what interests me, but I wish you to choose 
books for yourself only, without regard to me, for 
you must develop your own individuality. When I 
am interested I read with you; when I am not, and 
when I find I can do nothing for you, then I work 
in my studio here, and I am always very busy." 

r At this interview my husband told me that he 
talked with me every night and morning, and in 
reply to questions he told me that "the little tap- 
pings in my ears" which I reported were caused by 
the vibrations of the ether awakened by his articula- 
tions ; that the coolness which I often felt like waves 
of fresh air when I knew no air was moving about 
me, and the thrills which I felt frequently, "like the 
most delicate possible of electric shocks," were all 
manifestations of his presence. 

When I asked him if he could read my thoughts, 
he answered that he was not yet strong enough to 
do so; but that he could usually understand my 
articulate speech, and he asked me to add to my 
period for meditation time to talk to him and to 
hear his replies. 

During this interview I asked my sister if I could 
do anything to help a relative on that plane who 
had come to me and seemed most unhappy. The 
reply was: "Only by loving him. Poor dear; he 
£an not help it; it is in the influences under which 
he was born. He must simply work them out: un- 
til he has done this, nothing can help him." 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 27 

Two other references were made to planetary 
influences as follows: My mother, who was al- 
ways longing to get into direct communication with! 
her son, Doctor P. B. Wright, in reply to a ques- 
tion, said, in a voice expressive of painful patience, 
"No, your brother can not accept this yet. Your 
temperaments are so very different. You must both 
work out the conditions you were born under. The 
planetary influences make it impossible for him to 
accept what you can until he has worked out cer- 
tain conditions." The other reference to this sub- 
ject was to me still more amazing. It came from 
my husband, who concluded a quite long talk on 
the development of my own psychic powers, which 
he urged me to make my first object, with a state- 
ment that it would be well for me to include in my 
study of science and of natural law, that of "the 
planetary influences which govern one." During 
this day I was told quite casually by my husband's 
grandfather, with whom I began to feel well ac- 
quainted, that while he was talking with me Theo- 
dore had gone to Ravens wood (a Chicago suburb, 
where Mr. and Mrs. Edmund Quincy Sewall then 
resided) to see his parents, and in his later talk 
with me, my husband referred to his visit at Ravens- 
wood and told me what the family were discussing 
when he arrived. On this same occasion, when I 
inquired for my parents, I was told that they would 
talk with me later, that they were then with my 
"brother, the doctor, in Grand Rapids, Michigan." 



28 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

In their later interview with me, my mother re- 
peated what she had before written, that one of the 
greatest griefs experienced by those on the Etheric 
Plane proceeds from trying to awaken friends here 
to their presence and finding them quite inaccessible. 
She told me that she and my father always visit 
my brother on Sunday afternoons, as usually he is 
then less absorbed in work, and they always go 
"hoping to find him becoming accessible." 

My husband referred to letters recently received 
by me from him through Mrs. H., confirmed their 
genuineness, and said in regard to the reliability of 
such communications that they were more liable to 
inaccuracy than his communications directly with 
me, "since our relation and intimate acquaintance 
permit a more perfect adjustment of our atmos- 
pheres, on which depends the reliability of com- 
munications passing between planes." 

In this interview, although the entreaties to con- 
tinue in those exercises which are believed to in- 
duce the awakening of one's own unused faculties 
were more urgent than ever before, so were the in- 
junctions to secrecy more serious and more em- 
phatic. 

With all the pleas for secrecy were combined in- 
centives to investigation, and when, in response to 
a question, I asked "What is inspiration ?" my hus- 
band said: "Inspiration is the response to aspira- 
tion. The more you aspire, the more inspiration 
will come to kindle your mind." 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 29 

At about this time, as a result of certain read- 
ing, I was becoming anxious lest my husband should 
retard his own spiritual progress and reduce his 
enjoyment of the larger opportunities for growth 
on his plane of life by descending from it to help 
me. I expressed these fears and begged him not 
to do it, but to devote himself to the' enjoyment of 
conditions on that plane, where his experiences had 
taken him, and to the exercise there of his freed 
powers. 

Now, as always since, in response to similar 
pleas, he assured me that he had made his choice, 
and that by staying with me he aided his own prog- 
ress; that on the Etheric, as on the Physical Plane, 
"service is the condition of growth." These assur- 
ances he concluded with the significant words : "The 
trouble with us in our efforts to help you is that we 
are so tenuous. We can not hold together ; we need 
you to help us get the instruments that we can use." 

The feelings induced by the experiences of May 
15th and 22nd of 1898 are thus recorded: "These 
sweet experiences, although mysterious, are beyond 
a doubt perfectly normal. I sincerely believe that 
this knowledge will soon be the common property 
of mankind, and that soon intercommunication of 
planes will be as universally practised as telegraphy 
now is on our plane." 

These convictions were deepened, as almost im- 
mediately on my return home the means for going 
to London to preside over the executive session of 



3 o NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

the International Council of Women came from 
the two sources* earlier specified by my husband, 
and letters from Omaha came showing- that all the 
difficulties which the officers of our National Coun- 
cil of Women had thought would require me to go 
thither had been removed, and that the arrange- 
ments for our National Executive to be held there 
in the following autumn could be made easily by 
letter. 

In June of 1898 I had a new experience. I re- 
ceived a letter from Mrs. H., urging me to see 
Doctor H., a Chicago physician, and through him 
to arrange for an interview with a German psychic, 
of whom I now for the first time heard. 

My lecture engagements for this month took me 
to Winfield, Kansas, which would require my pass- 
ing through Chicago twice. 

Through correspondence it was settled that the 
interview with the psychic, which Doctor H. kindly 
undertook to arrange for, should be given on June 
seventeenth, the evening of my return from Win- 
field, and as, on account of other engagements for 
the same date, the hour could not then be stated, 



*A friend, not then intimate, most unexpectedly invited me 
to be her guest for the ocean passage; and, without corre- 
spondence or previous acquaintance with the people making 
them, I received propositions to do some rather drudging 
literary work for a Cyclopedia, and also to deliver two com- 
mencement addresses at seminaries in a neighboring state, 
quite unknown by me up to that time. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 31 

that a telegram specifying the hour should await 
my arrival at the Chicago railroad station. 

However, no telegram was there. As I knew 
only the psychic's last name, which was too com- 
mon to render the directory available, I tried to 
reach him through telephoning to Doctor H. ; but 
learning that the doctor had been called suddenly 
from home, there seemed nothing to do but to take 
the next train for Indianapolis. 

While in the act of securing my ticket, I was 
suddenly moved to abandon this plan and, entirely 
contrary to my custom, to go, without notification, 
to spend the night with friends. A similar impulse 
caused me to abandon taking the morning train to 
Indianapolis, which I had intended to do, and led 
me instead to pall at Doctor H.'s office. 

I found the doctor (an entire stranger) expect- 
ing me, because, prevented by his absence from 
making the engagement with the psychic and send- 
ing the promised telegram to meet my train from 
Winfield, he had repaired to the psychic's home late 
the night before, and had been told by my husband 
that I was still waiting at the station, intending to 
take the midnight train for my home. It had then 
been arranged that I should be "impressed to stay 
over," to call on the doctor the next morning, and 
there learn that my husband had engaged the psychic 
to reserve eleven o'clock of that morning for our 
interview. 



32 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

There was just time for Doctor H. to impart 
this plan, call a cab and give the address, where I 
arrived on the stroke of eleven, to find both the 
psychic and my husband awaiting me. 

The interview was as unprecedented as were the 
means of arranging for it. I had a long audible 
conversation with my husband by independent 
voice, and shorter similar ones with my sister and 
the little niece who had sent me the flowers, and 
whom I shall henceforth in this narrative call by 
the full name to which she always responds, little 
Annie Brackett. From my contemporaneous rec- 
ords of the interview I quote some sentences, which 
show what was at that time my mental attitude to- 
ward this subject, and how this was met. 

"I have been feeling unhappy of late, fearing 
that I am very selfish to let you trouble yourself 
so much about my plans and duties that relate to 
earth life. I feel as if I ought to ask and take your 
help only in aiding my spiritual growth." 

(Ans.) "That is a mistake. Taking your earth 
burdens in so far as I can turns them into joys for 
me. You do not thus retard my progression, you 
help it" 

My feeling was persistent, and I said, "I do not 
wish to be selfish, and it seems to me that it is 
selfish to let you have a care about my earth life 
plans, or even to know them. When you were here 
you bore all these burdens, and, having passed on 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 33 

to the next plane, it seems to me you ought to be 
permitted to bear only whatever burdens may be- 
long to that evidently higher and more beautiful 
fife." 

(Ans.) "You are mistaken. I continue to grow 
in helping you. It is right that I should do it, and 
it is not selfish in you to permit me to do it. As 
for knowing your earth life, I did know it before 
I reached you last summer at the camp-. I do in 
general and to a degree vaguely know it independent 
of your desire and help. Our interviews give me a 
more satis factor} 7- knowledge of it, and thus, instead 
of increasing my cares, make me less anxious." 

"Well, if this is so, I must learn to understand 
you and to talk with you without the aid of others. 
Do you think I shall ever be able to understand you 
when you talk with me at night and in the early 
morning as you say you now do? I hear sounds 
now — but I never distinguish a word. Shall I ever 
do so?" 

(Ans.) "I am certain of it." 

The reply came with encouraging emphasis. 

Then, referring to a subject that was seldom 
absent from my mind, I said, "I want to ask an 
explanation of what you said about Christ when 
we met in Buffalo — I did not quite understand." 

(Ans.) "Oh! we are all taught that Christ is 
the transcendent human being above any other spirit 



34 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

ever humanly incarnated in goodness and purity. 
The laws of nature are perfect and sure. They are 
never broken. Do you understand — never broken. 
And all things are under law." 

Then came a curious experience which seemed 
equally physical and mental — it seemed like a sud- 
den expansion of brain tissue to accommodate a 
sudden expansion in comprehension of the im- 
measurable bigness and the unbreakable continuity 
of nature's laws. 

Then I asked for information about life on that 
next plane, adding: "It must be beautiful." 

(Ans.) "I have very much to tell about life on 
this side, but can not do it now — you can not yet 
receive it. It is beautifully natural." 

My husband then said in a very low voice, "I am 
going; I can not get the force to talk now^but 
soon, very soon, we shall meet again." 

From my sister I that day learned that not only 
had all the members of my family on that side 
been brought together through my husband, but 
that also through him they had all been brought into 
communication with the Earth Plane; that each in 
turn, on dying, had experienced his own ability to 
continue cognizant of earth life; that each had also< 
been taught the possibility of awakening friends 
still on earth to the presence of the so-called dead^ 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 35 

but that they had been withheld by skepticism and 
prejudice until Theodore "had held doors open for 
them." 

The significance of these experiences as grasped 
at the time was summed up thus : 

(a) I had felt the power of Impression and had 
unconsciously responded to it. 

(b) I realized that it was the subtlest and most 
reliable form of communication between planes yet 
made known to me. To acquire the conscious and 
intentioned use of it was a new goal. 

(c) The proposition that Jesus born at Naza- 
reth had become the Christ and that He is justly 
the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the righteous 
ruler of the earth, passed from an indifferent theory 
to a personal conviction. 

(d) I experienced a new comprehension of the 
inviolability of natural law, of its all-inclusive do- 
main from which no plane of life known to humans 
is exempt; and as a corollary to this, I had now 
gained an unshakable conviction not only of the 
consecutiveness of human life on all planes, but also 
of its sequential character. 

"Soon, very soon, we shall meet again/' were the 
words with which my husband had concluded our 
interview on June eighteenth, and five days later I 
sailed from New York, my goal being London ; my 
object, to preside over the Executive of the Inter- 
national Council of Women convened there in July; 



36 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Lady Aberdeen, its president, being unable at the 
time to go to London, had asked me as the Coun- 
cil's vice-president at large to perform this service, 
to make the preliminary arrangements for the sec- 
ond quinquennial of the Council, which was to meet 
in the same metropolis in 1899. 

Among the letters of introduction given me by 
my superior officer was one to Mr. William T. 
Stead. 

Although I knew of Mr. Stead's experiments in 
telepathy, I did not know of his book, entitled Let- 
ters from Julia, nor had I ever heard that he pos- 
sessed or claimed mediumistic powers. 

It was on Sunday, July seventeenth, that, hav- 
ing already met Mr. Stead, but not yet having ex- 
changed a word with him on psychic matters, I 
went by his invitation to Wimbledon. 

For some time the conversation was kept close 
to the Council, and to the progressive movements 
which I hoped it would promote; but finally it 
turned upon the subject uppermost in my mind, and 
in response to his disclosures I told Mr. Stead of 
my experiences in communicating with my husband ; 
also that since coming to London I had first learned 
of his interest in this subject; and I asked him if 
he would introduce me to the best psychic known 
to him in London. 

To my amazement, Mr. Stead replied, "Well, if 
you want an interview with your husband, perhaps 
I can help you to one now; I don't know. I never 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 37 

tan tell, but — " he added, taking a tablet and pencil, 
"you ask your husband anything you wish to — » 
merely asking it mentally; perhaps he can use my 
hand to answer." 

Mentally I proposed a series of questions. At 
the end of each, Mr. Stead's hand began to move 
rapidly and as if without his guidance over the 
paper, and to each was given an intelligent reply. 

These pages torn from the tablet and given me by 
Mr. Stead are before me as I write. There are 
references to incidents in the past that could have 
been known only to Mr. Sewall and myself, and 
there are statements made, my husband said, as 
"tests," by which I could judge of their validity as 
time should pass. All this occurred while we were 
sitting on the balcony, in the open air and in broad 
daylight. 

Although, as before reported, I had already re- 
ceived letters^purporting by their senders to be auto- 
matically produced, this was the first time I ever 
witnessed automatic writing, and I observed it with! 
conscientious attention. Whether Mr. Stead had 
read the questions formed in my mind, but un- 
uttered, and then had intuited my husband's tem- 
perament and character so correctly that he could 
write perfectly intelligent, consistent and charac- 
teristic replies; or whether, with no knowledge of 
either question or answer, he had merely furnished 
the conditions and force which enabled my husband! 
to read the questions in my mind and to use Mr. 







8 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 



Stead's hand in replying to them — the phenomenon 
was curious and suggestive, and besides the personal 
pleasure which it yielded, it seemed to possess scien- 
tific interest and to demand scientific study. 

Through the kindness of Mr. Stead, I received 
two other letters from my husband — more intimate, 
more important than any hitherto received, urging 
me never to abandon the study that I had entered 
upon until the time should have come when we 
should find ourselves independent of all inter- 
mediaries. 

At this time Mr. Stead gave me a letter to one 
whom he commended as the best medium then 
known to him in Great Britain. 

It was noon on July twenty-second that, having 
engaged this hour by correspondence, I repaired to 
the house of this psychic. 

On my arrival a thunder-storm was impending, 
the air was charged with electricity, and Mrs. B. 
said that such electrical conditions were most dis- 
turbing and she did not know whether she should 
be able to serve me. 

The appointments of the room and the procedure 
of the medium were quite like those with which my 
interviews through the trance medium at Lily Dale 
had made me familiar. Seating herself by a table 
near me, Mrs. B. made the passes over herself which 
magnetists affect, but failing to induce the trance 
state, she asked me if I had anything with me that 
had belonged to or been worn by the person with 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 39 

whom I particularly wished to communicate. I had 
in my hand-bag my husband's photograph, and a 
Frc-ich testament that he used frequently to read. 
Mrs. B. held these in her hands and in a moment 
the trance state was evident. Presently she began 
describing the persons whom she saw "crowding 
about me," and concluded by saying that "a gentle- 
man, pale, with very refined features and with dark 
hair and dark eyes," was the most solicitous of my 
visitors. "He says he is your husband, that he 
wishes to talk with you by the direct method, and 
thinks he can do so, but that the conditions to-day 
are unfavorable." The rain had been pouring in 
torrents from almost the moment of our retiring 
to the inner room, and the roar of the thunder was 
accompanied by lightnings which penetrated closed 
shutters and drawn draperies. The entranced 
medium seemed disturbed, and presently, returning 
to normality, said that in such conditions she could 
not remain entranced long enough to secure a satis- 
fying interview. 

She told me that she would try to have "Vigo," 
her "control," get acquainted with my friends on 
the next plane before Friday, July twenty-ninth, the 
date we had agreed upon for a second trial. 

From this interview I had gleaned one additional 
fact, viz. : that the force used for communications 
between planes of life is, while necessarily more 
powerful than electricity, at the same time more 
delicate and can be disturbed by it. 



40 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

A week later, 5 p. m. July twenty-ninth (hav- 
ing in the meantime been to Holland to assist in 
the organization of a National Council of Women), 
I again visited Mrs. B.'s apartment. The weather 
was fine, the conditions were pronounced favorable, 
and I had the following, to me, unprecedented ex- 
perience. 

Preparations were made as before, i. e., I myself 
examined the room in which I was to receive my 
guests. With the exception of a few framed photo- 
graphs on the walls and a few small ornaments on 
the mantel, there was nothing in it but a small table, 
with bare legs, and two chairs, one on either side of 
the table, and in one corner a wash-stand holding a 
basin, a pitcher of water and a towel. After darken- 
ing the windows, as on the previous visit, by lower- 
ing the shades and drawing the draperies (which 
now on a fine day I found reduced the light only 
to a soft twilight), Mrs. B. directed me to take one 
chair, seated herself opposite me, and taking my 
hands, held them in hers for a few seconds only, 
when there passed through her frame the slight 
shudder which seems to precede the entranced state. 
Instantly through Mrs. B.'s lips, not her voice, but 
that of her chief "control,"* with whose tone and 



*I early learned that "control" Is tHe Inappropriate name 
given to the medium or assistant on the Etheric Plane. I find 
the name inappropriate because no more control is exercised 
by the medium on that plane than on this. The two are, so 
to speak, respectively the transmitter and receiver, of mes- 
sages for the users of the wireless magnetic current. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 4* 

accents I had become familiar on my first visit, ad- 
dressed me. 

She told me that during the week she had met 
my husband, and it had been arranged that to-day 
he should try to take possession of the medium's 
organism and talk with me independently of any 
aid. She added that as he had never before done 
this, the effort would probably be made with some 
difficulty, and it might be some minutes before he 
would be able to "use this organism comfortably/' 
Vigo added : "Our medium may experience con- 
vulsions as this personality, your husband, takes 
possession of her organism for the first time; if 
this should happen, do not be alarmed; it is all in 
accordance with law — your husband wishes me to 
say 'with natural law not yet generally known, but 
perfectly natural.' " 

Having given this warning, Vigo retired, a slight 
shudder passing through Mrs. B.'s frame as she did 
so. I did not see Vigo retire, but I, so to speak, 
heard her go. For an instant Mrs. B.'s frame be- 
came convulsed — a moment of rigidity being fol- 
lowed by contortions; presently relative serenity re- 
turned, and as a rapturous smile overspread the 
features of the medium, my husband's own voice- 
low, gentle, but eager and firm, entirely natural and 
unmistakable, addressed me. His voice — not Mrs. 
B.'s voice, not Vigo's, but his, filled with emotion; 
his whole manner betrayed excitement. He spoke 
eagerly, telling me what pleasure he had in this 



42 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

manifestation. He said that as it was his first ex- 
perience of using another person's physical organ- 
ism, he found it difficult ; but thought it a "satisfac- 
tory way to effect a return/ ' I was so surprised 
and awed that I found it difficult at first to act on 
my husband's invitation to ask questions. Naturally, 
however, when I had adjusted myself to the situa- 
tion, I asked him to explain this manner of mani- 
festing. I quote his exact reply, written down at 
the time: 

"Why, all there is about it is this : The medium 
has retired from her body and has loaned her 
organism to me that I may talk with you all alone 
without the intervention of a third person; I never 
have had such an opportunity before, but I am 
getting used to it and shall get on very well. I am 
told that I shall not be able to remain long the first 
time, and I feel this is true, so we must talk as fast 
as possible and about the things that most imme- 
diately concern you." 

To my next question, which referred to a recent 
rather unusual incident, my husband replied : "Cer- 
tainly I know about it. You hardly seem to believe 
what I have now several times told you, that we 
are practically always together, i. e. f that I am 
always with you except when you are with me." 

"I must be very stupid, Theodore, but I don't 
know what you mean by my being with you." 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 43 

"Nevertheless, what I say is true, that practically 
we are together all the time, for during the daytime 
and when you are awake I am with you on the 
Earth Plane, and when you are asleep — when your 
body and mind are resting on your bed — then you, 
or perhaps one should say your soul, is brought to 
this plane and has many experiences, the refresh- 
ment of which is communicated to body and mind 
when your soul returns to them." 

"But, Theodore, it seems dreadful to me to have 
such experiences, and not be conscious of them! 
Shall I ever grow into a condition where I shall be 
conscious of my or of my soul's experiences ?" 

"Certainly," was the reply, "you are growing into 
that condition. You now are conscious of your 
soul's experiences while these are in progress and 
you now retain them: but you are not yet able to 
impart them to your mind and your body, i. e. } to 
become mentally and physically conscious of them, 
so to speak. As body and mind both have many 
experiences which are unshared by either your real 
self or by your soul, although through them your 
real self gets more effective instruments — so the 
soul has many experiences that in their nature can 
not be shared by the mind and body, although the 
value or net product of such experiences may be 
and often i's communicated to the body and to the 
mind; to each in just the degree that each is able 
to appropriate such product. You will grow men- 
tally and physically conscious. As you become so, 



44 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

do not be surprised — do not be alarmed by what- 
ever may happen. Wait patiently; remember that 
all this knowledge, new to you, is natural — is ac- 
cording to law. Study natural science, study nature's 
laws'' 

Later in the interview my husband said : "When 
you go home, sit for writing, sit in the library — not 
with slates ; that is too elementary for your present 
Condition — but sit with tablet and pencil. I will 
come and write through your hand as I did through 
Mr. Stead's." 

Again my husband enjoined caution. "I do not 
wish your interest to become public yet. The time 
may come — I think will come, but not now." 

In this conversation I learned that my husband 
was acquainted with the "J una " who, in corre- 
spondence with Mr. Stead, had expressed a desire 
to establish a Bureau of Communication between 
the two planes of life which border either side of 
the experience we name death. 

When my husband retired, I felt, rather than saw, 
his departure, and the return of Mrs. B. to her body 
was as evident to me and apparently as easily ac- 
complished by her as would have been her return 
to a room or to a chair which she had temporarily 
vacated for another's use. 

Mrs. B. confirmed my husband's instruction as 
to the method of acquiring automatic writing, and 
said that Vigo had just told her that, if permitted, 
she would help me. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 45 

The reader will observe that this interview en- 
abled me to witness quite new, and what one might 
call more complex and surprising, phenomena than 
have before been recorded. 

On New Year's Eve of 1899 and the following 
day I had three sittings with the trumpet medium 
in Buffalo, which aggregated eight and one-half 
hours of conversation with nine persons, three of 
whom had not before approached me ; one of these 
was introduced by my husband as one of his "new 
guides." 

All the remarks of former visitors indicated 
progression on their part and continued effort to 
help me to become more susceptible to subtle in- 
fluence. 

These made frequent reference to matters dis- 
cussed in former interviews and to incidents of the 
intervening period — which furnished indisputable 
evidence of their cognizance of my life and also in- 
dicated in several of them varying degrees of pre- 
science. Although all disclaimed the possession of 
any degree of the prophetic faculty, they assumed 
its well-known possession by many on the next plane 
and its definite cultivatableness. These interviews 
were much too long to reproduce and I select from 
the contemporary record those passages that to me 
then seemed most significant, and others, the im- 
portance of which succeeding events revealed. 

My husband referred to a luncheon in Rochester 
at the home of Reverend William C. Gannett, where 



46 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Miss Anthony and I had been guests. He spoke 
with much appreciation of the kindness that had 
been shown me and of the interest manifested in 
the Council, and then, quoting a reference to an his- 
torical statement made by another person at the 
luncheon which I had not particularly regarded, he 
told me to look it up and I should find the statement 
erroneous. This I did and discovered that my hus- 
band was correct. 

Referring to communications recently received 
through the independent slater-writer, I asked for 
an explanation of a passage, which, while not di- 
rectly saying so, implied that my father and mother 
were no longer in the same sphere.* Approving 
my inference, my husband said that my father felt 
it his duty to progress and that he had gone on to 
the next plane, but that my mother was now living 
with him (that is, with my husband), as she chose 
to remain in the lower sphere, where she could more 
easily be helpful to my brother and to myself and to 
(another relative). 

My husband said, "Your mother spends much 
time with the doctor, trying to make him more re- 
ceptive.' ' 

Later, to my great astonishment, came , 

the relative above referred to, who, in response to 



*I will bring together all the information received at this 
time bearing on the progressive states and the ability to 
choose one's place (always within the limits of one's char- 
acter and one's attainment). 






NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 47 

questions, told me that he was much with my 
mother, who was helping him, and that Theresa, 
my sister, came often to see him and also to help 
him — that he had not seen my husband, who was 
in a higher sphere than his and had not been to see 
him, and, he added, "I do not wish him to come." 
spoke with mingled irritation and resent- 
ment, and when I essayed, just as I certainly should 
have done in a similar conversation in earth life, to 
soothe him and to induce a kindlier feeling, 

replied : "Well, I can't help it. I've got 

to work out my own conditions and they are en- 
tirely different from yours — entirely different. 

I asked, "Just what do you mean? I do not 
understand you." 

"Why, my planetary conditions ; you know every 
one must work out his own." 

I asked: "Did you know that I went to Alta- 
mont?"* 

"Oh, yes ! I knew it and was glad you came, but 
I wished you had come earlier, when I could have 
received you." 

Then followed a conversation (the record of 
which took five hundred words) which is too inti- 
mate to reproduce, but which proved beyond a doubt 
the ability of the so-called dead to be cognizant of 



*It was after this relative's death, which had occurred in 
the previous summer, that I first went to his home. At that 
time his daughter had telegraphed asking me to attend his 
funeral. 



48 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

minutest details of life still going on on earth, and 
also to have only a less quick perception of the feel- 
ings of survivors than of themselves. 

When my father came he confirmed what I had 
already been told by saying in reply to my inquiries, 
"I am with mother often, but not all the time just 
now. I thought I ought to progress, and so I have 
passed on to the next sphere. You must remember 
that I have been over here much longer than your 
mother has, and, besides, she wants to help the 

doctor and you and >. (naming the relative 

before referred to), whom I can do nothing for at 
present. ,, 

Questioning my father about my sister's present 
life, he told me that he saw her frequently, but was 
not in her sphere, "because she, too, chooses to stay 
behind and help others all she can; particularly she 

is just now working hard to help " (the 

same relative). 

When my mother came I asked, probably rather 
abruptly, for I had hardly been able to wait to get 
her view, "Mother, how is it that you and father 
are not living together now?" 

"Why, my child, we can not be together all the 
time just now, for we both have duties. Father is 
trying to progress, and I am staying by choice in 
this sphere, where I can have more chances to be 
helpful to you and your brother, and particularly 
to ." 

I reminded my mother of her early promise tq 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 49 

come and write for me if I would sit in my room 
with slates, and added, perhaps reproachfully, that 
she had never done so. "That is true, my child, but 
your husband did not wish me to. He feared that 
if you sat with slates, your efforts might be dis- 
covered and might be used to your injury; also he 
feared that should this power be developed now, 
you might become too much absorbed by it. Be- 
sides, you know that it is less satisfactory than 
writing on paper, which we believe you are to learn. 
But you know in the present state of ignorance of 
this power, were it known that you were using it, 
it would diminish the esteem in which you are held 
and injure your work, and that we can not bear." 
"Mother, have you spoken to father yet about 



"Not yet; it would do no good yet. Poor 
! He must work out his conditions. You 



know those conditions are very unfortunate, but I 
shall help him all I can, and Theresa will help him, 
too." 

When Theresa came, I asked questions about her 
present life. Among other replies was this: "I 
am very busy, but my work would be hard to de- 
scribe. I meet many who come over. It is very 
sad to see how many people here seem to have no 
one to love them. I try to do what I can for people 
of this class, and, besides, I am trying to help 



Expressing a wish that I might also do something 



5o NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

to help him, I added, "I do want to help, and I 
pray for him every night." 

Theresa replied, "Yes, I know it. But, my dear 
sister, one loving thought is more helpful than 
many prayers." 

Again I followed up this lead : "Just now > tnen > 
can I help? I certainly could not make the prayer 
if I did not entertain the loving thoughts." 

The reply came: "Every day say, 'Dear sister 
Theresa, I do love you,' and add, T do love 

.' There is nothing so powerful as 

thought, and loving thought is the most powerful 
kind; and to put this thought into articulate speech 
strengthens it." 

In this interview, I asked my mother about 
Grandfather Weeks*, whose failure to arrive sur- 
prised me. My mother said, "I think he will talk 
to you to-day, but there are so many who wish to 
talk with you that I do not know. He is now on 
the Celestial Plane." 

"Mother, what is the Celestial Plane?" 

"It is the plane entirely above the Etheric, where 
the Ancients are." 

"The Ancients? Whom do you mean by the 
'Ancients' ?" 

"People who passed over a long time ago, many 
centuries ago. People like Mary and Jesus and 



♦Whom, in his first post-mortem interview with me, my 
husband had introduced to me as his "first tutor on the 
Etheric Plane." 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 51 

other great guides. Theodore's present guide, La- 
monti, who was a wise Italian, a sage on earth hun- 
dreds of years ago, lives on the Celestial Plane." 

"Well, is it possible that your Grandfather Weeks 
was such a sage that he can be on the same plane 
with those you name?" 

In a hushed and reverent voice, my mother re- 
plied, "On the same plane, but not in the same 
sphere. On the Celestial, as on the Etheric Plane, 
are many spheres." 

"How many?" 

"I do not know." 

"Mother, you used a curious phrase. You said 
'People like Mary and Jesus/ In your sphere is 
it supposed there are any like Jesus? Is He not 
thought there to be a God, or to be One with God ?" 

Very solemnly and emphatically came the reply: 
"No! my child, there is no God but One. Jesus is 
the greatest ever humanly incarnated, but not God." 

Grandfather Weeks came, and in a long conversa- 
tion that followed gave me much information about 
my mother's family, certainly entirely unknown to 
me at that time, which subsequent reference to the 
Brackett genealogy when published, six years later, 
confirmed. 

During this visit I said, "Grandfather, do you 
teach Theodore now?" 

"Oh, no. Sometime since I introduced him to 
Professor Lamonti, who is his present immediate 
guide."' 



52 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"How did you come to do that?" 

"Lamonti was once my guide; he is a fine man 
and a fine linguist, and I knew Theodore would 
enjoy him and be helped by him." 

"Where is Theodore now, grandfather? Is he 
where he was when he first introduced you to me?" 

"No ! He has gone to a higher sphere." 

"Well, grandfather, I do not wish to hinder his 
progress, but I hope he will not get so far beyond 
me that, when I pass over, we can not go on to- 
gether." 

"Oh, never fear! So far as I can see, you are 
always together now. Theodore chose to stay with 
you, or he might now be on the Celestial Plane." 

I remarked on the happiness, the consolation that 
I had experienced in even my imperfect knowledge 
of the possibility of this companionship, and Grand- 
father Weeks replied, "Yes — times have changed 
since I was on earth." 

"In what respect, grandfather?" 

"Why, in regard to just what you and I are now 
doing; talking with each other across the River of 
Death. I should have jeered at this or have called 
it witchcraft." 

Much more informing talk by Grandfather 
Weeks was concluded thus : "Theodore must have 
most of the time, and Professor Lamonti, who has 
just come, wishes to speak with you." 

As Grandfather Weeks withdrew, a peculiar 
voice with a foreign accent greeted me. Granting 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 53 

its possibility, the brief interview; following the 
greeting was very natural and held only one intima- 
tion of singular significance. This was in Professor 
Lamonti's assurance that he had wished the meet- 
ing because thus to establish the magnetic connec- 
tion with one so closely associated with his pupil 
would enable him to be a more helpful guide to his 
"new disciple, your husband, for whom I feel affec- 
tionate admiration." 

I had determined in advance of this interview not 
to be so absorbed in the enjoyment of it as to allow 
the time to slip by without my putting some ques- 
tions that had begun to press heavily on me; and 
almost immediately upon my husband's coming, I 
told him of this resolution. He expressed great 
interest in hearing my questions, saying, however, 
that if they related to his present plane of life, he 
should not be able to make it very intelligible to me, 
but would do his best. 

"Theodore, do you know what Mrs. B.* meant 
by her recent letter to me? She wrote that her 
'control' has 'lost the chord/ and therefore can not 
reach you and get letters from you to send me, as 
she promised. What is the 'chord' and what does 
'losing the chord' mean ?" 

"This is rather difficult to explain ; but the 'chord' 
may be compared to the wire that connects one tele- 
phone with another through an exchange. Several 



*The London medium. 



54 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

people may be thus connected; but should one wire 
be broken, communication would be interrupted. 
Vigo has lost the key. We shall try to find it for 
her." 

'Theodore, often I feel as if a current — some- 
times a very gentle and sometimes a strong current 
* — were flowing suddenly through various portions 
of my body? Are you present at such times, and 
does your approach cause the sensation ?" 

"Yes. This is caused by certain etheric vibra- 
tions set in motion by my presence." 

"One thing more! Do you know that Mrs. H. 
sent me a ouija-board and that I have been trying 
to use it? Will it help me in my efforts to learn 
automatic writing?" 

"I of course knew that she had sent it, but I have 
not wished you to use it. Your magnetism is not 
adapted to it. You will succeed best by simply 
holding pencil and paper. Sit regularly for writ- 
ing and I will try to help you, and I will also try to 
get help for you." 

"Please explain more fully just what you mean 
when you tell me so emphatically to 'study science.' 
I hardly know how or where to begin. You know 
I have always been more interested in literature 
than in philosophy, and more interested in philoso- 
phy than in science, and I hardly know how to set 
about science." 

"I know that; but I will try to help you, and I 
Ian sure you will grow to understand how to study 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 55 

it. I think your perceptions are becoming quicker. 
Science is the one subject to study. Science is 
based on nature's laws, and a knowledge of these 
laws and of their applications constitute wisdom." 
Then my husband abruptly added, "Tell the lady 
who was talking with you at luncheon that she is 
mistaken; that the propositions of the highest 
philosophy all rest on natural law" 

"Yes! I think I realize that all knowledge is 
one; that the evolutionary process is universal and 
obtains on all planes, but I am very ignorant of 
science, and hardly know how to begin. Will you 
help me?" 

"Yes, I will help you, and will try to get others, 
more experienced in teaching pupils still on earth, 
to help you." 

"I long to talk about your life, but I hardly know 
how to ask intelligent questions about it. I am so 
ignorant of its conditions." 

"I jean not explain about my life yet, and I like 
to talk about yours, which we can talk about 
profitably, ( because both of us know its conditions 
and its language ; but you are being subtly trained to 
perceive the conditions 'on this plane/ and by and 
by we shall be able to discuss them." 

Theodore again exhorted me to prudence, finally 
adding with a most characteristic laugh, "That's 
my role again — to hold you back," and then eagerly, 
as if fearful that I might have misunderstood, he 
added, "I do not wish you to think that I want to 



56 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

rein you in and keep you from exercising your free 
will ; I only wish that you shall say nothing publicly 
until the time comes when you can prove everything 
and maintain yourself against inevitable criticism. 
In three years that time may come, for some change 
— some very important change — is coming in about 
three years." 

Then I gave the following promise, which I have 
tried to keep inviolate: "I promise never to speak 
in public on this subject nor to make any public 
avowal through writing until I have your full ap- 
proval. I willingly shall work at my development 
three years — I wish to know my ground before I 
speak." 

Let it be observed that this conversation took 
place on January ist, 1899. What change came 
"in about three years" a later chapter of this volume 
tells. 

During this conversation my husband told me: 
"The year you are now entering on will be much 
more successful than the past year has been, be- 
cause the conditions are more favorable — I mean 
your own planetary conditions are much better and 
your efforts in all directions will secure larger suc- 
cess — but not so much as you would have were 
general conditions more settled." 

"You mean the state of the country? Was it 
not horrible for us to have war?" 

"Yes ! and the end is not yet. There will be more 
trouble before there is less." 

Being very eager to have the International Coun- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 57 

£il promote peace, I asked my husband if anything 
could be done through it to promote harmony among 
the nations. 

"Not just now. While so much hate and anger 
exist, nothing can be done. Our people have been 
guilty of great folly and arrogance and have stirred 
up great animosity. Not only in Spain, but in other 
Latin countries hate is aroused. I am very sorry 
for McKinley. He did not wish war. He was 
forced into it, and, being in, can only go on. I am 
very sorry for him." 

In a conversation that held many references to 
the manifestation, i. e., the direct communication 
which my husband had made the previous summer 
through Mrs. B., I asked the following questions : 

"Have you seen Mr. Stead's friend, Julia, since 
the summer?" 

"Oh ! yes, I see her often." 

"Is she still trying to get a Bureau of Communica- 
tion opened between the two planes ?" 

"I think she is." 

"Do you think they will succeed?" 

"I think such a bureau will be established, but not 
quite yet." 

I interrupted, saying, "You mean not a publicly 
acknowledged agency; for private bureaus like this 
must be numerous now ?" 

"Numerous, but not conducted by a definite sys- 
tem as an acknowledged public agency must be. 
Study science, May, study science!" 

At the end of this visit, when the Control came 



58 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

as usual to close the interview, he expressed ai* 
earnest wish that I would "stay by the trumpet a 
little longer" to talk with him. I did so, and in the 
conversation that followed I told him how solicitous 
I was to comply with my husband's oft-repeated 
desire that I should study science. I added, "Ap- 
parently the independent development of the subtle 
powers can come only through the study of natural 
science. How and where shall I begin ?" 

"Why you have begun ; you began some time 
ago ; but, I heard a little girl telling you to-day that 
in her kindergarten the children are studying the 
animal kingdom.* That is what you must do. 
Animal life is the foundation. You must study its 
development." 

"Then, there really are animals on that plane?" 

"Certainly; no life is ever wasted. Everything 
that has life on the Earth Plane has another life on 
this plane." 

Before our conversation closed I thanked the 
control for his aid in securing for me so many 
delightful conversations with my friends during the 
past twenty-four hours. 

With the greatest eagerness, the control replied, 
"Just think what a pleasure it is for us to find some 
one willing to listen to us and to talk with us. How 
many millions are on this plane, and how few com- 



♦This was a direct reference to what my small niece had 
told me in a charming account of her new condition, i. e. t 
the condition into which she had progressed or been prq-> 
moted since our last meeting. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 59 

paratively whose friends recognize them : fewer still 
are they whose friends acknowledge them, even 
when they recognize. It is terrible !" 

This reply recalled what my mother and sister 
repeatedly had told me in reference to the loneliness 
of many new arrivals on that other plane, and what 
my husband and little Annie also had said of the 
disappointment of visitors from that plane who 
vainly try to win the recognition of friends on this. 

Saying, "We shall meet again this year, when it 
is warm and pleasant," the control retired and I 
was left to reflect on the experiences of the most 
interesting New Year's Day I had, up to that date, 
lived through. 

Pondering on its experiences, only a few of which 
are given here, my determination to find out the 
law under the operation of which these experi- 
ences had been enjoyed grew stronger, and the 
injunction, "Study science" seemed always ringing 
in my ears. 

The following propositions present the inferences 
then deduced, as written down at the time. 

First : While every one after passing out of the 
flesh realizes the continuance of life, the vividness 
of the realization varies with different people. 

Second: Although all perceive that life is con- 
tinuous, not all realize that it is sequential. 

Third: Large numbers of people, realizing the 
continuance of love, as well as of life, and finding 
that they possess the power of unfettered movement 
from place to place, often do visit the Earth Plane 



60 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and persistently endeavor to induce in their friends 
a consciousness of their presence. 

Fourth : The majority of those who have passed 
on are, without aid, as unable to reach the friends 
who remain on earth as these are, unaided, to reach 
those who have experienced death; and they suffer 
from inaccessibility of surviving friends as these 
suffer from bereavement. It seems probable, how- 
ever, that their grief is mitigated by their knowl- 
edge. 

Fifth: The deceased can obtain assistance 
through unusually developed excarnates, as we on 
this plane can get help from similarly unusually de- 
veloped humans still incarnate. The two such un- 
usually developed beings serving their respective 
patrons may be compared to the "transmitter" and 
"receiver' ' employed in wireless telegraphy, each 
being in turn both transmitter and receiver. 

The term "control" applied to the assistant on 
the Etheric Plane I think inappropriate, since I do 
not observe that he does in any sense control either 
his patrons on the other side, or myself or my as- 
sistant on this side. I think the name "medium" 
much more indicative of the actual service rendered 
by these assistants on both' sides, but the charla- 
tanism charged against such assistants indiscrim- 
inately by ignorant, prejudiced persons has rendered 
the title "medium" obnoxious. I should like to see 
the term "interpreter" applied to both. 

Sixth: The power of these curiously developed 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 61: 

beings on both sides to serve their respective clients 
seems to be due to their ability to adjust their re- 
spective atmospheres to harmonious vibrations. This 
ability is apparently owing to some property of the 
ether which, I understand, constitutes the atmos- 
phere of the next plane, and I perceive that it 
could not vibrate in harmony with the atmosphere 
of our plane unless the same property entered into 
the latter. I am also certain that this adjustment 
of the two atmospheres would not result in enabling 
the denizens of both planes to communicate unless 
into the constitution of the persons on both planes 
there also entered this same element, whatever it 
may be, which is called ether. 

The formulation of these six propositions from 
my reflections upon observations indisputably made 
when I myself was as normal as I am capable of 
being seemed to me almost like fruits of scientific 
study, and, at least, served to give me definite sub- 
jects of thought. This, to a positive mind like my 
own, which resents the nebulous, was a comfort. 

I had really drawn another inference which I 
could not yet shape into a definite proposition; but 
it seemed pretty clear that life on the next plane is 
systematically progressive, and more carefully or- 
dered even than on this plane, but that each in- 
dividual human's progress is determined by his own 
capacity and especially by his own will. 

However, as I read, reread and pondered the 
contemporary notes of this New Year Day's experi- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 



ence, one suggestion frequently made with equal 
matter-of-courseness and with evidently equal 
credence by people of different ages, of opposite 
temperaments and of evidently various degrees of 
native ability and culture perplexed me sorely. If 
earth life is succeeded by another, that other must 
in the nature of things be the higher — and yet, were 
my friends in that higher life adopting supersti- 
tions that none of them would have entertained 
here for a single moment? They had spoken of 
their own, of one another's and of my "planetary 
conditions," and even of the "planetary conditions 
of our country as a whole," as what I then regarded 
that most obsolete of charlatans, the astrologer, 
might have spoken. I could hardly credit it, but I 
knew it to be a fact. Being confused and puzzled 
by it, I tried to dismiss it from my mind until an 
opportunity should arrive for me to consult my 
husband on this vexing anomaly. 



CHAPTER III 

INTERESTING COMMUNICATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO, 
PRIOR TO DEATH, DID NOT BELIEVE IN SURVIVAL. 
ETHERIC MAGNETISM AND OTHER FORCES 

ON February 19th, 1899, I visited the independ- 
ent slate-writing medium. The arrangements 
and conditions of this interview were identical with 
those already described, except that here the uncur- 
tained window by which we sat commanded an urban 
winter, instead of a rural summer landscape. On six 
slates closely filled with legible writing in different 
hands I received replies to three short notes to my 
husband and one each to my father, my mother, 
Grandfather Weeks and Frances E. Willard. In 
some instances the writing, much more rapid than 
formerly, was audible; in others, not a sound 
reached my ear; but on this occasion I first experi- 
enced a sensation — a sensation difficult to describe 
— which indicates that a writing is finished. Be- 
sides replies from all the persons addressed, I re- 
ceived letters from two others. 

One of these communications, signed by a friend 
whose skepticism regarding individual survival of 

63 



64 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

death had been well-known to me, closed thus : "I 
always rejoice when I can come back and give an 
assurance that all life is eternal and does not stop 
at the material gate. I am going right along, just 
as much myself as ever I was; and independent of 
the cumbersome material body. I have positively 
learned one thing. When I was in the mortal en- 
vironment, not believing in Heaven, I still had it 
in mind that if existing at all, Heaven was a loca- 
tion, and that simply to get into that place would 
secure happiness. I now know that Heaven is not 
a place to which we go, but a condition which comes 
to us. The conditions we are in, that is, our natural 
characters, our aspirations make us variously happy. 
'One man's meat is another man's poison' here as 
on earth. Were Hell a veritable place and Satan 
a real being, would Satan be happy out of Hell? 
Yet — no one else would be happy there." 

The other friend whom I had not addressed 
wrote: "If I ever knew anything at all, I know 
that I am here, myself, and that I see you and that 
life of the spirit and its power to return to earth are 
facts. I had my doubts and my fears about futurity 
when I was in the mortal world — but these are all 
removed by experience." 

On June sixth, en route to New York, whither 
I was going to embark for Southampton, I visited 
a psychic in Buffalo, where I witnessed a new mani- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 65 

festation. This psychic, an artist by profession, re- 
ceived me in her studio. Her attitude was that of 
intent listening. She seemed perfectly normal and 
occasionally interrupted the conversation between 
myself and the invisibles with remarks of her own. 
I can compare this kind of communication only to 
that carried on by the aid of a telephone through 
an intermediary for one either unable or unwilling 
to use the instrument directly. The parallel is im- 
perfect only because in this case intermediary and 
instrument seem one. But, when the medium inter- 
jected remarks, there was just the same evidence 
that she was speaking for herself as there is when 
the telephone operator turns from the instrument, 
ceases to transmit communications and addresses 
one directly. Two interviews, thus conducted, 
lasted five hours; the substance was as follows: 

My husband told me that the control who had 
been speaking to me was a Grecian philosopher of 
much renown in his own time, who had long been 
on the Celestial Plane, but had within the last few 
years been often and much on the Etheric Plane, 
because, being desirous of continuing his profession 
of philosopher and teacher, and being very anxious 
to enlighten the world by explaining the laws gov- 
erning "spirit return/ ' he was seeking an adequate 
transmitter, through whose agency he could com- 
mand the attention of the world. This, it was 
hoped, he had found in this artist, but she was 



66 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

transmitter simply, without any study or knowledge 
of philosophy, and without influence or acquaintance 
with influential people. 

My husband further said that he had brought me 
there to talk with the control in order that if I 
became interested I might get some man who was 
an authority in philosophy, metaphysics and 
psychology to read what the Greek wished to trans- 
mit and decide on the best time and manner of 
bringing it before the world. 

Although I felt very incompetent to ask philo- 
sophic questions and utterly unable to criticize his 
replies, I enjoyed conversing with the control, 
named Hermes. In the midst of our talk it sud- 
denly occurred to me to ask if he knew Doctor 
William T. Harris, our great Hegelian. Hermes 
replied that he knew Doctor Harris, and if I felt 
like reporting this interview to him I might do so; 
but added: "Although Doctor Harris is a very 
kind, very reasonable and very wise man, and al- 
though he has long known this truth, he is not yet 
ready to acknowledge it." 

When I asked Hermes just what he meant by 
"this truth," he said he meant "personal immor- 
tality, the existence of progressive spheres of life 
on the Etheric and Celestial Planes, their relation 
to corresponding spheres on the Earth Plane, and 
the power of the nominally dead to return to earth 
life." 

My husband advised me to defer placing this 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 67 

matter before Doctor Harris, saying that it might 
"in time come about naturally and in a way which 
would not expose my own interest or relation to 
the matter so clearly as would be inevitable at this 
time." 

Here for the first time I heard of what my hus- 
band called my "band," which he said was slowly 
forming; that it was yet too soon for me to know 
who composed it; but, he assured me that my own 
growing susceptibility was due in almost equal 
measure to my own efforts and to the "band's" aid. 
He added that my "band" had been much interested 
in the work for peace* that I had recently done. I 
was startled by this reference to my work, for the 
subject ordinarily so dear to me had been quite 
excluded from my mind by the absorbing nature of 
the day's experience; but I expressed an ardent 
wish to aid in creating a public sentiment which 
would make impossible such wars as were being 
waged in the Philippines. The reply was: "Our 
country and the whole world will have much to 
suffer before this comes about." 

During this interview it was that my husband 
gave me my first lesson in concentration. During 
the afternoon I was frequently almost overcome 
by a peculiar drowsiness, quite new to me. As I then 



*This was the year in which the First Peace Conference 
had been convened at The Hague, and I had organized a 
demonstration under National Council auspices which had 
convened several hundred meetings, simultaneously in all 
parts of our country. 



68 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

knew of no drowsiness except that whose synonym 
is sleepiness, and as I had never before within my 
memory either slept or felt sleepy in the daytime, I 
was both astonished and annoyed. 

Expressing my perplexity, I was told that the 
feeling was induced by currents of etheric mag«* 
netism, and I was also instructed how to relieve 
myself of its pressure. 

It will be observed that this experience yielded 
five distinct additions to my former perceptions : 

First : A quite new method of communication. 

Second : A new, very important and interesting 
personality. 

Third : A definite advanced lesson in concentra- 
tion. 

Fourth : A definite name, etheric magnetism, for 
that vital element of the atmosphere of the Etheric 
Plane which I had recognized in its function and 
influence in former interviews, and 

Fifth : I had been brought into the knowledge of 
a "band" of workers on the Etheric Plane, said to 
be devoted to my service. 

On arriving in London, my first care was to 
Communicate with Mrs. B., with v/hom I secured 
an engagement for July sixth. 

The room, its furnishings and the preparations 
for the interview were those described on previous 
pages. 

Saying that the conditions seemed to her very 
good, Mrs. B. became entranced almost instantly. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 69 

Vigo greeted me; showed much pleasure in my 
return, apologized for her failure to keep her prom- 
ise to help me, and expressed the hope that in future 
she should be able to retain her connection with 
my "band," which she assured me was the sole con- 
dition of her helping me at all, except when I was 
present physically with Mrs. B. 

Upon assuming Mrs. B.'s organism, Vigo said, 
"I seem to see a building being constructed, under 
your direction. I should say it is for education, yet 
it does not seem altogether like a school. Is it not 
true that you are interested in the construction of 
some building at this time?" 

I assented, but without explanation, for an addi- 
tion to the Girls' Classical School was being put 
up, and although it was "for education," it was "not 
altogether like a school," for it was being built to 
shelter the new department of "Household Science," 
and one of its chief features was a model kitchen. 
Vigo apologized for postponing Mr. Sewall's ar- 
rival by assuring me that it was a part of her office 
"to adjust atmospheres," which "sometimes is a 
long process, especially when, as to-day, many are 
to use this organism successively." 

Mr. Sewall used Mrs. B.'s organism with much 
greater ease than on the former occasion. He con- 
firmed the validity of the communication that had 
just been made to me, to which he had listened 
while awaiting his turn at the instrument. Then 
followed the most remarkable conversation with my 



;o NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

husband that since his first return I had up to that 
date enjoyed; but much of it was personal and re- 
lated to many people whom I do not feel at liberty 
to involve in this narrative, and of whose existence 
I feel sure Mrs. B. could have had no knowledge. 
I may, however, say that these very features of the 
interview afforded me as time went by a new proof 
of its validity and a new measure of the keener 
perceptions secured by the conditions of the Etheric 
Plane. 

During the strenuous weeks of that summer I 
had repeatedly experienced quite novel sensations, 
which I could describe only as being like currents 
of electricity coursing through my veins. I now 
asked my husband to explain to me the source and 
the purpose of such sensations. 

His reply was: "You have been working very 
hard and I have tried to revive you from the Etheric 
Plane, where the atmosphere is charged with 
vitality. I have known that you have felt the influx 
of strength, but I have not known whether you yet 
were realizing its source." 

I explained my inability to keep my appointments 
with him regularly either on shipboard or since my 
arrival in London, but said I had tried to talk with 
him every night. 

His reply was : "Yes ! I know it. I always hear 
you when you speak; but I now often understand 
you better when you do not speak, for when you 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 71 

speak aloud, the vibrations are so strong as to be 
almost painful." 

I further complained that, although with more 
or less regularity I had "sat passively for writing 
during the past year," I had not achieved it ; but he 
assured me that my development had begun and 
that I should get writing. He further expressed 
the conviction that the effect of the interviews which 
I was to have with denizens of the Ether ic and the 
Celestial Planes would quicken my development 
after I was at home again, and he gave me the fol- 
lowing directions as an aid : 

"At night, when you go to bed, place a glass of 
water on the little table by your bed. I shall use 
it to help me in the demonstrations of my presence. 
In the morning do not throw the water away, but 
pour it around the roots of some plant or put it in 
a vase of cut flowers. It will make plants grow and 
will keep cut flowers from withering, because it 
will be charged with etheric magnetism."* 



*I followed this direction and I have kept flowers in water 
thus charged with etheric magnetism for three and even four 
weeks, which, with the same care in all other respects, I have 
never been able to keep more than ten days or rarely two 
weeks. By applying such water to their roots I have also been 
able to keep maidenhair fern and other delicate table ferns 
proportionately as much longer than with the same care in all 
other respects they could bear the dry hot air of my dining- 
room. 



72 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Vigo explained that Mrs. B.'s inability to remain 
longer away from her tenement was due to the fact 
that "the anxiety caused by her husband's illness 
has diminished her psychic force," but promised that 
both of them would try to have the conditions more 
perfect for my next interview, which was set for 
July eighteenth. Vigo retired: Mrs. B. reap- 
peared in a perfectly normal state, and when I asked 
if she knew whom my visitors had been, she an- 
swered in the negative, explaining that when she was 
in what was termed her "entranced state," she was 
apparently "quite absent" and knew nothing of what 
went on — but that on her return she usually "sensed 
conditions" as having been "harmonious or other- 
wise." 

On Thursday, July eighteenth, Mrs. B. was al- 
most instantly entranced, and Vigo, while prepar- 
ing the organism for its temporary occupant, said 
that she expected a satisfactory interview for me; 
for she explained that, although Mrs. B. was much 
overworked, the conditions which they had together 
"worked hard to make favorable" seemed to be so. 

She hurriedly added : "Here comes Mr. Sewall, 
and I shall give him possession. I shall do all I 
can to give him strength." 

Mr. Sewall easily took control of the organism 
and through it spoke to me at length, but chiefly on 
quite personal matters. Finally he warned me that 
the "force" which enabled him to use this instru- 
ment was growing weak and he asked me to remain 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 73 

that he might continue the conversation by aid of 
Vigo, who would speak for him. He added that, 
in this atmosphere, he should hear and understand 
every word that I might say. Vigo came and, 
through her, the interview was prolonged by half 
an hour. At its end, upon my husband's with- 
drawal, she repeated the information that had been 
imparted at the end of the last previous interview 
in a slightly different form, and with this addition : 
"You know, Mr. Sewall is a very advanced soul. 

He belongs to the type; indeed, he is 

really the last in this direct line. You are not of 
this type, but you are related to it, and this is why 
your union is so close and why your husband can 
help you so much. The end of this type and of this 
cycle approaches." 

Vigo left the organism, and co-instantly, one 
might say, Mrs. B. sat there in normal conscious- 
ness. Her first remark was charged with new in- 
timations of knowledge. She said, "You must have 
had a very beautiful interview, for the room is still 
full of rare, colored ethers, and your own aura is 
distinctly visible." 

I exclaimed, "Do you mean to say, Mrs. B., that 
you see color in the air here, now ?" 

"Yes ! It is full of — color. I have been 

told, I do not know, but I have been told that this 

color indicates and identifies the type and 

that it emanates only from persons belonging to 



74 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

that line. I often see colors, but this is the second 
time in my life that I have seen this." 

I told Mrs. B. the date of my departure for 
America, and she said she would try to secure some 
message from Mr. Sewall to meet me at the boat 
when I should embark for New York. 

When the tender was taking- me out from the 
harbor of Southampton to board the Bremen, among 
the letters I received were two from my husband 
enclosed in a brief note from Mrs. B., explaining 
that one of the enclosures had been dictated directly 
to her by Mr. Sewall, and that the other had been 
given to her by Vigo, speaking for him. 

The first was wholly personal and gave me some 
late news from home, which, on my arrival there, 
bore the test of a comparison of dates and incidents. 

The second was longer, and contained two para- 
graphs which seemed to give further hints of how 
to "study science." 

"Mr. Sewall wishes me to say that the chord of 
communication between himself and his wife is 
strengthening; that she will hear a sound like the 
chirping of a nestling in her ear ; this sound he will 
make to denote his presence; when she hears the 
little twittering, she is to place her hand on her 
forehead and try to understand, for this is the code 
by which he will communicate. 

"Mr. Sewall says that the use of such codes will 
become general by bringing forward the possibilities 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 75 

of the human brain. He says there are certain 
organs in the brain which the surgeons have not yet 
discovered, and this fact will be demonstrated to 
his wife during the next year," 

This was done. 

From New York I proceeded to Lily Dale, 
anxious to celebrate the second anniversary of my 
first psychic experience where it had occurred. As 
soon as I was seated with the trumpet, the control's 
strong voice rang out in hearty greeting: "Well, 
Mrs. Sewall, how do you do ? I am glad to see you 
so soon again; I expected to see you this summer, 
but I was not sure just when it would be." Thus 
was I reminded of the control's assurance that we 
should "meet in the warm weather." 

My husband at once referred to some of my ex- 
periences in England that had occurred after our 
late interview, and of which I had not communicated 
a word to any one, and he gave an interpretation 
quite opposite to that which I had placed on them, 
which at the time I could not credit, but which sub- 
sequent events sustained. 

My mother explained the disappointing failure of 
my father to talk with me by saying that he was 
with my brother, who was not well, and my father 
"felt constrained to go to him and try to help him."* 

*** — * — — , the relative before referred to, came 

*Two days later a letter came telling me of my brother's 
illness. 



76 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and eagerly thanked me for the help I had given 
him, and when I expressed my surprise, he re- 
proached me with undervaluing my help,* saying 
that he experienced great benefit from it. 

When I called on Mr. J. C. W., he received me 
in his normal state, but presently said, "Perhaps 
you remember that I am dependent on John Shaw 
to put me in a trance state, in which my organism 
is either occupied or controlled by George Rushton. 
"John," added Mr. W., "is a rough fellow without 
cultivation, but with a good heart and willingly does 
his part in this service." 

Mr. W. then experienced the usual convulsion, 
and "John Shaw," as different a personality from 
Mr. W. as one can well imagine, in a half -banter- 
ing way said a few words preparatory to the arrival 
of George Rushton. There was a marked differ- 
ence in the countenance, the attitude and the entire 
bearing of Mr. W. the instant that Rushton took 
possession of his organism. 

The impression produced on my mind was exactly 
that which would be occasioned were a jolly, 
heavy peasant to withdraw from the room and a 
graceful, courteous, dignified, cultured gentleman 
enter it and occupy the chair just vacated by the 
peasant. 

A conversation of more than an hour followed, 

*I had followed the directions of my sister and frequently 
had asserted my affection for him but not till he reminded me 
of this fact did I recall it. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 77 

in which I tried to get from Mr. Rushton a clearer 
understanding of the injunction to "study science." 
I say from Mr. Rushton, because my friends did 
not approach me through his agency, and apparently 
he expressed only his own views. 

By Mr. Rushton, and also later by Hermes, La- 
monti and my husband, in long conversations con- 
ducted through the artist by her peculiar method 
(already described), I was told that it is through 
the mediation of the magnetisms which pervade the 
etheric and the physical atmospheres that the 
mediums — those whom I think may better be called 
the interpreters of the two planes — are rendered in- 
telligible to each other. This quite new fact I also 
learned, viz. : that the generation of etheric mag- 
netism is the special and sole function of many 
people on the Etheric Plane who, though unlearned 
and mentally undeveloped when they passed to that 
plane, have vigorous, kindly and sympathetic 
natures and are moved by the instinct of helpful- 
ness. 

It was at this time that my husband's appeals 
to "study science" were first clearly understood by 
me to indicate his desire that I should study this 
subject; that is, the relation between planes of con- 
scious human life, scientifically. These injunctions 
were now confirmed with the most emphatic depre- 
cation of connecting any superstitious or religious 
feeling with my experiences, and I was earnestly 



78 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

assured that there is no such thing as "supernatural' ' 
phenomena or experience. 

With these instructions my own opinions and 
habits of thought were perfectly harmonious. I 
had long been accustomed to discriminating between 
the supernatural and the super-comprehended. 

As my own knowledge of the reality of phe- 
nomena, and the reliability of experience increased, 
my husband's cautions to maintain secrecy also in- 
creased, and at this time he told me that thus far 
I had been brought into contact with no interpreter 
on the Earth Plane whose introduction to me had 
not been secured and pre-arranged by himself. 

He also told me that as the knowledge of "new 
open doors" between planes spreads in the etheric 
realm, the desire to return to earth by every such 
new door increases, and that herein is the only 
danger connected with this investigation. At the 
same time he emphatically declared that the danger 
of undiscriminating or promiscuous association with 
those on the other side could hardly be exaggerated ; 
he promised that he would protect me against in- 
trusion, and I, in accordance with his request, prom- 
ised to continue the strictest observance of the rule 
long ago laid down, never to receive a visit from 
that side, or to consult an interpreter on this, not 
introduced by himself. 

As the reader can hardly fail to perceive the 
progress made or indicated in these interviews, I 
regard a formal summary as superfluous. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 79 

On September twenty-seventh I received a note 
signed by an unknown name. The writer said he 
was to be in Indianapolis for a month and, believ- 
ing that we might have some common interests, de- 
sired to call. I named a convenient hour and re- 
ceived a visitor whose bearing and conversation were 
those of an intelligent, cultivated gentleman. 

I learned that my guest had been a Unitarian 
clergyman; that early in his ministerial career he 
had become interested in the investigation of the 
claims of modern spiritualism; that this had re- 
sulted in the conviction that it was his duty to re- 
place the inculcation of faith by the more cogent 
arguments derived from direct personal knowledge ; 
that, to do this, he had resigned his pastorate and 
that his studies had developed his psychic powers 
beyond those of the average professional. Mr. G. 
said that he had been "influenced from the Etheric 
Plane" to seek my acquaintance, and the validity of 
his impression was confirmed by the fact that in his 
presence I experienced a marked increase of those 
sensations already described which I had come to 
associate with my husband's presence. 

Of what Mr. G. communicated to me I shall men- 
tion only two items, both of which he called "tests." 
One of them reproduced an incident of the past 
summer which I was certain was known to no one 
in earth life but myself, and which was revealed to 
Mr. G. by my husband, whose knowledge of it 
could only be explained on the theory that he had 



80 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

been, as he asserted, an invisible witness of the 
incident. 

The other was an automatic letter dictated by 
my husband, who assured me that I should go 
abroad the following summer, and that I should 
have an important work to do in Paris. I protested 
that this was impossible, because, were all other 
conditions favorable, means were wanting. My hus- 
band assured me that I would find myself unpre- 
pared to do important work that it was my privilege 
to do unless through the winter I should direct all 
my efforts in Council work on the assumption that 
I was to spend the summer in Paris. My husband 
assured me that plans for this were being made on 
the Etheric Plane, which would later be presented 
for my approval and execution; and that he had 
taken this means of reaching me and had revealed 
his knowledge of a recent past experience in order 
to receive my credence for something to be com- 
municated later. 

Mr. G. gave me a note of introduction to a lady* 
of whom I had never heard, saying that he felt 
himself moved to give it in the same way that he 
had felt moved to seek my acquaintance, and that 
while he had received nothing from any source 
that one would call a communication and had noth- 
ing but his "feelings" to rely upon, he believed this 



*Miss Bangs, of Chicago. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING Si 

introduction was "impulsed" and would lead to a 
significant experience.* 

The week following those incidents, accompanied 
by a teacher in the Shortridge High School of In- 
dianapolis, I went to Chicago to attend the annual 
meeting of The Association of Collegiate Alumnae. 
We stopped at the Grand Pacific Hotel. 

The second day after my arrival I separated my- 
self from my friend, and presenting the letter of 
introduction furnished by Mr. G. arranged for a 
professional interview with its recipient at four 
thirty p. m. the next day. When the hour arrived 
rain was falling heavily and the wind was violent. 
Miss B. said that the conditions were unfavorable. 
To my inquiry how the storm could affect the con- 
ditions, her reply was that she did not know how, 
but that as a fact "the electrical conditions of the 
atmosphere do modify the vibrations, and they say 
everything depends on vibrations." In assertions 
of fact, Miss B. was as positive as other psychics 
I had questioned, apparently more vague in ex- 
planation, and even more ignorant of the causes of 
phenomena. She said she had always from her 
childhood "been accompanied by phenomena," but 
that of its causes she knew nothing; had never 
thought about cause; it did not interest her. I 
gained no new knowledge of principles, but I added 



♦This experience is related farther on. 



82 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

two new facts to my accumulation of material for 
reflection. For the first time I received "independ- 
ent writing on paper," and also carried on a long 
coherent, satisfactory conversation by means of a 
"private telegraphic code.'' As this was my first 
experience of them I shall describe both processes. 

Miss B. and myself sat on opposite sides of a 
small table which with our two chairs, a carpet, a 
few framed photographs on the wall, and a few 
trifles on the mantel above a small fireplace, con- 
stituted the sole furniture of a small back parlor. 
I think its dimensions were not more than eight 
by ten. On top of the table were two slates and 
a bottle of ink. 

As the process mentioned last was the first em- 
ployed I describe it first. I propounded questions 
to my husband exactly as if he had been present in 
the flesh, and his replies were made as if by tele- 
graph; the tick, tick, coming to the ear exactly as 
if clicked on the machine at a telegraphic office, 
was read by Miss B. as an arriving telegram would 
be read by a telegraph operator. The answers and 
comments, like my questions, pertained to subjects, 
persons, places and events which in the nature o£ 
things must have been utterly unknown to the op- 
erator; but there was not an instant's hesitation nor 
was there an irrelevant word ; and, as events proved, 
where the conduct of persons in relation to matters 
not yet matured was involved there was not one 
mistaken opinion uttered. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 83 

My husband told me that he had never before 
used this method of communication, but reminded 
me that this was what he was trying to awaken my 
auditory nerves to by the tapping in my ears, and 
expressed the hope that this experience would help 
us both "in perfecting our private code, as this 
would be the quickest, most accurate and least ob- 
trusive external method" by which he could reach 
me. 

I next wrote a letter containing numerous ques-» 
tions, folded it with several sheets of blank paper 
and sealed it in an envelope addressed to my hus- 
band. Having washed off two slates, I placed the 
sealed letter between them, tied them fast with my 
own handkerchief, and held them firmly in my 
hands. Miss B. then dropped some ordinary black 
ink on a small bit'of ordinary blotting paper, and 
placed it on the upper surface of the top slate, I 
holding the slates firmly all the time, and I alone 
touching them. In a few minutes Miss B. said that 
my letter was answered. I thereupon untied the 
slates and on opening the envelope found that the 
paper which I had put in blank was covered with 
clear script in black ink in a writing resembling but 
not duplicating that of my husband. There were 
six pages, which when read proved to be an orderly, 
coherent, categorical reply to my letter. The an- 
swers were numbered to correspond with numbered 
questions. I was too astonished to have any wish 
but to withdraw to reread this novel communication. 



X 



84 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 



As I expressed this feeling and rose to go the 
click of telegraphy began and Miss B., interpreting 
it, said : "Your husband wishes to know if you have 
not some other desire.' ' I replied that I was always 
wishing for the long-ago promised portrait of him- 
self and wished that in some way he could contrive 
to give it to me for our anniversary, or at least for 
my next Christmas gift. 

His reply was : "I'll give it to you at once." 

Miss B. asked if it were possible for me to have 
another sitting with her before I should go home. 

Regretfully I explained that I was obliged to re- 
turn to Indianapolis on the next day. 

"Click ! Click !" louder and more determined than 
any of the previous sounds, and Miss B. said : "Your 
husband wishes me to give you the portrait to- 
night," but added: "That is impossible, I have 
worked all day and am very tired ; besides my por- 
traits are painted by daylight. It is impossible to 
do such work after dark, and it is dark now." 

There was loud, rapid, telegraphic remonstrance, 
and Miss B. interpreted the eager ticks of the in- 
visible instrument thus: "Your husband insists that 
the conditions are favorable, that he wishes to sit 
for his portrait this evening; that he will tell us 
both exactly what to do, and that if we obey, he is 
certain of results." 

Telegraphically, as before described, I received 
directions, which, as I obeyed them to the letter, may 
be inferred from the following recital. 

From my hand-bag I removed a photograph case 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 85 

containing two photographs of my husband, and 
placed it closed and clasped between the two slates 
already mentioned; tied them fast with my hand- 
kerchief and wrapped them in heavy paper sup- 
plied me from another room by Miss B.* Then I 
returned to my hotel, placed the parcel tied as it 
was in my trunk and left it there until after dinner ; 
when I unfastened the slates, removed the enclosure 
and left it, (that is, the photograph case with the 
photographs) in my trunk. Wrapping the slates in 
the paper, I tied them fast and with them returned 
to the residence of Miss B., where I had been prom- 
ised that if all the conditions were obeyed, the por- 
trait should be painted that very evening. 

At half past eight o'clock that evening I was re- 
entering the room already described, with the 
empty slates wrapped and tied in my hand. 

The aspect of the room was exactly as described 
on page 82, except that now resting on the floor 



*I think this is a good place to narrate a trifling incident of 
the conversation which took place when the instructions, com- 
plied with as above described, were given. Tick! Tick! and 
Miss B. reported in a surprised and irritated tone that my 
husband promised to give me his miniature also at some 
future time. The psychic through whose instrumentality a 
portrait had just been promised evidently resented the promise 
of a miniature ; she had "never heard of such a thing as get- 
ting a miniature of some one on the other side" and said, 
"The proposal is absurd." But the click, click, interrupted 
her protest, and saying, "Well, it's very strange, but he insists," 
she apparently yielded the point as possible, saying, "I have 
found that they always know what they want, and that they 
never promise anything without finding a way of making the 
promise good." I was eager to have the time for my receiving 
the miniature fixed at once, but my husband said that he 
could not do this, but I might depend on getting it sometime. 



86 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and leaning against the wall, there were a dozen or 
two stretched canvases apparently ready for the 
easel. These varied in size from the "quarter" 
usually chosen for a head, to the "eighteen by 
twenty-four inch,' , generally used for life-size bust 
portraits. Except the articles already named noth- 
ing else was visible in the room. My senses all 
seemed sharpened to their keenest as I examined 
every detail. I opened each of the three doors— - 
one led from the entrance hall through which I had 
just passed ; one from the parlor in which I had been 
first received at my afternoon visit and the third 
from an adjacent sitting-room. The room had but 
one window ; this was screened by an ordinary green 
shade and an equally ordinary lace curtain; the 
only light was from a single gas-jet in a wall 
bracket in one corner of the room. 

Miss B. met me cordially and said that, although 
she had never been instrumental in producing and 
had never seen produced what she called "a spirit 
portrait" by artificial light, she had received from 
her guides such cheerful and pleasant impressions 
of success that she believed a great pleasure was in 
store for me. 

I asked what was to be done and was told that 
the first step was for me to select a canvas from 
among those resting on the floor. I was urged to 
look them all over carefully and take the size pre- 
ferred. As I turned over those blank white can- 
vases, holding each in turn against and under the 
light, hope failed; no paint, no brushes> no artist 



neither; dead nor sleeping 87 

in the room; how was it possible to obtain a por- 
trait of any one ? How, indeed, of an invisible sub- 
ject who, if present, belonged to another plane of 
life? 

At that moment I was almost overcome by doubt 
and the fear of disappointment; however, I finished 
my examination of the canvases by choosing one 
suitable to receive a bust life size, and awaited fur- 
ther instructions. 

Following Miss B.'s directions, I placed the can- 
vas on top of the two heavy slates tied together by 
my own handkerchief as I had brought them from 
the hotel, and seated myself in one of the two chairs, 
Miss B. occupying the chair opposite. I then placed 
my hands on the upper surface of one end of the 
canvas, while she, placing her hands similarly on 
the other remarked that this would assist in mag- 
netizing the canvas. In a few moments she said, "I 
think it is ready now;" and in reply to my query, 
"What next?" she said, "I've always held canvases 
when I was working for a picture in front of a 
window. I suppose this must be held in front of 
the gas-light." We pushed the table toward the 
light and, holding the canvas before the gas-light 
with both hands, I waited. Presently Miss B. said 
that it would tire me to hold it alone and that if 
I would simply hold it by one side she would hold 
it by the other; she added that I looked tired, that 
my "magnetism was being drawn on too strongly." 
I was not conscious of any fatigue; but I was 
startled, for already I had seen an outline of nr# 



88 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

husband's face and form shaping* itself on the can- 
vas on which my eyes had been fixed from the 
first moment of my taking it in my hands. I could 
hardly credit my vision, but the outline grew more 
distinct; color was added to form; it assumed 
an aspect of warm life and seemed to smile. The 
psychic called her sister to come to help us. The 
•lady came, but saying, "There is power enough 
here without me," withdrew in an instant. I con- 
tinued to hold the canvas by one side, Miss B. by 
the other, while the portrait continued to perfect 
itself before my eyes. 

Presently, I realized it to be finished and taking 
it wholly in my own hands examined it as closely 
as possible. It was a beautiful portrait, a perfect 
replica of my husband's features and coloring, deli- 
cate and refined, but vigorous and wearing the 
aspect of perfect health. Consulting my watch I 
found that less than a half-hour had passed since I 
selected the canvas. 

Miss B. said that it was the most rapid work she 
had ever witnessed, and added, "The conditions 
have been extraordinarily harmonious." 

I asked, "But who painted it?" 

The reply was, "I do not know. You'll have 
to ask the subject or some one else who was pres- 
ent from the other side." 

I asked the portrait — if it were not by Raphael, 
as to my eyes it had the tone and coloring associated 
with the Italian master's work. As quick as thought 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 89 

the invisible telegraph began to click ! Miss B. in- 
terpreted : "Not by the great Master, but by a pupil 
of Raphael." 

I then had a short sitting for communication and 
my husband expressed great pleasure in my satis- 
faction with the portrait. 

My next perplexity was what to do with my new 
treasure. I could not take it to my room at the 
hotel without attracting the notice of my friend; 
moreover the trunk I had with me was too small 
to receive it. 

Miss B. assured me that she would pack it and 
send it by express on Monday. (This was Satur- 
day night.) She said she was constantly sending 
portraits to all parts of the country, but repeated 
that she had never before painted one at night. I 
disliked to be separated from my new possession, 
but as in almost every interview with my husband I 
had been urged to secrecy, and as I could think of 
no other way to secure it, I returned to my hotel, 
reaching it after less than an hour's absence. 

Had the canvas never reached me, or had it 
been blank when it arrived, I believe my surprise 
would have been far less than it was when on 
opening the parcel delivered by the express com- 
pany on Tuesday morning I found the canvas per- 
fect as a portrait and beautiful as a picture, but 
with an indescribable intangible expression of life, 
distinguishing it from every other portrait I had 
up to that time seen. 



go NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

From an entry in my diary made fourteen months 
after this incident I quote the following : "The por- 
trait hangs over the mantel in my bedroom; for 
the first few weeks I used to run down from my 
work* at intervals daily to take a look at it to make 
sure that it had not vanished by a process as mys- 
terious as that by which it had been produced, but 
it stays, it is a delicate glorious piece of work. I 
have shown it to no one, but the room where it 
hangs is sometimes used as a dressing-room, where 
at receptions my friends remove their wraps, and 
a number of them have commented on the portrait, 
asking where I had it done and by whom. I al- 
ways say that it was the gift of a friend. Most 
who mention it speak with warm admiration, but 
some of the closest observers say, Tt is a beautiful 
portrait and very lifelike, but there is something 
peculiar in the expression.' I know that these 
words are an unconscious recognition of that sub- 
tle indescribable something which attaches to it 
and distinguishes it from paintings produced by 
ordinary methods; there is something peculiar 
about it, for at times, under my gaze, its expression 
changes even to a living smile. I know this is not 
a fancy. From the first hour of my conviction that 
it would stay, it has been a complete cure for my 
insistent incredulity." 

After the incident of the portrait I maintained 



♦In the Girls' Classical School. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 91 

an irregular correspondence with my husband 
through Miss B. I placed with my own letter to 
him several sheets of blank paper for his reply in 
an envelope addressed to myself and so sealed that 
it would be impossible for one to open the envelope 
without leaving marks of tampering. This envelope 
I enclosed in another addressed to Miss B. In due 
time my letter was always returned with intelligent 
characteristic replies germane to the subjects 
broached by me, which usually pertained to matters 
quite personal of which no one else could be cog- 
nizant. 

Getting the portrait was a great mental experience 
to me. The process afforded material for scientific 
study. 

In November of this year (1899) being in Chi- 
cago on business, I visited the psychic already sev- 
eral times referred to, taking with me a letter from 
my nephew, Mr. Max Goethe Wright, then visiting 
me, to whom I had confided some of my unusual 
experiences. 

This nephew, a young man of fine intellect and 
generous nature, who on account of tuberculosis of 
the lungs had been obliged to give up his work as 
assistant in the Romance Languages Department 
of Leland Stanford Jr. University, was steeped in 
modern scientific materialism and at this time quite 
bound by the spell of Haeckel. I knew that those 
who had already experienced the transition which 
he was. rapidly approaching were eager to have him 



92 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

know the fact of continued existence before that 
crisis should arrive.* 

He, therefore, incredulous of any response, at my 
request, wrote a letter whose contents were quite 
unknown to me, added some blank sheets of paper, 
sealed it with unusual precaution in a way which he 
was sure would betray the slightest tampering and 
gave it to me to send as I had already sent similarly 
prepared letters of my own. This letter, however, 
I kept in my hand-bag which was retained on my 
arm during a conversation with my husband, whose 
part in it was maintained apparently through the 
use of what I have called the telegraphic code. 

During this conversation there occurred two sin- 
gular incidents. 

Between one of my oral questions and the reply 
there was heard a very loud, heavy, labored breath- 
ing. This, startling to me, and apparently so to 
the psychic, continued some minutes. Then came, 
to my question about it, the reply that this fore- 
shadowed the inevitable end ; that I should be in the 
room when I should hear my nephew breathe thus, 
and that I should then know that the end was at 
hand, but I should not witness it.** 



*It is the assumption of all my friends and teachers on 
other planes and the direct instruction of many of them, that 
knowledge of certain fundamental facts prior to death will 
facilitate one's progress as well as enhance one's happiness 
after it. 

**This singularly happened. When advised by his father 
that the young man's end was near I made with his sister a 
hurried journey from Indianapolis to Grand Rapids, Mich., 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 93 

Again there was clicked off as information, not 
as a reply to any question of mine : "You are ex- 
pecting that Max* will leave Indianapolis before 
you return, but he will not." 

The first part of the sentence accorded with my 
nephew's plans and I said, "Well, then, if he does 
not leave the city, he will be at his sister's." 

"No ! You will find when you reach home that he 
has left his sister's but is still in the city, although 
neither at your house nor hers." 

This seemed unlikely to me, for my nephew had 
never lived in Indianapolis; had visited only in the 
house of his sister and in my own, and I regarded 
it as improbable that he should stay in the city else- 
where. 

In spite of all past experiences I was incredulous. 
But on my return I found that facts exactly as de- 
scribed had been induced by a sudden and unexpect- 
ed change in conditions which resulted in plans 
thought of by no one when I went to Chicago. 

When the letter referred to above, which unknown 
to me was addressed to his mother, came back to 
him he reluctantly admitted that he could discover 



hoping for some hours of conversation with, or of service to, 
this dear relative. After our arrival he was unable to give 
any but half certain signs of consciousness. My own duties 
were such that I was obliged to return home before the end 
came — but I heard the loud heavy, labored breathing, which 
seemed the replica of what I had heard in that small back 
room in Chicago. It indeed indicated that the end which I 
could not stay to witness was at hand. 

*This name had never before been mentioned in the psy- 
chic's presence. 



94 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

no evidence of tampering; that he was sure it had 
not been opened since it had left his hands; and 
that the blank pages which he had enclosed with his 
letter were covered by coherent, sequential replies 
to his questions. 






CHAPTER IV 

HUSBAND ETHEREALIZES, 
MOTHER TELLS OF HER HOME IN OTHER 
WORLD. REAL MANSIONS 

THE YEAR 1900 was crowded with work on 
the External Plane; professional and domes- 
tic labors filling every hour of a working day which, 
beginning at seven- thirty A. M., lasted until ten 
p. M. 

Time thus doubly filled left no margin for silence, 
for concentration, and for that regular and definite 
study of science which I longed for and which in 
spite of adverse conditions I resolved to pursue. 
This resolution, firmly taken, coveted interviews with 
the physically absent came with increasing fre- 
quency and at most unexpected times and places 
by hitherto unheard-of agencies and methods. 

On January eighth the artist living in Buffalo, 
already referred to, came to visit me, and instead of 
the "few days" which had been planned, she re- 
mained with me three months. 

Many interesting incidents, two of which seem 
germane to the purpose of this book, marked this 
visit; of these the first will carry the reader back 
to a reference in a former chapter, to Doctor 

95 



96 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

William T. Harris, then United States Commis- 
sion of Education. 

To assist at the celebration of Miss Susan B. 
Anthony's eightieth birthday, which fell on Febru- 
ary 15th, 1900, I went to Washington. I took with 
me some manuscripts which my guest had just writ- 
ten (essays which she believed to have been dic- 
tated to her by an ancient Greek sage) to submit 
to Doctor Harris for his opinion of their value. I 
not only revered Doctor Harris for his great knowl- 
edge and his acumen as a philosopher, but as a per- 
sonal friend* and as a frequent visitor in our house 
whose unfailing kindness in directing my private 
studies I had enjoyed for nearly a quarter of a cen- 
tury, I regarded him with grateful affection. 

I asked, and immediately received, his attention 
to the manuscripts, without saying one word about 
their authorship. His verdict was that they held 
"internal evidence of having been produced by hyp- 
notic influence." 

After receiving this judgment I made a full state- 
ment of the process used by the writer and of her 
belief concerning their source. 

Doctor Harris said he felt it "more probable that 
the writer was sensitive to impressions to a degree 



*Between the years 1876, when I first met him, and 1900, 
Doctor Harris had made us a score of visits and in our own 
and other drawing-rooms had delivered under my manage- 
ment fourteen courses of lectures on philosophy and the 
philosophic interpretation of the arts. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 97 

which would enable her to write these discussions 
under a roof whose walls have heard so much philo- 
sophical discourse." I felt this view quite as extra- 
ordinary and as incredible as the artist's and said 
so. Doctor Harris's reply was that thirty years be- 
fore he had investigated what was then called "spirit- 
ualistic phenomena" pretty thoroughly; had wit- 
nessed much that was quite inexplicable, but had 
abandoned it as at that time fruitless of helpful re- 
sults. 

The second episode referred to enriched my life 
by a new friendship. 

About the first of March, I received a letter by 
which the writer introduced herself as a young wom- 
an desiring to get a place on the stage; she wrote 
that she had received a letter from an actress long 
since dead directing her to ask me to introduce her 
to the public At first I could not recall the name 
signed to this strange epistle, but finally remembered 
having heard it in connection with an actress of 
Shakespearian roles whom I had never seen. 

In reply I explained my inability to do what she 
wished; but there followed a correspondence which 
resulted in my inviting Miss G. to make me a week's 
visit. During this visit she gave a dramatic recital 
in my drawing-room which was witnessed by over 
two hundred guests chosen from my friends as 
those most interested in the dramatic art, most 
familiar with the theater and therefore best quali- 



98 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

fied to judge her work. With no stage accessories 
this remarkable woman recited successively the cli- 
maxes of five great dramas, producing upon her 
auditors an amazing effect. 

During the week of this great actress's visit no 
reference was made by either of us to the curious 
authority which she had quoted in the letters by 
which she had introduced herself, but on next to the 
last evening before her departure, asking if I would 
go with her to the library, she there told me that 
she had been directed by her friends "to have a sit- 
ting" with me, and referring to the letter from the 
deceased actress* through which she had been di- 
rected to come to me, she confessed it had been 
received through her own hand and told me of her 
psychic development, which I then saw manifested 
on a truly great scale. 

The only examples of "automatic writing" I had 
hitherto seen were those given by Mr. Stead and 
by Mr. G. as described in early chapters. 

Miss G. that night wrote many pages which, as 
they followed one after another from her tireless 
hand, were found to bear the signatures of a large 
number of playwrights and actors covering the; 
period since and including Shakespeare's tinie^'Each 
seemed in perfect keeping with the .character and 
the period of the writer. She^also wrote for my 



♦Charlotte Cushman. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 99 

husband a characteristic and significant letter which' 
included comments on circumstances that I had 
discussed with no one, and which Miss G. could not 
have known. 

The atmosphere seemed charged with a subtle 
vitality. I asked my guest if she could not recite 
for me. A shiver passed through her frame re- 
sembling what I had witnessed in Mrs. W., Mr. J. 
C. W., and Mrs. B., the only persons I had ever 
seen in a trance, and instantly she arose and went 
through the Dagger Scene from Macbeth with a 
power and finish which I have never seen surpassed 
although I have seen it rendered many times by the 
world's most famous actors, including Edwin Booth, 
Sir Henry Irving and Salvini. 

Miss G. told me that, according to her conviction, 
she acts always under the direct inspiration of some 
great actor already on the next plane; that having 
begun as a child to commit to memory Shake- 
spearian tragedies all of the instruction in regard to 
gesture, literary interpretation and the use of the 
instrument her voice which she has ever known 
has come to her from the same source. 

During the years that have passed since I wrote 
an account of this episode in my note-book, the ac- 
quaintance thus curiously begun has ripened into a 
warm friendship; my appreciation of the mental 
powers, moral qualities and self-sacrificing life of 
Miss G. has continuously increased. Of a dis- 



ioo NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

tinctly different type from most of the other psychics 
I have known, belonging by birth, breeding and 
education to the best social circles, and by endow- 
ment and aspiration to that still more exclusive class 
whose members serve the world by simply living in 
it, I regard her close friendship as one of the choic- 
est gifts that these years of investigation have 
brought me. 

From this time opportunities for studying psychic 
phenomena, scientifically, i. e., for observing it un- 
der a great variety of conditions, times and places, 
always (except at long intervals, by * arrangement 
with one or another of the instruments already men- 
tioned whose methods have been fully described) 
through new agencies quite unknown to me, with 
whom the connection seemed to be fortuitously 
established, increased. Sometimes opportunities 
came in distant cities in my own and other coun- 
tries ; sometimes in my own house and sometimes on 
railroad trains; sometimes by strangers bringing 
letters of introduction from other strangers who had 
"felt moved" to write them. These were apparently 
all provided through the tireless efforts of my hus- 
band to induct me into this new science, a knowledge 
of which I had by this time concluded must in- 
evitably expand and ennoble human life. 

To illustrate some new methods, and to show the 
growth of power and the continuity of purpose in 
my friends on the next plane, as revealed by medi- 
ums and methods already described, I submit from 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING ion 

hundreds a few typical incidents. It will be recalled 
that my husband had urged me to prepare to spend 
the summer of 1900 in Paris, 

Receiving a commission from President McKin- 
ley to represent the organized work of American 
women at a series of congresses to be held in the 
French capital, coincident with and under the 
auspices of L' Exposition Universelle of 1900, I 
spent five months of that year abroad, most of it in 
Paris, and in the main occupied with work calcu- 
lated to extend the influence of The International 
Council of W<3men. 

As one means of extending "the Council idea" 
I continued to observe my Wednesday "at homes" 
as had for many years been my custom wherever I 
might be. 

One Wednesday afternoon, my rooms at 63 Rue 
Galilee Champs Elysees being quite full of visitors, 
a stranger entered so unobstrusively that I did not 
at once observe her. When I did, I felt drawn by 
a peculiar glance, at once eager and cautious, and 
as I approached, greeting her in French, she replied 
in English, explaining in a low tone that she used 
it that she might not be understood by surrounding 
guests. She said that she had come to see me by 
command and for a very particular reason, but 
that she was in no hurry, and with my permission 
would stay until after all other guests should have 
gone. 

She did so and when we were alone explained 



ttoai NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

that she had come, having been impressed with the 
necessity of my "receiving an important communica- 
tion from the other life plane." In spite of former 
experiences, to be thus addressed by a total stranger 
was startling; she gave me cards and official letters 
which identified her as the widow of a gentleman 
who had represented France in a high diplomatic 
position in the Orient. She told me that it was 
through the death of her husband in this service 
that she had herself been taught the truth of con- 
tinuous existence and continuing relationship, as I 
through the death of my husband had been taught 
the same blessed facts. 

She explained that she had obtained this knowl- 
edge through Madame "the medium who had 

served Lady Caithness and Madame de Morsier 
when the latter was editing for Lady Caithness the 
Revue Psychol 'ogique," and that she had now been 
instructed by Madame de Morsier to introduce her 
medium to me, that through her I might meet the 
friends who were endeavoring to send me an im- 
portant message. This seemed very curious, but I 
knew from former experience that it was not impos- 
sible. The lady's dress, manner and speech bore 
the stamp of refined culture, and her countenance 
and free, frank, sincere look confirmed all other 
indications of her veracity and reenforced the docu- 
ments which she showed me. She was not at all 
acquainted with the Council or interested in any 
part of the feminist movement, and had not her- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 103 

self known Madame de Morsier "until after her 
death." I had become acquainted with Madame de 
Morsier in 1889 when I was a delegate from the Na- 
tional Council of U. S. A. to the Congress Universel 
des Femmes convened that year in Paris, over which 
she ably presided. I had known that Madame de 
Morsier was the editor of the Revue Psychologique, 
but had never seen a copy of it and had not known 
its character. Madame de Morsier I had believed 
to be possessed not only of very remarkable intel- 
lectual powers, but of an exalted character. Of 
none of the other persons named had I ever heard, 
collusion seemed improbable, and the opportunity 
not to be refused. 

Accordingly, by appointment, on the following 
Friday afternoon the French medium came. She 
spoke no English and seemed a sweet, simple, ordi- 
nary person; when asked what conditions she re- 
quired, she said, "Nothing but a small table between 
us, and silence. ,, 

We therefore seated ourselves on opposite sides 
of a little table in my room; she took from her 
pocket a bit of linen on which the alphabet was 
wrought; it much resembled the old-fashioned 
sampler worked by little girls of my grandmother's 
generation. Spreading this on the table, she direct- 
ed me to ask whatever questions I wished, first dis- 
tinctly calling the person from whom I wished the 
reply. When I perceived that she expected the 
answers to be spelled out from the sampler I ob- 



104 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

jected that this would be a very tedious process; 
she asserted that she knew no other. I repeated 
my objections and the table immediately became agi- 
tated, whereupon I exclaimed to her: "Voila! Mon 
nari est impatient; il n' est-pas accountume' a cela." 

At that the table rose from the floor and pressed 
heavily, almost violently against my chest. The lit- 
tle woman seemed as astonished as I truly was, and 
when the table resumed its place on the floor between 
us, she assured me that she had never before wit- 
nessed such a manifestation, but that all her work 
for Madame de Morsier which had continued 
through years, at regular and frequent intervals, had 
been done by the aid of the sampler; that she had 
never spoken as an agent of those whom she served 
"on the other side" and that she was very sure she 
could not. Instantly through her own lips, but in a 
strong strange voice, came the words, "Vous le 
pouvez et vous le ferrez et pur cet effort vous ex- 
perimenter ez un grand pr ogres" 

There followed a long conversation between my 
husband and myself, in the first part of which 
French only was used by us both; in the second 
part I spoke English and my husband French 
through this agent who knew no language but 
French. My husband explained that this was a 
"test" to give me confidence. My husband also told 
me the difficulties he had encountered in finding 
some means of reaching me; he said that at last 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 105 

this help had come through Madame de Morsier 
whom he was in the way of seeing occasionally and 
who had made these arrangements, "circuitous 
and awkward surely, but effective." 

My husband told me that the reason for his mak-. 
ing such extraordinary efforts to reach me was that 
he had only recently and very suddenly seen an im- 
pending difficulty which he said "has forced me to 
come to urge you to be watchful and prudent." He 
seemed very anxious and repeatedly exhorted me 
to prudence and discretion. I promised increased 
care supposing that he meant prudence in regard to 
any exposure of my interest in or knowledge of 
what in my own mind was assuming definiteness 
as "The New Psychology." This interview of more 
than an hour's duration was unsatisfactory, but very 
interesting, because of the novel circumstances and 
conditions that had attended it. 

The following week I received a letter from Mrs. 
H., which she said was written "in compliance with 
Mr. Sewall's recent entreaty that she should warn 
me of an approaching difficulty, and urge me to be 
prudent and discreet." To my husband's message 
she added her own interpretation, which was the 
same that I had given to it on receiving it through 
the French transmitter. Only a few days later the 
"approaching difficulty" arrived and would have 
been disastrous but for this warning, which enabled 
me at once to understand and overcome it. 



io6 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

I arrived at my home in Indianapolis on Septem- 
ber fourteenth and the following week my friend 
Miss G. paid me a visit. 

One evening as we sat in the library in ordinary 
conversation, with the expectation that later her 
gift of automatic writing might be used in my serv- 
ice, I told her of the scenes I had witnessed at Ober- 
ammergau in August, and showed her some photo- 
graphs of the chief actors. Holding out to her a 
photograph of Judas I asked her to look at it and 
compare it with another face that we had been 
analyzing. Reaching out her hand she said, "Where 
is it?" 

I replied, "Why you took it from my hand." 

"No, I took nothing ; I extended my hand to take 
it, but although I saw the photograph in your hand 
there was nothing for me to take." 

This seemed incredible to us, for it was for both 
the first experience of "instantaneous disintegration."* 

We were alone in the room of which neither door 
nor window was open. I had held the photograph 
studying and discussing it before and while I passed 
it to my friend, who, seeing it in my hands, found 
nothing there when her hand reached mine! We 
looked everywhere, removing every paper from the 



*The name of this phenomenon was not given to me until 
two years later when I became familiar with it, and I had 
never heard of anything resembling this incident except in the 
sleight-of-hand performances of traveling wonder-workers 
like Hermann and Keller, with whose clever tricks I had 
never associated psychic science nor had I ever heard this 
association hinted at. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 107 

desk by which we sat, going over and over again 
the basket holding my summer's harvest of photo- 
graphs. It was nowhere to be found. When very 
late, the automatic writing began, my husband's 
first sentence was, "It is useless for you to look for 
the photograph of Judas; — took it." 

In amazement, I cried, " ! How can that be? 

What does he want with it?" 

My husband replied, "It was a singular thing for 

to do; but he wished to show it to Judas; he 

has done so and Judas is not at all pleased with it." 

In reply to further expression of incredulity, pro- 
tests and questions, my husband said, " prom- 
ises to return the photograph when you least ex- 
pect it." 

In May, 1901, while in New York attending a 
conference of the officers of the National Council 
of Women, I spent an evening with my friend Miss 
G. who produced automatically a dictation from my 
husband for me. On this occasion I had made no 
reference to the incident narrated above, but my 

husband wrote: " has been prevented from 

returning the photograph of Judas by the fact that 
the latter feels deeply offended by its production 
and is unwilling that a photograph which he regards 
as a caricature, shall be restored and preserved." 

During the summer of 1901 I spent much time 
in Buffalo, where under the auspices of the Pan- 
American Exposition and through the hospitality 
of its Board of Lady Managers, the International 



108 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Council of Women maintained a headquarters of 
which I had charge. 

On the morning of August ninth I went from 
Buffalo to the camp where four years previous the 
revelations concerning the triumph of life over death 
had been received. My first interview was through 
the aluminum trumpet. 

When I entered the room, already fully described 
on page nine, I observed one change in its furnish- 
ings. A curtain hung across one corner and drop- 
ping to the floor formed what might be called a dark 
closet. I examined this and asked an explanation; 
Mrs. W. told me that "Now people sometimes eth- 
erealize, and if one wishes to do so this little retreat 
is a help." By the trumpet in a vase on the floor 
were some sweet-peas. 

As usual we sat in chairs opposite each other, 
the trumpet between us, but now placed nearer 
me. When Mrs. W.'s control came and I asked an 
explanation of this slight change in the position of 
the trumpet, he said that as my powers were now 
increased, I could furnish more of the strength 
required by returning friends than formerly and 
therefore Mrs. W.'s forces were less drawn on. In 
the conversation that followed were some very sig- 
nificant utterances by my husband. For example 
he called my attention to the sweet-peas, saying:* 



*It was true that on the preceding Sunday I had gone to 
Crown Hill and had dressed the mound beneath which my 
husband's coat of clay had been buried, with sweet-peas, but I 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 109 

"Mrs. W. does not know it, but we moved her to 
place them there to show my appreciation of those 
you gave me Sunday." 

My husband told me that he was in the Fifth 
Sphere of the Etheric Plane ; that he remained there 
by his own desire as it enabled him to be in easier 
communication with me. When I again expressed 
regret that his advancement should be retarded by 
me, he assured me that his development came by this 
service. At this time I confessed my deep disap- 
pointment that I had myself acquired no use of my 
subtle power and was still as dependent as ever on 
intermediaries. I said it seemed to me certain that 
whatever powers they possessed must be possessed 
in undeveloped embryo by every one, and that if 
such powers were a part of the universal human 
equipment they must, like other powers, be suscep- 
tible of cultivation, and I complained that notwith- 
standing my continuous efforts I got no results. He 
replied that in this rather more than in other forms 
of growth it is "impossible to serve two masters"; 
but assured me that I was growing interiorly as 
fast as was possible while occupied by so many ex- 
ternal interests. He also said that slow growth of 
the powers I desired to develop was the best and he 
counseled me to patience, to steadfastness, to con- 
tinuous effort, to concentration and secrecy, and to 
persistence in the study of science. 



had told no one and at this time no reference had been 
made to it. 



jio NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

In the midst of this appeal my husband suddenly 
ceased to speak; presently a light appeared between 
the two parts of the curtain before described; the 
light gradually assumed the form of a human head 
and instantly after the head was fully formed ap- 
peared my husband's face — every feature perfect 
to the life, but transcendently refined and beautiful. 
He bowed several times and saluting me with a 
peculiar gesture used by him in his life, suddenly 
vanished. Instantly he again apparently became a 
voice, for the conversation was resumed at the 
point where it had been interrupted, and when his 
appeal that I should "continue to study this science" 
was ended he expressed pleasure in my satisfaction 
at his "appearing to me." He told me that he had 
"etherealized" and not "materialized,"* but he com- 
plained of exhaustion and, his voice growing weak, 
I begged him to draw on my strength. He de- 
clined, saying I should need it all for what was be- 
fore me. He added, "While the others are speak- 
ing I will retire and accumulate the force necessary 
to resume the interview." 

From long and interesting conversations held 
that day with numerous friends, I quote a few pass- 
ages which in the light of preceding incidents and 
of subsequent observations seem most significant. 

My mother said, "I am now with father in the 



*He has frequently explained that while these are the tech- 
nical terms, the latter should be physicalized since ether also 
is matter. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING [in 

Sixth Sphere," and when I asked, "What is the 
Sixth Sphere?" she answered, "It is next to the 
Celestial Plane and your father and I could both 
now be on that plane did we choose." 

I asked, "Why do you not go to the Celestial 
Plane, if it is higher and is accessible to you?" 

"It would be more difficult to reach you and the 
Doctor, so we have decided to stay here until you 
come over and we can all go to the Celestial Plane 
together." 

"Is Theodore with you in the Sixth Sphere?" 

"Oh, no, — Theodore could have been in the Ce- 
lestial Plane long ago, had he wished. He was 
ready for the Celestial long before your father and 
I were, but he chooses to be in the Fifth Sphere of 
the Etheric because he wishes to be with you all 
the time." 

"Mother, what is the Fifth Sphere?" 

"Why, the Fifth Sphere on the Etheric Plane is 
the sphere of human service and Theodore will 
never leave it until you come over." 

"Mother, is with you now, or are you with 

him? You remember that at the time of our last 
interview you were with him trying to help him." 

"I'm with him no longer. I've come home to your 
father again. We have discharged our whole duty 

to . He has seen the light and now his progress 

depends on himself. He is in the Third Sphere and 
is doing very well." 



112 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"I wish, mother, you would tell me more about 
the Third Sphere." 

"I can not explain it very well; but as nearly as 
I can express it in your language, it is the sphere 
where one sees the light and where one's inde- 
pendent growth begins." 

Later, my mother having several times referred 
to her "home" in the Sixth Sphere, I asked several 
questions about it, and at last she said, "I can't 
explain it very well to you because of having no 
language and because you are not yet prepared to 
understand it — but, it is simply true, that 'In our/ 
Father's house are many mansions' and every one^ 
of us can have one." 

The longest interview I had with my sister 
Theresa prior to 1902 was on this day, and in reply 
to questions induced by her remarks she said, 
"When I first came over here my own mother and 
my grandmother (not her mother but our father's 
mother) met me and cared for me, and since I 
learned my mission as a guide I am pretty busy 
meeting poor people who come over having no spe- 
cial friends of their own ready to care for them." 

My husband's grandfather concluded his talk by 
congratulating me on "the advantages in growth 
you will enjoy on the next planes by having become 
scientifically acquainted with these truths on the 
Earth Plane." 

Little Annie Brackett came with laughter and 
kisses bringing with her the very atmosphere of 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 113 

gay girlhood. In the midst of her gleeful narrative 
she became silent and soon the curtain before re- 
ferred to parted ; a nucleus of light appeared which 
seemed to gather to itself more light and presently 
it assumed the form of a young girl with fair hair, 
blue eyes and a countenance of hardly less than 
supernatural brightness. Except that again and 
again during the manifestation a little white hand 
threw me kisses, only head and shoulders appeared. 

I cried out, "Oh, Annie, I want to hold you, at 
least to touch you." 

The light vanished and the voice returned pre- 
luded by gay laughter, "I haven't anything to touch, 
Auntie May, but I want to give you my portrait like 
the one you have of Uncle Theodore." 

At the end of a long conversation with my father 
whose part in it was sustained, significant and char- 
acteristic, but too personal and involving too many 
people (some of whom I do not yet know) to be 
reproduced, he said : "When I first came over here, 
and when mother, who, like myself, had had many 
cares in earth life, came, we were obliged to take a 
long rest ; but now we are working hard to progress 
all we can this side of the Celestial Plane, to which 
we've decided not to go to stay until you come 
over." 

I observed that while the conversations were 
longer than ever before enjoyed at a single sitting, 
all the voices were weaker, and I also felt the cause 
of this weakness. I therefore said, "Commonly; 



ii4 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

when we use the trumpet I feel as if you were draw- 
ing strength from me when you speak, but to-day 
I do not have this sensation at all," and I added, "I 
wish you would use my strength to talk longer, 
clearer and louder." 

It was little Annie who replied, "You are right, 
Auntie May, we did formerly use your strength 
when we talked, but Uncle Theodore will not let us 
draw on it one bit." 

"But I want you to draw on it, Annie. I do not 
see what harm it can do, and the talks give me so 
much pleasure." 

"But, Auntie May, Uncle Theodore will not allow 
it. He says you need all of your strength for your 
own work, and Uncle Theodore knows best." 

That day many friends came unsummoned, some 
of them unknown. Among these was a great-uncle 
of distinction in his profession, Doctor Calvin Mon- 
tague, who had passed from this life nearly eighty- 
years before, who made an important statement 
about his branch of the family, unknown to me but 
confirmed by reference to the Montague genealogy. 
Miss Frances E. Willard also made some very char- 
acteristic comments on my recent public work and 
in referring to an incident connected with it used 
the name of a person who so far as I then knew 
had no relation to it. I protested, but afterward dis- 
covered that Miss Willard had been quite right. 
Several other friends similarly made statements of 






NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 115 

facts quite unknown to me, which were sustained 
by subsequent investigation. 

When, after other interviews were finished, my 
husband came for his final talk with me, he was 
full of solicitude. 

He told me that to develop my powers in all the 
ways I desired and to work on two planes at once 
as I wished was impossible. He assured me that my 
guides and teachers on the Etheric and Celestial 
Planes were helping me all they could, but that even 
they could not secure the simultaneous development 
of different subtle faculties, while I was so occu- 
pied by material or external interests. 

My husband also urged me to guard my health; 
he expressed great anxiety lest I was not properly 
nourished; he said he observed an abatement of vi- 
tality and that for this reason he had forbidden the 
use of my strength in the interviews. I was aston- 
ished at this and assured him of my perfect physi- 
cal soundness, but events showed his superior 
knowledge. 

When the control came to bring my interview to 
a close or, to use the phrase which seems best to 
express what appeared to be his function as chair- 
man of the conference "to adjourn the meeting," he 
urged me to see a psychic then on the camp grounds 
of whom I had never heard, and also to have an in- 
terview with one whose "trance readings" have 
been earlier described. He assured me that it was 



n6 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

by my husband's desire that he made these sugges- 
tions, which I therefore followed. 

Mr. N., the psychic until then unknown, warned 
me to care for my health ; said that I was quite un- 
conscious of the strain that I had been under for 
the past two years, that my vitality had been greatly 
overdrawn and that I did not feel this was due to 
the unremitting efforts of my friends on the Etheric 
Plane to renew my forces by generating magnetism 
for me. 

To the perceptions, inferences and conclusions in- 
duced by previous experiences, I now added the fol- 
lowing propositions: 

First: Coming events on this plane of life cast 
their advance shadows on the Etheric Plane. 

Second: An influence similar to what we know 
as mesmeric or hypnotic can be exerted by some of 
the residents on other planes of life upon those liv- 
ing here. 

Third : The force best described in our language 
by the word vitality may be drawn upon by humans 
in the Etheric to enable them to gravitate toward the 
Earth Plane. 

Fourth : The corresponding force, serving the in- 
habitants of advanced planes as vitality serves those 
of the physical plane, may be drawn on by us to 
aid our levitation toward them. 

Fifth: The life on the advanced planes is pro- 
gressive and very regularly ordered. The organiza- 
tion of society there is systematic and definite, and 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 117 

yet an individual's capacities and volition determine! 
his plane and even his sphere within the plane of his 
free choice. 

Sixth : The law of growth there continues to in- 
volve the principle of sacrifice and the motive of 
service which are known to be indispensable to char- 
acter growth here. 

Seventh : It is evident that as the human body- 
has retained, in a rudimentary form, organs which, 
in its present stage of evolution and under present 
conditions have been useless, so the human mind 
contains in embryo and in partial development facul- 
ties and powers destined by changing conditions to 
become developed and active. 

Eighth: The process of developing the subtle 
abilities is slow and difficult, exacting sustained ef- 
fort. This process is retarded by a division of in- 
terests and doubtless may be interrupted by remis- 
sion of effort. 



CHAPTER V 

ATTACKED BY DISEASE PRONOUNCED INCURABLE. 

REFUSES MEDICAL AID. RUBINSTEIN AND PERE 

CONDE INTRODUCED BY HUSBAND 

IN NOVEMBER (1901) I was surprised by a 
sudden severe attack of what, from descriptions 
I had heard given by sufferers, I diagnosed as lum- 
bago. 

I was reluctant to call a physician. All the small 
faith I had ever possessed in materia medica I had 
lost, and, although very sympathetic with Christian 
Science, I am not a follower of that cult. I had 
thought that a discreet mode of life, including use- 
ful work and the maintenance of a serene spirit, 
ought to secure health, but I began to realize that 
there is a limit to the application of this rule. 

A friend told me of a physician of a new school, 
a "magnetist" who gave no medicines. To this 
physician I applied; his treatment was immediately 
effective, but the relief was not permanent, and with 
each recurrence of the malady I was compelled to 
resort to his aid. 

The winter of 190 1-2 was marked by heavy work 
and increased care. My two great central interests 
were the Girls' Classical School and the Interna- 
tional Council of Women. In these I was so ab- 

118 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 119 

sorbed that, except when suffering pain, I did 
not think of my health, which had always been per- 
fect, but with spring there came a sudden knowledge 
of financial loss and a no less sudden consciousness 
of abated vigor. 

This glimpse into my life during the winter of 
1 90 1 -2 will prevent my readers from experiencing 
surprise that the complete absorption of my time 
and strength in externals had prevented the con- 
tinuance of the daily periods of concentration and 
introspection which require both regularity and 
calm. I had therefore abandoned them and in so 
doing unconsciously had closed many of the ave- 
nues through which previously unrecognized help 
had been coming to me. 

I was in a sad state, and the evidence of my fail- 
ing health drew that solicitous attention of friends 
which I was most anxious to avoid. 

One Sunday in March I was surprised by a visit 
from Doctor R. R. G., a homeopathist whom I much 
esteemed, who explained that in violation of pro- 
fessional etiquette and of her established habit, she 
had come unsummoned, compelled to do so by her 
affectionate interest in me; she said that she and 
many of my friends were greatly shocked by my 
changed aspect which clearly indicated serious ill- 
ness; she told me that I had every appearance of a 
victim of Bright's Disease, but that, without a thor- 
ough examination, which would include the chemical 
analysis of many samples of different excretions,, 



120 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

reliable diagnosis could not be made. Doctor G. 
assured me that through her agency, this examina- 
tion could be made without the knowledge of any- 
one else. Deeply appreciating her kindness I con- 
sented to an inspection which, including the chemical 
tests, covered several weeks; when over, I was in- 
formed that the disease, which was incurable, had 
already reached an advanced stage. I was urged to 
discontinue, or at least diminish, my work; to place 
myself under medical treatment; to comply with the 
regimen and to take the remedies, which admittedly 
could not cure the disease, but which, I was told, 
"could abate its pace, diminish discomfort and pro- 
long life." 

I did not wish my life prolonged unless I could 
have perfect health ; nothing appeared to me so un- 
reasonable as to consult further or obey any physi- 
cian when my malady was at the outset pronounced 
incurable by the whole profession. To do so could 
only add to the financial anxiety which to me seemed 
one of the causes of my condition, and I therefore 
repelled the further attention of this kind physi- 
cian and refused to consult any other.* 



*I did, however, later consult my brother, Doctor F. B. 
Wright, a physician of long experience and of widely reputed 
exceptional knowledge, skill and success. To him I made a 
complete and painstakingly accurate statement of the revealed 
conditions, (attributing them to an imaginary friend,) and 
was assured by him, that granting that the chemical test had 
been carefully made and the results correctly reported, the 
history of Therapeutics held no record of cure; that this 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 121 

I however declared my conviction that in the na- 
ture of things there can be no incurable disease, 
though there may be many diseases for which the 
cure has not been found by any physician up to 
date. 

Before the tests were finished, the diagnosis made 
and my decision given, June had come and with it 
the pressure of the commencement season always 
requiring much social activity, and this year be- 
cause of circumstances already referred to, charged 
with uncommon cares and with unprecedented, grave 
responsibilities. The annual session of the Execu- 
tive of the International Council was to convene in 
Copenhagen, and although I had confidently looked 
forward to attending it, my business obligations ren- 
dering this unwise, it was necessary for me to send 
out a circular to Council workers and to prepare in 
much haste a memorandum to submit to the meet- 
ing. 

My program shows that, assailed by a disease 
nominally incurable, the daily average of hours de- 
voted to actual work during this hard season had 
been sixteen, and now, at its end instead of the an- 
ticipated invigorating sea voyage and the stimulating 
association of my comrades in the Council, I was 
facing a summer in our hot inland city divided be- 
tween superintending extensive repairs on both the 



malady was universally declared incurable; that conditions 
might be ameliorated by treatment but that one never could 
be delivered from this disease except by death. 



122 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

school and residential buildings, and carrying on a 
correspondence in connection with my professional 
and my official labors which kept two secretaries 
busy. 

The only entry regarding my health which I find 
in my diary between the date of my last conversation 
with Doctor G. already cited and August twelfth, 
runs as follows : 

"It is very curious — I am again feeling perfectly 
well, lively and vigorous as I have not felt for near- 
ly a year. Bright's Disease must be a very insidi- 
ous malady to be able to bring its victim face to 
face with death, as I am said to be, and yet to allow 
one not only a release from discomfort, pain and 
all sense of weakness, but to permit the doomed 
victim to experience a sense of buoyancy. Some- 
times, in spite of my efforts to correct my fancy 
by my judgment, it seems to me that this sensa- 
tion of buoyancy follows what I can only describe 
to myself as a very gentle ministration of electricity 
— this sensation is frequent but so sudden, so fleet- 
ing and so subtle that before I am quite sure of its 
presence it has ceased. This really seems the only 
reminder of the etheric experiences of recent years 
— but for the recurrence of this sensation, all avenues 
to the subtle world seem closed. I often wonder 
whether they were ever opened ; my memory of them 
all is clear ; I have been lately rereading my contem- 
porary records of them. They were real. Why 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 123 

have they ceased ? Is the cause to be found in men- 
tal perturbation or in physical depletion or in both? 
How I wish I knew. It seems to me that I have 
been unable for months to get still enough to hear or 
see or feel. May the approaching vacation 
bring me repose of spirit and perception and, in 
some way, reestablish my connection with my hus- 
band on what they call the 'Etheric Plane.' After 
commencement is over I must try to find some 
psychic who can reopen the door for me." 

Such was my state of mind as recorded on my 
anniversary, May 27th, 1902. 

Eleven days later the school had closed — the stu- 
dents had scattered to their homes — my vacation 
program had begun. I devoted the mornings to in- 
terviews with business men, with past and prospec- 
tive supporters of the school, and to supervising 
workmen of all sorts who, either singly or in squads 
in daily aggregates of from three to forty-seven, 
were occupied from June fifteenth to September 
fifteenth in the repairs before alluded to. The 
afternoons were spent in my office dictating alter- 
nately to my two stenographers letters relating to 
business and to Council propaganda. 

A circumstance which quite changed my feelings 
about spending the summer at home was the un- 
expected arrival on June fifth of Miss G., who, 
with the intention of spending only a few days, re- 
mained as my guest until August thirteenth. 



124 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Miss G. was at the time employed in writing a 
play. Both of us were unceasingly occupied during 
the day ; although we met at breakfast and luncheon, 
our leisure for real conversation came only with the 
six o'clock dinner, after which we took an hour or 
so for receiving friends, who like myself, were spend- 
ing the summer in the city, or for reading aloud. 
The two or three hours before retiring for the night 
were spent by me in serious study and in efforts 
to reestablish periods of concentration. About the 
middle of July, Miss G. told me that she was re- 
ceiving automatic communications of importance 
and that she had been directed to read to me one in 
which she had been instructed by my husband to 
send for a ouija-board and to sit with me for auto- 
matic writing. The letter explained that her own 
plans had been curiously interrupted to secure her 
society for me whom her "mere presence in the 
house was aiding to a higher degree of sensitive- 
ness." She was further told that her teachers and 
my own on the Etheric Plane had united to assist 
me to the practical development and efficient use 
of my latent psychic powers. 

This was amazing and to me incredible, for while 
my hopes to achieve the quality which would enable 
my consciousness to be accessible to friends on the 
Etheric Plane had been more or less strong and 
constant for the four years following what I call 
my first knowledge of the continuity of life on 
post-mortem planes, not only all capacity but ail 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 125 

courage had been reduced to nearly the point of 
extinction during the hard fifth year now coming 
to an end, apparently in a total eclipse of that light 
which had revealed to me higher planes on which 
further evolved humans were strenuously active. 
It will be recalled that I had received such a 
writing machine from Mrs. H. as was mentioned in 
Miss G.'s letter and that my husband had discour- 
aged its use. This fact made its recommendation 
now seem improbable if not puerile and unscientific, 
and for the first time since August nth, 1897, I 
felt repelled by the attempt of my friends to reach 
me. However, desire to communicate directly with 
them and enter into immediate relation with the 
subtler planes of life overcame my repugnance; my 
friend obeyed the directions given her, sent for the 
ouija-board and induced me to try to learn to use it. 
The process was very simple; except when directed 
for some reason always carefully stated and ex- 
plained through my automatic letter to Miss G. to 
omit an exercise, we repaired to the library at nine 
o'clock each evening and drawing our chairs near 
to each other, we concentrated in silence a few 
minutes; then I would ask questions and on ouija 
held by my friend would slowly be spelled out in- 
telligent replies. After a little I was directed to 
"hold the board, to rub it and thus to fill it with 
magnetism," and lo! answers came when held in 
only my own hands. So soon as this step was 
gained, through an automatic communication pro- 



126 NEITHER DEXD NOR SLEEPING 

duced by Miss G/s Hand, I was directed to put the 
ouija-board away and never use it again unless 
particularly instructed to do so.* 

I was told that my use of the board was prelimi- 
nary to automatic writing and was given most min- 
ute directions about the tablets and pencils to be 
used in producing the latter. Those materials I 
purchased at a certain shop by specific instructions, 
magnetized them, and holding the pencil on the 
page — lo! it began to move, first describing circles 
and ellipses, then combining these figures with fan- 
tastic but harmonious and evidently intentioned in- 
tricacy. Two tablets were filled with these figures 
and then, suddenly faster than thought, there was 
traced on the page a greeting, an expression of 
triumph, of joy, of gratitude — followed by this most 
surprising sentence, which I copy from the page 
on which it appeared before my astonished eyes. 

"To-night, May, I wish to introduce to you two 
friends of mine who are to be your first teachers — 
May, this is Rubinstein." 



I was so startled that I dropped the pencil, ex- 
claiming, "But, Theodore, the only Rubinstein of 



♦The explanation given was that the ouija-board is an 
open door around which many unpurified and undeveloped 
humans are wont to crowd eager for entrance into any mind 
that can be used by them to effect a return to earth ; and that 
to be thus used by such undeveloped beings is most injurious 
and even dangerous. I, of course, promised obedience to this 
warning which I have carefully observed. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 127 

whom I Have ever heard was a great musician. You 
can not be presenting him?" 

Miss G. took the pencil and through her hand 
came the reply, "Yes! I mean Anton Rubinstein, 
the famous pianist, who is to be your teacher.' ' 

"Theodore, that is quite impossible. You know — • 
you must remember that I am not at all musical." 

"I know you neither sing nor play on any instru- 
ment but the deepest element in your character is 
love of harmony, and harmony is the foundation of 
music, as it is its first product. It is your love of 
harmony which makes you always reconcile the 
different. It is this which enabled you to conceive 
of 'the Council Idea/ and which has given you your 
success as an organizer. You have always been a 
harmonizer and now your reward is to be instruct- 
ed by the Master of Harmony." 

As these last words were written, I felt the cool 
air blow suddenly across my face and simultaneously 
felt the thrill of the magnetic current passing 
through my body. These sensations ceased in an 
instant, and my husband Continued: "Mr. Rubin- 
stein has a very strong personality. He says he con- 
siders his connection with his new pupil established 
and he is pleased. He will soon write to you; he 
now bids you good night and withdraws." 

My husband then, through Miss G/s hand, di- 
rected her to return the pencil to me, adding that 



128 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

he should now be able to use my hand to make an 
important communication. 

I took the pencil and with much more ease than 
I, of my own volition and with previous knowledge 
of what I shall now write, can pen these words, there 
was traced by my pencil with incomparable speed 
the following paragraphs : 

"You were right, May, perfectly right. There 
is no "incurable disease," only diseases which phy- 
sicians have not yet learned to cure/ I shall say 
which physicians on the Earth Plane have not yet 
learned to cure, for knowledge of all the things 
found on all the planes exists on some plane. One 
of my friends here knows how to restore you to 
perfect health. He is here to be presented to you. 
Let me introduce to you, May, a distinguished phy- 
sician, Pere Conde, who, if you will be obedient 
to his directions, will restore you to perfect health, 
— I do not say will cure you, for although you are 
full of disease, you have not been allowed to become 
sick. You have always been kept feeling well and 
have been enabled to carry on excessive labors. Is 
this not so ? And since you repudiated the aid that 
could only enable you to die comfortably you have 
really been kept feeling strong and buoyant. Is it 
not so?" 

I could only exclaim, "It is true," and my Mend 
cried, "That explains it! I have wondered all sum- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 129 

mer how you could endure all your work and other 
burdens and apparently feel so well!" 

My husband, through my hand resumed, "May, 
you have not greeted Pere Conde, who stands here 
saluting you." 

I said, "I do not know how to salute him. I do 
not know what to think — I only know you would 
bring no one who is not sincere and worthy. I need 
help; I shall be grateful to any one who will help 
me; but if he is a physician, why do you call him 
Pere?" 

Through my own hand came, "Pere Conde is 
both priest and physician. He can minister to both 
soul and body ; he retires now but will write to you 
soon, perhaps to-morrow night." 

It seemed impossible, but I knew that I felt the 
Pere's withdrawal — and at the same moment ex- 
perienced what I have before described as a very 
gentle electric shock — accompanied by the touch of 
a zephyr. 

Can any one who has not enjoyed a similar ex- 
perience imagine either my delight or my eagerness ? 
I wished to write more. Questions multiplied on 
my lips, but my husband through a brief letter to 
Miss G. asserted that no more could be given me at 
that time, but that if I could sleep calmly and bear 
without fatigue the experience of this evening, I 
should receive another letter the next night. Then, 
directing Miss G. to pass the pencil to me, he wrote 
through my hand the date, August II, 1902, thus 



130 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

calling my attention to the ^fact that we were cele- 
brating the fifth anniversary of our reunion after 
the separation by death, and he also reminded me 
that I had at different times received the promise 
that some latent psychic power should become active 
at this time. 

My friend and scribe — my instructor in this 
strange system of penmanship — was quite over- 
come; when at last she could speak it was to say 
that although she had herself possessed this gift 
of automatic writing for many years, she had never 
witnessed a similar demonstration. My own feel- 
ings can not well be described, but the next morning 
I awoke refreshed by unbroken slumber, and as I 
began the daily routine, I felt that although appar- 
ently unchanged, my world had been made new; 
that even my inconstant following of the gleam of 
which I had caught the first glimpse on August n, 
1897, had at the end of five years brought me to 
an open gate leading into a wider path, above which 
the gleam had become a ray. I knew that, however 
long, or steep or rocky the way might be, I should 
follow it so long as the light should beckon me on. 

And so it is that the end of Part I of this story 
dates the beginning of Part II. 



Part Two 

A Promise Fulfilled— The Story of My Novitiate 



NOTE 

On August twelfth Miss G. told me that the work 
for which she had been sent having been accom- 
plished she must bring her visit to a close. I was 
conscious that the solitude in which her departure 
would leave me would be salutary. She left me on 
August thirteenth and that evening I began to prac- 
tice my new accomplishment alone. 

Eager as I was to know whether the inferences 
I had already drawn from experiences through me- 
diums were correct, I was still more anxious to cul- 
tivate the acquaintance of the two men who had 
been presented as my "first teachers/' and I begged 
my husband to establish rapport for me with them. 
He assured me that I was to have the privilege of 
an intimate friendship with both; but that as their 
instruction would be in "strict conformity to psychic 
law" it had been decided that before their work 
should begin, he must transmit a brief exposition of 
the elementary principles of this law, with a few of 
its corollaries. He said that he had obtained per- 
mission from a celebrated scientist, whose lectures 
he had attended, to communicate to me such as I 
was now capable of understanding. The work thus 
suggested was immediately begun, and not to in- 
terrupt by personal story by inserting at this point 
I place these three lectures on Psychic Law as an 
appendix to the story. They may help my readers 
to understand what follows, as they helped me ta 
continue this arduous though fascinating work* 

M W. S. 



CHAPTER VI 

RUBINSTEIN SELECTS PIANO AND DIRECTS EXERCISE 

AND PRACTISE. GREAT MASTER'S LIFE AND 

WORK ON ETHERIC PLANE. PERE COND^ 

MY CONTEMPORARY notes show that the 
lectures and the discussions with my husband 
resulting from them occupied all night of August 
thirteenth, and that after the continuous labors of 
the next day were finished, I repaired to the library, 
where my husband had advised me I should hear 
from many friends. 

It may be of interest to note that, although all 
of the letters came through my husband's agency, 
I felt the changing personalities of those who ap- 
proached before one word of each of more than a 
dozen communications had been recorded by my 
hand. Among these were characteristic messages 
from my father and mother and astonishing re- 
quests from Rubinstein and Pere Conde. 

The former urged me to the immediate purchase 
of a piano, and the latter to the instant engagement 
of a masseuse. To both I gave emphatic assurances 
of the impossibility of gratifying their respective 
desires. My husband supported their demands, re- 
minded me of my eager welcome of these teachers 
on the eleventh inst., and assured me that no un«* 
necessary requirement would be made of me ? and 

133 



134 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

that lack of means could not be urged for two rea- 
sons: First, each had assured him that he should 
ask nothing involving expenditure for equipment 
for his work with me, beyond what he was himself 
able to secure the means of paying for; and second, 
that the means which would be provided for such 
equipment could not safely be diverted to any other 
use. 

My reply was, that if I could believe all that was 
said, I should doubtless comply with the requests, 
but credence was impossible to me. My husband 
told me that if I had the spirit of obedience to my 
teachers, circumstances on the External Plane 
would justify it. 

I told Pere Conde that I not only knew no com- 
petent masseuse, but being unwilling to expose my 
physical condition and needs, I hesitated to make 
inquiries for one. The Pere said that he should 
endeavor at once to find one suited to his treatment 
of me, and added that this would require "a very 
skilful manipulator and also a very honest and 
sensitive woman." 

A few hours later I was summoned by telephone 

by Miss H — . (a friend with whom I had never 

exchanged a word about my physical state), who 
asked me if I did not know of some one needing a 
masseuse. She said that a Danish woman, a 
stranger, was seeking work, and she asked permis- 
sion to send Miss F. to me. As a result of the in- 
terview granted, I made a trial engagement of this 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 135 

masseuse, whose devoted services continued for 
nearly a year and justified Pere Conde's judgment 
of both her personal and professional qualifications. 

To some curious reader's question, "Did Pere 
Conde find the funds to pay for the masseuse ?" I 
must reply that he dictated the terms of the con- 
tract; prescribed the length and the character of 
each treatment and apparently secured from time 
to time the literary engagements of kinds quite new 
to me, with persons apparently introduced by him- 
self, by which funds were provided outside of the 
income from my profession, sufficient to pay the 
cost, which was not inconsiderable, since, in con- 
nection with the massage, vapor baths were ordered, 
which required the purchase of a vapor bath cabinet, 
a convenience of which I had never heard until I 
was directed to purchase one. I may add, that the 
opportunity to purchase was given me by an agent 
at my door the morning after I had most reluctantly 
agreed to try to find one. 

Rubinstein resented the engagement of a mas- 
seuse prior to the purchase of a piano ; but the lat- 
ter was so much more foreign to my own possible 
perception of need, that it was difficult for him, 
supported though he was by the urgent appeals of 
Pere Conde and the confident assurances of my 
husband, to overcome my objections to an invest- 
ment so large and apparently so unreasonable. The 
Master's method of convincing me of his determina- 
tion and the existence of its basis in m^ own char- 



136 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

acter was unexpected; I suddenly experienced an 
impulse to drum, as on a piano, on every article of 
furniture that I approached, and I, who had never 
danced a step, began improvising and executing 
complicated dances, experiencing simultaneously the 
exquisite blending of sensation and emotion which 
I have since learned can be produced only by com- 
municating strains of harmony to a harmonized be- 
ing, i. e., to "one whose mind and body are con- 
sciously correlated." 

It must be understood that my automatic writing 
and all of the exercises, physical and mental, result- 
ing from it, including the bathing, the massage and 
the curious music, were confined to the night— the 
daytime being most peremptorily required by do- 
mestic, professional and business affairs. 

My desire to know the conditions of life on the 
next plane, and to become acquainted with the char- 
acters and interests of my two new friends had 
grown eager. To all applications for information 
my husband's reply was that those who have passed 
from the experiences of the mortal life to higher 
planes still know the conditions and the vocabulary 
of earth's denizens and can be helpful to such as 
are able to receive them; but that, owing to three 
Circumstances, great difficulty exists in explaining 
the conditions of life on subsequent planes to those 
still incarnate. 

First : Time and space as conditions do not exist 
on those planes. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 137 

Second: This single fact compels a difference 
in the vocabularies of the two planes which makes 
it very difficult to describe in the language used on 
the mortal plane the conditions of life on the post- 
mortem. 

Third: Moreover, life on subsequent planes is 
so analogous to life on earth — so accurately sequen- 
tial to it — that its very reasonableness disappoints 
expectations and awakens incredulity; and the re- 
semblances of post-mortem to earth life are inevit- 
ably exaggerated by the ante-mortem vocabulary 
which is the sole means of communication at com- 
mand. 

Probably the most direct means of giving the 
reader some perception of the vistas of life that 
opened before me during the first few days follow- 
ing my awakening will be found in extracts from 
replies to my questions. For brevity, I shall omit 
the questions and comments, whenever the drift of 
these can be inferred from the responses, which are 
verbatim reports. 

"No, I shall probably be unable to dictate the 
entire course to you, because the later and more ad- 
vanced lectures discuss matters to which your mind 
is not yet opened; but I think you will derive great 
benefit as well as pleasure from those you have 
taken; and now I shall try to gratify your curiosity 
about your new friends, each of whom is, after his 
own manner, a towering personality. 



138 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING ' 

"Rubinstein, who came over a little later than I 
did, is still on the Etheric Plane, where he conducts 
large enterprises. He has a great conservatory of 
music; he is indeed charged with the music of this 
particular sphere or plane of being. He is a tire- 
less worker; always composing anthems, training 
large choirs, arranging recitals and devising means 
for causing music to enter more largely into life 
on both the Earth and the Etheric Plane." 

During these first weeks of experience of an 
awakening brain when I distinctly felt its expan- 
sion in response to the necessities of an opening 
mind, I was often so astonished that wonder passed 
into a very definite though subdued form of fright 
- — a kind of paralyzing timidity. Observing this, 
my husband not infrequently reproached or rallied 
me, urging a more courageous attitude. In the most 
Confidant language he assured me that there was no 
occasion for fear. 

"You will never be misled. You may, and I 
think must, sometimes be misinformed as to times* 
and seasons, for as far as my experience and ob- 
servation on this plane go, not only for myself, but 
for all excarnate humans, the most difficult condi- 
tion of the incarnate state to retain a recollection of 
and to reckon with is Time. It is not, we believe, 
impossible, but it is difficult. To construct the equa- 
tion which will enable us to allow for it is our 



neither: dead nor sleeping 139 

hardest task. You must, therefore, not rely too 
absolutely on our time statements, but I believe you 
will never be misinformed as to facts. 

"Yes, I know you are a little anxious about your 
headache this morning. You are afraid that the 
severe exercises to which Rubinstein subjects you 
may be injurious. Have no fear. This practice 
will in the end be as invigorating for your body as 
it will be stimulating to the germs of musical per- 
ception. I do not understand the entire plan for 
your musical education; but one feature of it is to 
awaken to vibratory appeal and response every 
section of your body, as well as every cell of your 
brain. I am told that your love of color and your 
keen perception of a possible basis of harmony for 
the apparently most different and irreconcilable ele- 
ments — your love of essential harmony and your 
instinctive recoil from discord — are great aids to 
this work. You need not hesitate to do everything 
that this master commands, for he is recognized on 
this plane as a great leader. He is a wise man; a 
sage as well as a musician. He is a great admirer 
of the Czar ; and in your small place, in your humble 
way, you have, so to speak, stood by the Czar; i. e., 
you have recognized in his call for the Hague Con- 
ference, a great idea, and you have many times 
publicly asserted your conviction that this idea 
originated in the Czar's own mind, while the mili- 
tary preparations which seem to contradict and an- 
nul it proceed not from his desire, but from circum- 



I4Q NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

stance in which he, although a czar, is as powerless 
as any peasant. Now, you are given a Russian 
master not only because a Russian chances to be 
the greatest available master, but because the great- 
est step in the cause to which you are personally 
called has been taken by the Czar, himself a Rus- 
sian, an accomplished musician and a great ad- 
mirer of Rubinstein. We here are taught that the 
laws of magnetic attraction are universal, that they 
obtain in all spheres where being manifests in action 
and that they are as unerring as the fluid under 
their control is subtle. All that I have just told 
you and all that you are experiencing results from 
the operation of these laws." 

Every night without a thought I wrote with a 
facility and speed which thought would have im- 
peded, scores, sometimes hundreds, of pages — none 
less interesting than those here reproduced — but of 
which the subject-matter was often more foreign to 
my untaught mind, and thus still less probably the 
product of my imagination. It came so easily, how- 
ever, that often I was afraid that I might be its 
real though unconscious author. 

"I know you are surprised by the apparent ease 
with which you write and that sometimes you think 
you may be doing it without aid. This is an utter 
mistake. You do lend yourself to our instruction 
with marvelous ease, but you know you have been 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING '141! 

in training for over five years; this training* has 
been continuous, though your consciousness of it 
has been only occasional. This training is supple- 
mented by our love, another name for rapport, 
which explains a part of our success, and by your 
habit of mental discipline, which explains the rest." 

To a fear that I expressed lest I should be unduly 
elated by all that I was enjoying through my new; 
friends, my husband replied : 

"Do not fear. Enjoy every new conquest of 
knowledge that you make. Apply it to the improve- 
ment of your own life. You will have disappoint- 
ments enough to temper every triumph." 

The date of this conversation (August 15, 1902) 
is important because it is that of my first inde- 
pendent clairaudience. The preceding paragraph 
was accompanied by deep sighs indicative of the 
writer's anxiety and sympathy. Then to my ex- 
clamation, "What shall I think of this !" with great 
speed and vigor came the following: 

"Think what is true ; vis. : that you are only be- 
ginning to know the resources of your own nature; 
and that these are being revealed to you because you 
have been always so zealous for health and for the 
perpetuity of physical and mental faculty. Nothing 
that you are told to do by either Pere Conde or 



142 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Rubinstein is impossible, though many of their com- 
mands are very heavy — not to be obeyed without 
great effort and much sacrifice; but the results 
promised justify all the sacrifice and all the labor. 
The results are not impossible, only remote. I have 
often heard you say : 'We are God's children, hold- 
ing in germ all God's faculties.' Some of these 
faculties are now germinating in you remarkably; 
but not miraculously at all; simply according to 
Psychic Law which it is to be your felicity to ex- 
pound. 

"Rubinstein says that your finely balanced phys- 
ical organism is indispensable to the success of his 
experiment ; that to perfect this is his first task ; 
therefore you must not shrink from any exercise 
he directs. 

"Rubinstein, although a musician, is practically 
Pere Conde's partner in the latter's care of you; 
for the most part Rubinstein will control hands, 
arms and head, but the immediate purpose of his 
work is hygienic rather than musical." 

I had executed a long and complicated series of 
most difficult and fatiguing exercises under Rubin- 
stein's instruction just before the hour that had 
been appointed for my husband to transmit a lec- 
ture whose fascinating title made me impatient for 
it. My husband exhorted as follows: 

"Do not think of the lecture at all; think of 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 143 

those already received if you like; but do not specu- 
late on what is to follow. Empty your mind of all 
thought. This will be the best condition for receiv- 
ing exactly what I wish to say in a quite unmodified 
form." 

I have thus tried first to indicate Rubinstein's 
relation to me, because, contrary to my expecta- 
tion, it was consciously established earlier than was 
that of Pere Conde, whom I then regarded for two 
reasons as of prior importance — first, my desire for 
restoration to health was incomparably stronger 
than my desire to become sensitive to music, a pur- 
pose never until after August nth, 1902, conceived 
of; second, my conviction that health was a pos- 
sible attainment was at this time hardly stronger 
than that music was an impossible one. I had, 
therefore, been eager for Pere Conde's work to 
begin; and was curious about the personality and 
the life on the Ether ic Plane of the priest-physician. 
However, after having installed my masseuse and 
secured my vapor bath cabinet, he did not for six 
days go beyond transmitting formal directions for 
their daily use; but on August twentieth he gave 
his first instructions about food : 

"Tell your wife to eat only cereals and fruit, not 
any vegetable, whether grown above or below the 
ground, certainly none grown below. Tell her to 
take the un fermented juices of fruits with bread 



ri 4 4 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and nuts and to eat always less and less. If she will 
eat less and assimilate what she eats she will be 
much stronger. When she has had a month of this 
stiff regimen she may try what she now thinks a 
simple diet, and if she enjoys it, she may resume it; 
but one month of what I now prescribe will have 
done so much for her that she will no more go back 
to the fish pots or to roots, on any account, than she 
will to the flesh pots which she abandoned nearly 
six years ago, as she still supposes, of her own ac- 
cord, but, as you know, because of suggestion from 
this plane. Tell her on alternate nights when the 
masseuse is here to take a quick bath of hot water, 
followed by a cold bath, followed by the massage; 
with much stretching, much rubbing and also much 
deep breathing. Tell her to commit herself to my 
manipulation after our prayers every night. In this 
will be little manipulation, but on this plane much 
concentration, during which she is to yield always 
to any physical impulse she may have. Tell her 
during these exercises to contemplate herself as 
well and strong." 

My husband added : 

"These baths and exercises will, I am assured, 
expel from your system the poison with which it is 
now charged. 

"Pere Conde says that it is most important that 
you be very careful and abstemious during this 
transformation of the atoms of your body which 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 145 

is now in progress. The Pere adds that after this 
period of transformation and of cell opening is 
over you can return to your usual diet or even to 
a more abundant one without injury, but that this 
period is very critical; that to take you through it 
successfully will help you all the remainder of your 
life, so the sacrifice is not too great for what will 
result from it. . . 

"If you could only drop the burden of care about 
the business, it would help much. This task re- 
quires an unoccupied mind. To receive and to 
transmit make a great draft on that part of your 
structure which is more delicate and more complex 
even than the nervous system, viz. : on the magnetic 
centers. 

"As soon as this heavy discipline is over, I will 
see that many friends talk with you, or write to 
you directly; for one of its results will be your in-* 
creased receptivity and your ability to establish 
rapport at will. Just now forces that you do not 
realize at all are about you helping to prepare you 
for this." 

To an incredulous protest which this last remark 
drew from me came this response : 

"Death is larger life; but it is a difficult thing to 
realize at the high tide of mortal vigor, and really 
every one who comes and every one that each comer 
leaves behind has to solve the problem of continuing 



i 4 6 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

existing relations; but there are those Connected 
with us prior to our birth who continue their serv- 
ices to us on whatever plane we may be until all 
of their obligations to us are discharged; and our 
unconsciousness of their ministrations does not 
diminish their effort, although its efficiency would be 
increased by our consciousness." 

The foregoing indicates the character and the 
essential content of my psychic experience between 
August fourteenth and August twenty-eighth, when 
a change came. 

There suddenly arose in my consciousness one 
who announced himself as my first helper in psychic 
matters. He warned me not to expect him to dis- 
cuss philosophy only; said that when on earth he 
had been obliged to discuss many small matters of 
the kind in regard to which he hoped to be helpful 
to me. With this introduction, he abruptly asked 
my intentions concerning a certain pupil. As if in 
answer to my surprise at this unexpected turn in his 
discourse, he added: 

"That is very personal, but are you not a person ? 
Is she not a person ? 'What is a person ?' you ask ; 
a very wise inquiry. A person is that kind of ag- 
gregation of matter which combined with substance 
and organized in a unit leaves nothing to be given 
to mass. 'What is mass ?' Ask a potter who han- 
dles clay in mass when he moulds a vessel. Yes, like 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 147 

every mortal, you have a guide who has attended 
you since birth and even before. We never know 
who our particular guides are, so long as we are on 
earth; i. e., we do not know them by name. We 
may know their characters and may indeed be con- 
scious of their presence, as you were conscious of 
my arrival when without announcement I came to- 
night. The guide's office is to lead his charge into 
the assigned path and help him accomplish his high- 
est possible destiny. A part of one's destiny is in- 
deed the helper whose appointment before his dis- 
ciple's birth makes him responsible for much in his 
disciple's life," 

At the time that this helper entered my conscious- 
ness and made the foregoing communication, his 
words seemed to me irrelevant ; his existence doubt- 
ful (although his personality was striking, power- 
ful and clearly perceived) ; and the whole incident 
purposeless if not bizarre. I recount it because the 
passing years have interpreted and confirmed every 
remark — have revealed the contemporary sig- 
nificance and permanent value of the instructions 
and have established the speaker in my list of per- 
manent, vigilant and patient friends. 

For two nights I felt rather than heard the in- 
structions of my most lately perceived helper; and 
simultaneously I executed unprecedently severe 
exercises under Rubinstein's direction and submitted 
to the vigorous but reluctantly administered mas- 



148 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

sage which, at Pere Conde's command, I exacted 
from my attendant. Finally I realized that these 
extraordinary experiences presaged a crisis. 

On August thirty-first, as I prepared to receive 
a letter from my husband, he said: 

"Take a pencil that will require less strength. The 
words must flow like water, and they will when the 
channel is cut a little deeper. You must not pause, 
you must not think. Thought will kill expression. 
Think beforehand and between times if you will, 
but when you write for us let your mind be as 
empty as possible. You meet with us to get filled. 
If you bring your mind already filled, we can pour 
nothing in." 

My pencil faltered. 

"Handle your pencil without hesitation. You are 
to write thousands, nay millions, of pages, and 
there must be no halting for a word or for an idea. 

"Take the magnetized board and press it on your 
head. Then observe, follow and describe the im- 
pulses that seem to be communicated. These ex- 
periments are made by our best magnetists under 
the most careful guidance and to the highest ends." 

I did as directed and my mind was thus taken 
through a great number of unrelated exercises and 
many non-consecutive repetitions of them. The 
rapport established at last was such that I seemed 
to feel my husband's thoughts as if impressed di- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 149 

rectly on my brain with indescribable rapidity and 
with an accuracy which made my verbal (vocal) 
report entirely satisfactory. I was now told that 
the immediate purpose of all these unusual exercises 
was to secure a condition in which I could receive 
a letter of instruction from Pere Conde directly, 
i. e., without my husband's agency. 

The advantage of such direct communication 
was thus explained: 

"If Pere Conde £an write directly, instead of 
through me, you will find enough difference be- 
tween his method and mine — if I may use the ex- 
pression between his hand and mine, though I do 
not refer to the physical formation of the letters, 
but to the felt difference between his influence and 
mine — to establish our separate entities, and this 
will confirm my identity. If, after making an effort, 
he can neither control your mind to receive his di- 
rections, nor your hand to write independent of 
your own mind's guidance, then he will dictate to 
my mind and I shall write for him until we have 
by further experiment established rapport between 
you. 

" 'Now, Pere Conde/ added my husband, 'my 
wife will be glad to receive a letter from you.' " 

After several pages of illegible scrawls there ap- 
peared these words : 

"I wish if possible to write in French/' 



ISO NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

The pencil glided rapidly over the paper, leaving 
in French not what I had expected to receive — 
directions relating to the care of my health — but an 
analysis of my husband's character, and an outline 
of the plan that they had together matured for aid- 
ing each other in my instruction and my develop- 
ment. One statement made by the Pere in this 
connection I felt so impossible that my mind in- 
voluntarily opposed it. This unintended resistance 
caused me to withdraw my hand. With what seemed 
a gentle but compelling pressure the Pere resumed 
its use, saying that what I had denied as incredible 
would soon be proved true (an assertion supported 
by subsequent experience). Then he dropped the 
subject and wrote in French* two pages of direc- 
tions about the care of my health. 

This important date, August thirty-first, was 
marked by an equally significant change in my re- 
lations to Rubinstein, who wrote: 

"The piano must be purchased at once without a. 
single day's further delay ; it must be placed in your 
own room, by that one of the west windows which is 
nearest your bed. It is important that you have a 
good instrument. When you go to the music rooms 
to purchase, I shall help you select it." 



*I know French well enough to read with facility 
and to write a letter on any subject with whose matter I am 
familiar, but Pere Conde then and since through a voluminous 
correspondence used many terms unfamiliar to me, but whose 
meanings always came with the word. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 1513 

My husband confirmed these directions, but my 
skepticism yielded slowly to his urgency and finally 
he made this concession: 

"Yes, you may ask the advice of Mrs. Hunter,* 
who does of course know what is good for a be- 
ginner to practise on, one who must play by herself 
several hours every day until her fingers are per- 
fectly flexible; you may ask her advice, but I am 
sure you will find that Rubinstein selects your in- 
strument." 

In reply to my objections to purchasing a piano 
on account of its heavy cost, my husband again 
assured me that he had perfect confidence in Rubin- 
stein's ability to help me make a very favorable con- 
tract with the dealers in pianos and also in his abil- 
ity to put in my way unexpected opportunities for 
meeting the payments as they should fall due. 

At this point I will say that all came about as im- 
plied in the foregoing paragraph. I made the pur- 
chase very conscious of Rubinstein's dominating 
presence and of his controlling influence in the whole 
transaction, but the story of purchase and payment 
will be told in a supplement to this chapter. 

This incident stimulated my desire to know more 
of Rubinstein and of my husband's acquaintance 
with him, and I refused to wait longer for informa- 
tion often promised but always postponed. I had 



*One of the teachers of piano in the Classical School. 



152 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

naturally supposed that Rubinstein's interest in me 
had been awakened by my husband, but now I re- 
ceived a long letter, from which I quote those para- 
graphs which either at the time interested me most 
or have since been proved the most significant. 

"September ist, 1902, 10 p. m. 
"The Library. 

"I date this letter carefully, for I regard it an 
important one. Soon after you had begun under 
my direction to sit with Miss G. in the hope of 
acquiring the art of automatic writing, Rubinstein 
approached me with a petition to be permitted to 
control your hands with a view to directing your 
piano practise. I assured him that you were not 
musical and that you never indulge in piano prac- 
tise, whereupon he told me that he had for a long 
time been trying to find some one through whom 
he could demonstrate the possibility of the exercise 
of a controlling influence from the Apres-mort 
Plane on one still living on the Avant-mort Plane; 
that he had for some time been drawn to observe 
you, and that since he had been able to observe your 
mind in periods of quiet concentration, he had be- 
come convinced that he can produce music either 
through the jcpntrol of your physical organism or 
through teaching you to produce music with intel- 
ligent purpose yourself. . . . 

"Well, I also was much astonished, but I have 
witnessed so much experimentation through the 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 153 

medium of etheric magnetism that I consented, after 
stipulating certain conditions, to introduce Rubin- 
stein to you. . . . 

"The conditions are two: that he shall never ex- 
haust you by practise, and that always at the close 
of every lesson he shall replenish your forces. 
Rubinstein is a great psychic and I understand that 
no one is more skilled than he in the art of mani- 
festation through the use of ether. He has a won- 
derful personality; you will be curiously sympa- 
thetic with him as you know him better. You are 
really much alike; although your expression has 
been along lines which he scorns; and his in music, 
of which you know nothing. This experiment has 
already attracted much attention on this plane, for 
temporarily Rubinstein has abandoned his other 
work to devote himself exclusively to you. When- 
ever you can give the time, he will teach you, give 
you physical exercises and direct your piano prac- 
tise. When you can not give the time, he will be 
generating and transmitting magnetism for your 
use. . . . 

"Rubinstein was of Jewish extraction on his 

mother's side; . Consult a cyclopedia, 

you will find this to be true; and he tells me what 
I had not before realized, but what I think true, 
that you are curiously open to the influences of his 



I was moved by all this information and I felt a 



154 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

'deep sympathy with this master which has never 
suffered ebb; never have I been so situated that I 
could meet any but the smallest fraction of his de- 
mands, but, in the years, I have grown to feel that 
acquaintance with this great soul is a high privilege 
and to know that contact with his personality is as 
energizing as contact with an electric dynamo. 

When my husband ceased writing of this master, 
I expressed regret that the hour set for me to retire 
had arrived, and was instantly told : 

"You will not retire to-night. We shall magnetize 
you so that you will not need sleep, i. e., so that 
you will lose sleep without feeling it ; but afterward 
we must make it up ; for sleep is now one condition 
particularly indispensable to the development of 
concentration. The generators have poured mag- 
netism upon you in streams. You have such ab- 
sorbent power that you seem never to get all you 
could use, but you will be perfectly sustained and 
must be wide awake, for an important decision is 
to be made to-night." 

It transpired that "the important decision" 
was in what condition I should receive the instruc- 
tions and ministrations of Pere Conde and Rubin- 
stein. I was told that the work of both could be 
done much better and more rapidly, were I willing 
to pass into "a state of trance" to receive and to 
execute orders — that by this method the physical 
restoration could be as complete, possibly more so, 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 155 

than if treatment were given when I was awake and 
in my usual state; but, in the latter condition, al- 
though I should "experience much difficulty and 
what will seem to you hardship," instructions would 
accompany treatment, and I should be able largely 
to increase my intelligence about the body and its 
care. I was assured that if Rubinstein's services 
were received while I was in a trance state music 
would be an almost immediate attainment; that, if 
I received his help in my normal condition, music 
would become a conscious achievement, requiring" 
much time, almost infinite labor and the severest 
preliminary exercises long continued for the 
preparation of my body. 

For me there was but one answer to this proposi- 
tion. Always I had refused to shirk pain by in- 
voking unconsciousness even by the mild measure 
of taking laughing gas to lull the torture of a tooth's 
extraction. The possibility of being overcome in a 
trance was inexpressibly repulsive. I already loved 
and revered my new friends. My confidence in my 
husband was absolute. They all apparently favored 
the trance and I was grieved to disappoint them; 
but the integrity of my own personality was to me 
even more important ; perhaps it was foolish to think 
that the retention of consciousness through what- 
ever experience might come to one was essential to 
such integrity, but to me it seemed so. Moreover, 
I wanted to have the benefit in every-day normal 
life of whatever I might learn through my great 



156 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

masters, to whom, granted the retention of normal 
consciousness, I agreed to yield as perfect an 
obedience as the limitations of my own powers, my 
circumstances and my occupations would permit. 

My decision was accepted, and, as I subsequently 
learned, with deep satisfaction on the part of my 
teachers. Continuing the night's work, my husband 
wrote : 

"Only three weeks ago and we were rejoicing 
in this new method of communication that had just 
been given us; now we must commence working 
for another which will make this seem slow and 
prosaic. . . . 

"You must hold yourself sacred for this complex 
work. To be sacred you must be consecrated. No 
evil thought must find an instant's lodging in the 
mind that seeks growth. You must love, love, love, 
love, the world even as Christ loved it and gave 
Himself for it; like Him you must be willing to 
give yourself for it. Pere Conde, Rubinstein and 
I shall all unite in praying for you. This for Rubin- 
stein is almost a new experience. He is not very 
religious, but his service to you is helping him." 

I resented this; for five years I Had been urged 
to study science, and now that some result from 
my feeble efforts to do so seemed at hand, it ap- 
peared that my new helpers and my first adviser 
were lapsing from science into superstition. All 
this and much more I said, confessing that I had 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 157 

been greatly bewildered by the frequent references 
to prayer with which Pere Conde's instruction had 
been garnished. To these protests my husband re- 
plied : 

"I still say study science, but I add that the rela- 
tion of the soul to spirit and the relation of the 
detached excarnate spirit to its origin, i. e. t to what 
is commonly named God, which is the whole sub- 
ject-matter of religion, is also within the domain 
of science; but instruction in nominal religion is 
not our present task. The next step in your double 
task of becoming possessed of health and of music, 
and one that will promote equally both efforts is 
to replace writing by hearing. We have so much 
to say to you that to write, (even with speed made 
possible by the magnetic etheric current,) is in- 
tolerable. You must acquire clair audience. 

"We shall all unite in magnetizing you. You are 
to close your eyes, open your ears and listen as 
hard as you can. We shall continue to write all 
matters needed for record, but the new method is 
to be opened up and speech is to supersede writing, 
because quicker, safer, more certainly accurate and 
certainly more convenient.' ' 

From this date forward Rubinstein Was con- 
stantly entreating me to listen, a process which he 
thus explained: 

"Listening is the pressing of the soul against 



158 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

the button that rings the call-bell on the Etheric 
Plane whence comes all music." 

On that and immediately succeeding nights I had 
many prescribed exercises in both listening and 
looking ; my husband wasf very anxious that I 
should hear his voice without the aid of a trumpet 
or any other mechanical device for conveying vibra- 
tions; and in all the exercises in looking he was 
particular to urge me to distinguish between his 
face as I remembered it and as it would be com- 
municated to my vision from the Etheric Plane. 
When I began to hear I was afraid that the sounds 
were fancied — conjured by my own mind. 

"It is in one sense your own mind; it is through 
your mind enlightened by the knowledge I have 
brought." 

Miss G., who had experienced great disappoint- 
ments in her relations with the Etheric Plane, had 
warned me against putting too much confidence in 
my new helpers. Noting this, my husband urged 
me to resist fear as "the most paralyzing of all 
emotions," and to put aside suspicion, "which would 
deprive labor of fruitage," but at the same time he 
added : 

"Observe most carefully every experience and use 
all the intelligence you can command, remembering, 
however, that fear and suspicion are never intel- 
ligent. Do not allow fear to come between you and 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 159 

those who would help you to a larger knowledge of 
yourself. Do not become skeptical; faith is the food 
of the soul; if this sounds too religious, I can add 
with equal truth, faith is the indispensable atti- 
tude of mind of all who promote the progress of 
the material world through scientific discovery." 

I was much more anxious lest I might deceive 
myself than that I might be deceived by those on 
the Etheric Plane. I often feared that the thoughts 
that I wrote down might after all have originated 
in my own mind — in vanity, pride, egotism or am- 
bition. Those doubts, whenever expressed to the 
three who had now become my constant compan- 
ions, were put aside by all with equal firmness, with 
the reminder that my own mind, far from originat- 
ing these ideas, did not credit them, but persistently 
questioned their validity. 

After Conde's first direct letter, my husband 
wrote that just as the writing which a month 
before had been impossible to me now seemed not 
only perfectly natural but so indispensable that 
neither of us could realize how we had ever sup- 
ported our separation without it, so the music, when- 
ever it should arrive, would seem to be my native 
and necessary mode of expression. 

He further assured me that music and health 
would both result from the expert application and 
use of the same element upon which automatic writ- 
ing depends, and added : 



160 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"The greater difficulty of music over writing is 
largely due to the almost immeasurably larger task 
of magnetizing a piano as compared with that of 
magnetizing a pencil and a sheet of paper. The 
tasks undertaken by both Conde and Rubinstein are 
Herculean, but they will both be accomplished. 
Trust both implicitly. " 

The first week in September my piano was duly 
installed and placed in exact accord with the 
curious directions received. I say curious, for at 
least any one of three large rooms, my drawing- 
room, living-room or library, would have seemed to 
afford more suitable as well as more commodious 
quarters. 

My utter ignorance of a piano was manifested 
when, thinking that something was wrong with my 
instrument, I sent to the firm of whom I had pur- 
chased it for an inspector. I knew this gentleman 
very well, having had frequent occasion to consult 
him about pianos used in the school. 

The complaint I now made and the questions I 
asked exposed my ignorance to a degree that morti- 
fied me, although I had said frankly, when pur- 
chasing the instrument, that I knew nothing about 
it, having never before touched the keys of one. 

Later when I told my husband how embarrassed 
I had been, he replied that he and Rubinstein had 
both been present and had been much amused; that 
they could have prevented the incident, but it suited 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 161 

their purpose to have the novelty of my new inter- 
est and my utter ignorance of music known. 

On the morning of September ninth, at the end 
of my first all-night vigil, my husband wrote : 

"The experiments made thus far are but faintly 
indicative of the regimen that will be prescribed 
when the work under your contract begins; you 
know Pere Conde's treatment will continue until 
either entire cure followed by perfect health, or 
death arrives. Health of mind — normality, which 
does not mean the general average of human condi- 
tion as most people suppose, but a really enlightened 
consciousness of what constitutes being, such nor- 
mality, i. e., such an awakened mind, will accom- 
pany your physical healing; and physical healing 
must come if the real you is to stay on earth much 
longer. 

"It will be a hard struggle to get the time to take 
the piano practise and the physical exercises, and 
equally hard to submit to the severe discipline which 
will be necessary if you use the help that alone will 
permit you to finish your earthly work— but how 
do you feel this morning?" 

The night had gone with the speed of thought — 
like a dream. Perhaps I should have thought it 
had been spent in dreaming but for the several 
octavo tablets covered with records of what had 
filled its hours. I felt perfectly well and ready for 
the day's work. 



i&2 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

It was a heavily burdened day with several hours 
of close office work and a business trip by rail of 
seventy miles from which I did not return until mid- t 
night. Then, through my husband, I received ad- 
vice from Pere Conde that included directions for 
a magnetic bath which was followed by very strenu- 
ous physical exercises that could not have been 
impelled by a lesser motor than Rubinstein, who 
concluded his work at five a. m. by an hour of 
finger exercises without sound on the piano. 

That night many communications were received 
through my tireless husband, and at last came these 
words : 

"On Sept. ioth, 1902. This is the last night — 
No, not of your novitiate, you are too impatient; 
it is the last night of our month of direct restoration 
to each other, which has been an introduction to 
your novitiate which will commence to-morrow 
night. You thought you were through? You 
were going to be well now ? I tried to prevent your 
thinking so. I have told you that there is nothing] 
supernatural, nothing miraculous in what has been' 
or in what is to be. Your experience will continue 
to mean growth. In your case it is upon this growth 
that health depends. In your case it is upon this 
growth and its resulting health that music depends, 
and growth implies effort; it implies scientific 
knowledge and the application of this knowledge to 
personal needs. I am not presiding at a miracle, 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 163 

but am superintending or (it would be more exact 
to say) observing a further step in your education. 
To grow means to struggle. Persevere in the dis- 
cipline, which will, I think, be very rigid. Be faith- 
ful to obey every direction that will be given you 
by Pere Conde whom you know well enough to 
trust, and perform every exercise that will be set 
by Rubinstein. You find us almost palpable to- 
night. The veil between us is getting very thin 
and will soon be rent by a perfected perception. 

"After this your three chief present helpers — my- 
self, Pere Conde and Rubinstein — will each demand 
a separate book for his letters and thus your private 
tuition under each one of us will begin. 

"We shall all require of you as a basis for our 
respective instructions, six exercises. What are 
these ? 

"work. wait. love. pray, serve, trust. 

"Remember, the novitate begins to-morrow 
night/' 

The Purchase of the Piano 

My disinclination to increasing my obligations by 
the purchase of what I regarded as for me a per- 
fectly useless luxury continued and having persuaded 
my husband to allow me to use one of the school 
pianos for a month at least in testing my musical 
abilities, whose existence I did not credit, I arranged 
that a piano should be removed from the school 
gymnasium to my residence on August seventeenth. 

On the evening of August sixteenth, I felt a per-* 



i64 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

turbed atmosphere in the library. The first letter 
was from Rubinstein: 

"Madam, you must purchase a piano and not com- 
pel me to waste time and strength in magnetizing 
an old instrument that is to be used for only a 
month." 

I felt distinctly the emotion of grieved indigna- 
tion which accompanied the words; for a few mo- 
ments it seemed to interrupt his communication, 
which presently concluded thus : 

"Change your order to-morrow morning. Buy 
the piano I have indicated and to-morrow night I 
will give you a lesson on it." 

My husband then wrote: 

"I ask you at once to countermand the directions 
you gave yesterday for the removal of the piano 
from the gymnasium and buy the one at the deal- 
er's in light mahogany case described by Rubinstein. 
You will see the wisdom of this within twenty-four 
hours." 

The next day I visited the music store and looked 
at pianos — but could not decide to purchase. That 
evening Rubinstein wrote: 

"I want to speak of the piano we saw to-day. 
To-morrow morning, when you must visit the store 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 165 

again, the gentleman will show you another superior 
to the best one he showed to-day. That better one, 
already described by me, is the one which I wish 
placed in your room for these reasons: the case 
is more harmonious with your room; the tone is 
better and the keys respond a little more easily to 
the touch." 

In response to a question concerning the com- 
parative merit of two instruments which had been 
referred to by a salesman, of which the one in oak 
case was cheaper by over one hundred dollars, and 
which on that account I wished to take if I were 
obliged to purchase at all, Rubinstein wrote: 

"I do not know whether the instrument I have 
directed you to get is better in itself than the one 
in the oak case ; but it is better for you. 1A! • — , 



a new ■ , is the best that you can get 

now; and about the price? That, as the saying is, 
will pay for itself. I shall select it, i. e., shall iden- 
tify to you the exact one I have described; for I 
have selected it, as you know. 

"Your husband has promised to pay for it, i. e., 
to enable you to have the means of meeting the 
^conditions of the instrument of purchase which! 
stipulates them, as the terms mature quite outside 
the income of the school. 

"This is indeed the first severe test of your con- 
fidence in us, *, e., in the validity of our relations; 



ri"66 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

in the reliability of our promises; and in the wis- 
dom of pur decisions/ ' 

I followed these directions. The contract of pur- 
chase was generous as to time, and although the 
later installments were not promptly paid, they 
all finally were and from the proceeds of unexpected 
engagements, quite foreign to my profession or to 
my previous public interests. For example; one 
installment was paid by the fee received for a mag- 
azine article on "Music as a Factor of Education," 
and another by an article on "Modern Mechanical 
Music" (such as is furnished by the pianola, etc.). 



CHAPTER VII 

MASTERS UNMAKE AND BEGIN REMAKING PHYSICAL 

ORGANISM. EATS AND SLEEPS LITTLE, BUT 

GROWS CONSTANTLY STRONGER 

AS I CONSIDERED the experiences of the 
month, I realized that my perceptions had been 
sharpened on the Physical as well as on the Etheric 
Plane. The proof of this improvement on the lat- 
ter rested chiefly in my clear differentiation of the 
following methods of receiving communications 
which constitute an ascending series : 

(a) Dictations transmitted by my husband, — 1st, 
through his use of my hand; 2nd, through the di- 
rect influence of his mind on mine — my hand in 
this case being guided by my own mind. 

(b) Dictations made directly to me by my help- 
ers, — ist, by their guidance of my hand; 2nd, by 1 
their felt guidance of my mind. 

Pere Conde's first long letter communicated in- 
dependent of my husband's aid (except as he 
was always present to assist the magnetic condi- 
tions) seemed to have been suggested by complaints 
I had made to my husband which he had evidently 
overheard. Of the major part of this letter in 
French, dated September first, I give a translation. 

"My child, you ought to have a peculiar sensa- 
tion for you are permitted to have an exceptional 1 

167 



i68 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

experience; now I beg you to listen to me while I 
make an important communication regarding your 
health. 

"In these days you are experiencing extraordi- 
nary conditions and you ought to follow an equally 
extraordinary method of life. It is necessary that 
you eat very little and that you sleep very pro- 
foundly during the few hours when sleep can be 
permitted. We desire to fill you with magnetisms. 
The other evening when your friend was here we 
made a good beginning, but to complete this task 
we must have the best possible conditions; your 
body must become as supple and soft as that of an 
infant while your muscles become as strong as those 
of an athlete. We are working to unmake you and 
to remake you — and that we may unmake you it 
is necessary that you fast much of the time. ,, 

To my protest that it would be utterly impossible 
for me to be more abstemious than I had already 
become and continue to work at all, the Pere 
replied : 

"I assure you that if my advice should be per- 
fectly followed you would find your body growing 
perceptibly stronger and your mind becoming clear- 
er from day to day." 

I urged that I was surrounded by friends and 
should soon be in daily association with colleagues 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 169 

who would watch me closely, and that I could not 
fast without exciting comment. 

"You are correct in thinking that it is better to 
excite the curiosity of no one unnecessarily; conse- 
quently I shall permit you to eat all you wish when 
you dine with your niece this evening; but from 
this time until the beginning of your school, dis- 
continue the early breakfast; and for the second 
breakfast take the same kinds of food which you 
have been accustomed to take for your first but not 
nearly so much. At dinner eat moderately — only 
vegetables and fruits — no bread and no desserts ex- 
cept fruit." 

I expressed fear lest my strength might be re- 
duced by so slim a diet. 

"You have no need to fear. You are not so 
strong as you must become ; but strength will come 
after the elements of your body are changed. You 
must continue your baths ; and you must take much 
exercise under the direction of the energetic Mas- 
ter; walk daily in the open air; and when in the 
house remain in your own room as much as possi- 
ble clad in the lightest garments; this is very im- 
portant; you must also habituate yourself to deep 
breathing. 

"The task of bringing your health to a condition 
of absolute perfection is very important and — not 



i;o NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

so difficult. You Have by nature a well built body 
not but its present condition must be enormously 
improved. You will become more sensitive in all 
respects; hence more sensitive to pain, but you will 
also be much stronger. Your nerves will be like 
iron and such healthy nerves never suffer." 

I remarked : "Strength is derived from food, and 
I must have food." 

"You are right ; but now for a season you should 
be relatively abstinent; after this is over you will 
never desire the same food that you have hitherto 
taken; you will again enjoy a generous diet; but for 
a few weeks it is necessary to guard you at every 
point; for the task of your restoration is enormous." 

Again incredulity assailed me, and the fears I 
expressed as Pere Conde enumerated the specific 
improvements in my condition which he had under- 
taken to secure, may be inferred from his reply : 

"No, these thoughts that I have communicated 
are mine, not yours. You imagine neither them 
nor me. They are facts. I am a man of experience, 
and I assure you that I am astonished when I con- 
sider what is being done for you and my part in it. 
You are my patient ; and I ? I am your physician, 
and at the same time your nurse. You have been 
very obedient; and already you are much better. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 171 

"As your priest, every night, every morning and 
many times each day, I pray for you and with you. 
. . . Now I bless you and you can give your 
attention to Rubinstein.'' 

From the Pere's second direct letter, dated Sep- 
tember second, I quote only the most important 
paragraphs : 

"Eat nothing at present that is matured below 
the ground. Every morsel of such food that you 
eat retards your progress. Your progress in spirit- 
ual knowledge is your present most important in- 
terest. . . . 

"You have need of as much magnetism as you 
can retain and the flow of etheric magnetism into 
your body is impeded by dark clothing which is a 
non-conductor of such magnetism and by heavy gar- 
ments even although white." 

I expressed anxiety lest I should take cold if 
I sat so lightly clothed. 

"It is impossible for you to take cold while we 
are giving you these magnetisms. Perfect health 
is an indispensable condition for your success in 
the double task of securing clear perception and 
music. These you will have if you have the 
strength to resist the temptations of the flesh. This 



172 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

is the sole reason why I have undertaken to give 
you these counsels from day to day. You must 
sleep undisturbed by anxieties and I undertake to 
give you calm, sound slumber." 

Pere Conde confirmed my husband's assurances 
that this was a most important day, dating my 
birth into a higher plane of consciousness. Pere 
Conde urged abstinence as a condition of this event, 
and said that he had an army of over one thousand 
people generating magnetism for me. 

"This magnetism is being poured out upon you ; 
you will be bathed in it; transformed by it." 

September fourth the Pere wrote : 

"The magnetisms that we are giving you contain 
all the elements of your body but so well blended 
that their resultant is the essence of life itself; that 
is to say of vitality; and while you take these you 
have no need of the same quantities of food that 
you have ordinarily taken — if you will eat very, 
very little during next week you will find yourself 
much more open to the influence of these invisible 
(*. e., to the physical vision invisible) beings who 
surround you. I desire to instruct you in the laws of 
health as well as to restore you to its state — be- 
cause it is necessary for you not only to become 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 173 

well but to become very vigorous, and to remain 
so." 

On September eleventh Pere Conde directed me 
to drop breakfasts entirely until after the opening 
of the Classical School on September seventeenth. 
From the way in which this order was given I in- 
ferred that after that date breakfasts would be re- 
sumed. Instead of this, however, on September 
eighteenth, I was directed- to drop luncheons also. 
I dined daily (the kinds and quantities of foods to 
be taken being definitely prescribed) until October 
tenth, when I was directed thereafter until further 
orders to dine only on alternate days, Tuesdays, 
Thursdays and Saturdays being specified; and to 
take no other food between dinners. 

During this time and throughout the subsequent 
months of what I call my "fast," Sunday was a 
feast day; i. e., on each Sunday I was directed to 
take three meals; each definitely prescribed and, in 
comparison with what I had been accustomed to, 
very spare repasts. 

From September eleventh Pere Conde met me 
every morning in my own room immediately upon 
my going thither which was never earlier than half 
past nine o'clock, nor later than half past ten. Up 
to that hour I worked in my office preparing for the 
next day's class-room requirements. To nine-thirty 
I was subject to interruption by any residence pupil 
who desired to see me. 



174 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

By saying "Pere Conde met me," I mean that 
from September eleventh as soon as I seated my- 
self at my writing table in my chamber, Pere Conde 
placed himself at my left hand; his head and face 
were clearly visible, but his figure though some- 
times dimly outlined, was usually quite concealed. 
I took his book and pencil and wrote at his careful 
verbal dictation the directions for my physical care 
during the next twenty-four hours. These direc- 
tions concerned food, drink, exercise, baths, massage 
and sleep ; and they invariably concluded with an ex- 
hortation to prayer. Pere Conde presented a noble 
head topped with a skull-cap of the kind worn by 
priests to cover the tonsure. His face was very 
intellectual and refined ; his ordinarily grave expres- 
sion was occasionally softened by a smile. If I 
made a mistake in recording his directions, he 
would correct it instantly and with a precise care. 
During the first month of my formal fast his com- 
munications were always in French and usually 
limited to the subjects above indicated. Sometimes 
at the conclusion of the prescription there would 
be added a paragraph of explanation or encourage- 
ment. The latter consisted of assurances that I 
should never be requested or induced to do anything 
that would not contribute to my well being; united 
with promises that the nutrition which I sacrificed 
by abstemiousness should be more than supplied by 
magnetisms generated expressly to meet my exact 
needs. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING [175 

All communications from Pere Conde concerning 
other matters during this first month came through 
my husband who was present during the Pere's 
visits, and from whom at the end of the first month, 
i. e., on October eleventh, I learned that the Pere, 
having now concluded his general observation of 
me, would the next day proceed to a professional 
examination and report its results. 

From the long letter received directly from Pere 
Conde October twelfth, I quote: 

"I have to-day examined your body; not only its 
parts, members and interior organs as they appear 
when united in your fleshly mantle — but as these 
would appear were your body dissected, and I find 
it sound throughout; somewhat time-stained and 
here and there scarred by some labor or accident, 
but on the whole sound." 

This was good news indeed, and I, always im- 
patient of being ill and eager to prove the doctors 
and the chemist in the wrong in their diagnosis, 
said: "Then I never have had that disease!" but 
Pere Conde restrained me: 

"All of the statements and the fears of the phy- 
sicians and the chemists were more than well found- 
ed. You were filled with poison: your system is 
still charged with poison, but by the regimen fol- 
lowed for two months now, a regimen which you 



176 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

can support only because of the steady supplies of 
magnetism that are generated for you, you have 
arrived at a point where I can predicate soundness. 
Your ability to bear the regimen and to appropriate 
safely these powerful magnetisms has been test- 
ed, — to this is due your progress to this date. Medi- 
cine as ordinarily practised on earth is an attempt 
to prevent consequences from following certain 
wrong actions and habits of life. t Your progress 
will be proportioned with mathematical nicety to 
your efforts to cease from such actions and to 
change such habits. In proportion to these and to 
your capacity to absorb and assimilate them you 
will receive a great access of magnetisms; magnet- 
isms will flow in uninterrupted streams." 

On October eighteenth I was told by Pere Conde 
to record his statement that he should not much 
longer dictate words to my mind, only ideas ; knowl- 
edge which I should record in my own phraseology 
in French. I was incredulous; protesting that the 
subject was new, the ideas foreign to my mind and 
to my experience; but he assured me that he had 
determined on this plan and that I would find 
myself able to cooperate with him in its execution. 
He added that he should always reserve the liberty 
to change his orders suddenly and without notice; 
adding : 

"This will finally cure your skepticism becausd 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 177 

it will give you a continuous series of proofs that 
my thoughts are not your thoughts ; 1. e., that these 
directions do not proceed from your mind. I prom- 
ise you that you will attain a remarkable health and 
ultimately complete control of your body." 

To my great satisfaction with this promise the 
Pere replied : 

"You desire the end; but to this end it is neces- 
sary that you gain the ability to subsist without a 
morsel of nourishment except water during an 
entire week and that during that time you work con- 
tinuously. Now I recede to give place to Rubin- 
stein, whose intention it is to continue his instruc- 
tions two hours this night." 

At this time I was greatly disappointed by the 
fact that my husband's letters became few and brief. 
On asking Pere Conde for the explanation of this 
which my husband declined to give, he told me that 
the latter had fixed his desire on oral communica- 
tion and that he would thenceforth as he had him- 
self previously told me, write only what he wished 
recorded with verbal exactness; that personal con- 
versations with him would be by exchange of im- 
pressions and of spoken words; the latter "being 
addressed to my outer ear, through my inner ear, a 
procedure reversing the ordinary method." Pere 
Conde, moreover, told me that my husband's con- 



178 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

tinuous efforts to secure this had fatigued him much 
more than my own new mode of life had exhausted 
me. 

I asked Pere Conde to give me directions about 
food for a longer time in advance as I felt that such 
knowledge would enable me to fortify my mind to 
endurance. 

"I can just now give you directions for food only 
for the next twenty-four hours; but as to some 
other matters my vision is clearer and my directions 
will cover a longer period. There must be provi- 
sion for more prayer, for fasting and prayer go 
always together; and without the latter the former 
will be fruitless of its best results. Tray without 
ceasing/ i. e., let your heart be fixed on the source 
of strength and strength will come." 

At the beginning of November the nights grew 
cool, and in the gossamer clothing which I was 
directed to wear during dictations, lessons, exercises, 
etc., I felt chilled and fearing the effect, I asked 
permission to wear heavier clothing. 

"We wish your only warmth to be that which 
flows from the center of vitality. It is the fear 
of cold of which you must be cured." 

At about the same period I petitioned for a little 
food. In granting permission Pere Conde said : 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 179 

"I shall, however, at the same time suppress your 
appetite so that you may eat it without pleasure. 
You have really been ill a long time without know- 
ing it; you have in the language of your physicians 
on earth not only the 'incurable' disease which they 
diagnosed, but you have another equally 'incurable' 
by their methods, that you know as catarrh, which 
is debilitating and which is one cause of your poor 
eyesight. These and other disorders are the results 
of long years of overwork, anxiety, wrong habits 
in respect to diet, neglect of exercise and of other 
forms of personal neglect — these results are all 

through your system in a diffused ■ poison, 

whose presence is manifested at certain centers of 
the body — not only in this disease which condemned 
you to die — but in periodically recurrent attacks of 
what you call la grippe and nervous headache. The 
accumulated poisons causing these disorders must 
be expelled" 

What interested me most in the foregoing para- 
graph was the intimation that my sadly impaired 
eyesight was due to catarrhal conditions; and I 
asked if my eyes would ever be improved. 

"Certainly. With health will come vision. We 
are working for vision." 

On November first Pere Conde directed me to eat 
nothing for three days. I felt this hard and on 
November second he wrote : 



180 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"The way before you is long, narrow and difficult 
My task is to help you conquer the weakness of the 
flesh." 

Early in November, before the eleventh, which 
in each month indicated some departure, I seemed 
to sense the approach of new influences; these dis- 
turbed me; concentration was difficult; and the 
Pere rinding it impossible to cause me to write cor- 
rectly in French thus summed up my duties: 

"You must receive instruction in French, in music 
and in the culture and training of every member of 
your body, three labors almost equally difficult; but 
the music of which you know nothing depends ab- 
solutely upon, or perhaps it were better to say it 
includes, the bodily exercises; for a perfectly har- 
monious body conditions the music for which you 
are in training." 

Again and again in terminating a lesson which in- 
variably included a prescription of the specific char- 
acter already described, Pere Conde urged me to 
the most perfect obedience to Rubinstein, repeatedly 
declaring : 

"I long for his success as for mine; for his suc- 
cess will be a proof of mine and of much more." 

Another evening prior to November eleventh, 
having finished a letter from Pere Conde, I asked 
him if it would not help me and make me more ac- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 181 

cessible to the influences proceeding from the Eth- 
er ic Plane and to the instructions of my various 
masters on the Etheric and on higher Planes, should 
I read some books of experienced psychics. I con- 
fessed that I had never read such books ; that I had 
never found literature dealing with psychism or 
with any form of occultism attractive; but that I 
was now ready to read anything that he should 
recommend. 

"Both your husband and I know that you are un- 
familiar with these subjects and we are glad of it. 
We both know that you have felt an instinctive re- 
coil from such literature and that it has cost you 
nothing to obey your husband's request to abstain 
entirely from reading spiritualist and psychic re- 
search publications. Now I may tell you that the 
spirit of antagonism to these matters which you 
entertained prior to your own experiences, and the 
spirit of indifference to other people's experiences 
which you still have, have been induced by your 
original guides, who, at least from your birth into 
this period of earth life, knew that this attitude 
which is quite foreign to your real nature and in- 
consistent with your habitual open-mindedness and 
readiness to read in all lines, would make the inde- 
pendent experiences which they knew were reserved 
for you more valuable" 

After some conversation on this, to me, quite new 
aspect of the causes of my attitude which had often 



182 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

seemed singular and contradictory to myself, the 
Pere added : 

"After your physical recuperation has been ex- 
perienced and perfected, this will lead to other still 
more interesting experiences. These you will de- 
scribe, and the book thus produced will be more 
fresh and more instructive if you read nothing until 
after you have written it." 

As November eleventh approached, Pere Conde 
indicated the change which would mark the begin- 
ning of another month thus : 

"Now, we three, your husband, Rubinstein and 
I have united our magnetism in a very vitalizing 
compound whose influence you may describe to me 
when you first perceive it." 

My description was accompanied by illustrations 
in exercises performed in response to impulse. I 
had been informed that such exercises would be 
probably somewhat erratic and surprising, but those 
directing my movements promised that no one 
should be permitted which was either inexplicable 
or unnecessary for the purpose in hand. 

I was sometimes kept working so continuously^ 
and under such strain that I dropped into a sound 
sleep just where I chanced to be, sitting or stand- 
ing as the case might be; and when I awoke in 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 183 

either position, refreshed and eager to resume ex- 
ercises that were so vitalizing, it was always with 
a distinct consciousness or recollection of my period 
of repose and of the sensation of exhaustion that 
had preceded it. 

On one of these occasions Pere Conde told me 
that I had been kept awake and at work "to the 
danger point of fatigue but not beyond it" ; that 
each such severe test of my endurance would in- 
crease this quality; and that the immediate proof of 
this was that I should go through the work of the 
following day and the exercises, instructions and 
labors of the succeeding night "uninterruptedly ac- 
tive for twenty- four hours with my sense of fa- 
tigue." A statement that was perfectly realized. 

On November eleventh I begged Pere Conde to 
tell me the length of my fast. 

"I do not myself know; but I know it will be 
shorter or longer according to the degree of your 
obedience to the smallest detail of my prescriptions. 
There is no caprice in my instructions; only a per- 
fect knowledge of the condition of your entire or- 
ganism and of its need in every part." 

I had experienced so many interior premonitions 
of an impending change that when the eleventh 
passed unmarked by any new experience, I was dis- 
appointed. On November twelfth, as I was record- 
ing Pere Conde's directions in the usual manner, 



184 NEITHER BEKD NOR SLEEPING 

I became suddenly conscious that the dictation had 
ceased and that my writing was continuing; that 
I was in fact recording a prescription which seemed 
to proceed from my own mind. Instantly dropping 
the pencil I told Pere Conde what had happened. 
His reply was that he and his most intimate helpers 
were aware of this ; that it was a goat toward which 
they had directed their efforts; that it meant that 
I had attained a receptivity which would make me 
quite accessible to their directions without the use 
of words; and he reminded me that he had advised 
me of this goal in October. 

The next evening Pere Conde told me that hav- 
ing given proof of my comprehension of the situa- 
tion and of my ability to receive from their minds 
directly, the responsibility would now be shared by 
me, and the restraint which my teachers had thus 
far exercised for me must henceforth be exerted 
by my own will. 

Early in November I had begun to have a per- 
ception of rich and delicate perfumes quite new to 
me. Of this I spoke to no one. By November 
twelfth these had become very strong, and having 
failed by repeated inspection of my external sur- 
roundings to discover their source, I described them 
as clearly as possible and asked for their identifi- 
cation. 

Pere Conde explained that one proceeded from 
a magnetism supplied by my husband which was 
an equivalent for food; that the other accompanied 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 185 

a magnetism furnished by himself which was the 
substitute for repose, and that it was the regularly 
increasing supply of these which explained my di- 
minishing need of food and sleep. 

I was assured that by the conscious use of these 
and other magnetisms which in due time would be 
generated, administered and explained in turn, I 
should acquire "eyes that see" and "ears that hear," 
and that I might by intelligent use of these attain a 
state of mind wherein I should "be able to discern 
the co-existence of events." I demanded an ex- 
planation of this curious phrase and was told : 

"This means that all events already are — but 
not yet precipitated into Time." 

The Pere added : 

"When these powers are possessed and under 
control of your own will, you will receive new tests ; 
for the labors demanded of you in this task of 
rehabilitation in health will be proportioned to the 
aid given you; to the gifts bestowed." 

Late in November on a Saturday afternoon, I had 
a half-hour of sudden extreme weakness; I was 
overcome by a terrible sense of exhaustion accom- 
panied by a depressing fear that this might be the 
result of my abstinence; that I might after all, as 
many of my friends were insistently assuring me, 



186 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

be injuring myself permanently; in short that I 
might be self-deluded. It was a terrible half -hour — 
but it passed as suddenly as it had come and a half- 
hour later, feeling perfectly well, strong and buoy- 
ant, I was on my way to Cincinnati — where I was 
to spend Sunday with Madame Fredin, the head 
of the Alliance Francaise in that city, whose officers 
I had been invited to meet. 

At my first opportunity, which did not occur un- 
til Monday evening, I asked Pere Conde to explain 
the experience. He replied : 

"Record my answer; it marks the end of the first 
half of the disciplinary period of your fast; it was 
a display of what your physical condition would be 
at this time without the support of forces constant- 
ly generated and imparted by your helpers. This 
condition was revealed to you as a test of your faith 
in these helpers and of your fixed determination to 
persevere in the practises they recommend. You 
bore the test. Now what is to follow will be much 
more severe than what has been experienced. 

"The strength to sustain a long and severe fast 
and meantime to continue and to increase severe 
labor does not proceed from the plane called mortal, 
but from the spiritual plane; and for one still in- 
carnated to function even for a few successive hours, 
not to say for a few successive months, on this plane 
it is necessary to control the tongue, the thoughts, 
and to hold one's self continually in an elevated at- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 187 

mosphere. To do this prayer, devout, sincere and 
continuous is one indispensable factor." 

I knew well that it was in respect to prayer that 
I failed most frequently and conspicuously, for, 
while as a means of securing the benefits of a con- 
centrated aspiration I had always respected prayer 
and, under stress, had occasionally resorted to it 
and had realized its calming influence, I had never 
recovered from the surprise, the definite shock, that 
I had experienced on learning that religious exer- 
cises were, if the expression may be pardoned, to 
be a part of my regimen; but such was the fact; 
and on December fourth Pere Conde dictated for 
record the following which indicates the substance 
of the paragraph with which his nightly prescrip- 
tions from this date closed : 

"Now to your bath, which will be followed by 
the attention of your masseuse; then to your physi- 
cal exercises followed by your lesson on the piano, 
both under the direction of your Master, Rubin- 
stein. Then, it will probably be about three o'clock 
of to-morrow morning. Then, before you go to 
bed for a little while, we shall together offer our 
supplications that the Grace of God may accompany 
our labors, helping them to produce the fruits of 
success." 

On the same date he wrote: 



'i88 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"Your vigils and fastings Have only begun. Be- 
fore they are finished you will pass many succes- 
sive nights without sleep; many successive daysi 
without food. Henceforth, every moment of your 
time when you are not actually at work in your office 
or your recitation room will be used for train- 
ing." 

For the next five months this promise was ful- 
filled to the letter, and whenever I was alone for £ 
moment, there came the impulse to exercise; usually] 
the movements were unmistakably dictated by Rub- 
instein, a consciousness of whose vigorous and strik- 
ing personality was simultaneously communicated. 
Finger exercises, placing and exercising the shoul- 
ders, arms and wrists, and the movements of knee, 
ankle and foot in working the pedals of the piano 
were thus taught and time was so conscientiously 
economized by my helpers that frequently before the 
door was closed upon a retiring class, I was per- 
forming one of these exercises in musical gym- 
nastics ; finally this Master's rapport became so per- 
fect that I dictated business letters to my secretary 
by the hour while pacing the office floor, meanwhile 
responding to his silent but always instantly felt 
commands. 

I insert one example of the Pere's reproofs, of 
which I regret being obliged to confess I find more 
than a score in the records of this period, which 
bear permanent witness either to a weak yielding to 
appetite or to a feeble intelligence, which not grasg- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 189 

ing the significance of what seemed trifling details, 
disobeyed through forgetfulness. 

"December 4th, 1902, at 3 '.24 a. m. 

"This night it is my privilege to depart from 
established habit and to talk a little more than I 
ordinarily do of our relations. I find it necessary 
to do this because I find you do not understand why 
it is important for you to obey my smallest, most 
trifling orders. Without doubt it seems to you ar- 
bitrary and ridiculous that I should decide on what 
days you may eat bread and indeed the exact hours 
of those days; but in a very exact sense this is not 
arbitrary for it is not an expression of my will but 
my interpretation of your duty if you would obtain a 
certain result which in its turn becomes an indis- 
pensable condition of that physical restoration which 
we have always in view. . . . 

"I am a physician. It was my principle role in 
distant time, in a country whose people are cele- 
brated for brilliance and for splendid manifesta- 
tions of power. I have collected the experiences of 
that epoch of my existence, have matured them in 
the light of my experience on the planes of life that 
I have known since death, and of my observation 
of incarnate humanity from this plane. 

"I am the instrument appointed to help you pro- 
cure perfect health of body which is impossible 
without an equal health of mind. It is upon trifles 
that both depend. There is no large result that 
floes not groceed from the observation of trifles. 



ipo NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"Now, what are you to drink to-morrow? At 
the usual hour for breakfast three glasses of water, 
very hot and well salted; and, upon your return 
from school at noon, one cup of the same tempera- 
ture and seasoning. During the afternoon you 
should drink two glasses of cold water, one well 
salted, the other without salt; after the dinner hour 
drink two glasses of cold water quite pure, i. e., 
without salt, without medication or flavor of any 
kind. 

"What shall you eat to-morrow? Nothing at 
the ordinary breakfast hour. When you return 
from school a little bread with cheese, or bread and 
a small quantity of any one of the fruits on your 
permitted list. 

"For dinner you may eat sparingly of two per- 
mitted vegetables, and of a salad of fruit dressed 
with oil, lemon and salt. For dessert you may have 
either a baked apple or a few nuts; but not both. 

"These two good meals are sufficient until Fri- 
day when probably you may have a share in the 
dinner. It is now Monday, or rather, although 
Tuesday morning we reckon it as still Monday, 
because your Monday's work is not over, and to-day 
you have had no food. You think that these two 
slight meals on Tuesday will hardly sustain you un- 
til Friday night for the work that is before you. 

"I will now once for all renew a promise in sub- 
stance often made. This promise holds good until, 
in professional language, I shall have 'dismissed 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 191 

your case/ I will furnish you with a force that will 
enable you to abstain from food without difficulty 
and without any sensations of weakness or distress ; 
with a force more than substituting the strength that 
would under ordinary conditions be derived from 
the ordinary quantity of food. This I shall supply 
in exact proportion as by my, orders and by your 
obedience to them, you are deprived of ordinary 
nourishment. 

"Now, do not tell others a word about this period' 
of fasting; you are under the eyes of a large house- 
hold of many colleagues and of many keen-eyed 
children. They will all see you wasting away from 
day to day, and your household observes the cause. 
You may be sure that these do not preserve silence 
about a course and a resulting condition that ex- 
cite curiosity and occasion anxiety; but if you tell 
your friends the particulars of your abstinence and 
maintain that in spite of this you feel perfectly well 
and experience no weakness, they will be unable to 
believe it; because you can not yet tell them how 
in the absence of food and sleep, nutrition and 
rest are provided. Thus your assertions will have 
the air of boasting and every boastful word about 
it must be atoned for by discomfort if not by suffer- 
ing. You perceive what importance I attach to 
trifles.'' 



CHAPTER VIII 

UNEXPECTED AND SENSATIONAL INTRODUCTION OF 

MESMER. HYPNOTISM, HOW TO DETECT AND 

RESIST IT. CURED OF INCREDULITY 

THE preceding chapters of Part II cover the 
first half of the experience of which I am 
trying to give an accurate history. During its sec- 
ond half, there was much repetition of both instruc- 
tions and demonstrations. 

My husband continued to interpret what I did not 
understand as presented by my other teachers; in- 
troduced all but one of my new helpers, and dic- 
tated "for record" during the second half of my 
fast more than two thousand pages. From these 
I select a few that contribute information, suggest 
efforts and desires, or state, imply or assume facts 
and principles not given up to this point, or which 
to my mind elucidate those previously noted. 

Early in December, in explanation of a request* 
he wrote: 

"So long as you hold the pencil in your hand the 
incredulity of the human heart can resist the tes- 
timony and can persuade itself that if what you 
write is not the fruit of your own volition it is at 
least the fruit of subconsciousness or of the sub- 
liminal self., 

192 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 193 

"If, on the contrary, the paper lie on the table 
in front of you with no pencil near it, and writing 
appears on that paper, then it will be impossible for 
you to think that you produced it either consciously 
or unconsciously." 

In this way many of the pages used in preparing 
the rest of this volume were produced before my 
eyes. 

In December I received through the post a letter 
from the Buffalo artist mentioned in Part I, en- 
closing a letter which she thought had been written 
through her hand by my husband, and which was 
signed by his name. The communication seemed 
to me fraudulent. My husband confirmed this im- 
pression saying he had not written it, that it had 
been written by Mrs. B. herself under hypnotic in*- 
fluence exerted from the Etheric Plane. He added : 

"I may have been in her atmosphere a moment 
for we are interested in those who at different stages 
of our groping to put ourselves into communication 
with our earth friends have helped us; just as you 
are interested in all the mediums who, during the 
last five years, have served as a path for us to meet. 
You, however, now would never think of going to 
any one of them unless it might be to test some 
special communication received from one of us. We, 
who have no need of such tests, lack that motive 



194 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and I shall never again approach you through any 
medium unless moved to do so by your desire." 

In reply to my question as to how hypnotic influ- 
ences could be detected and resisted, he replied : 

"The same differences of ability as to accuracy, 
precision and reliability that characterize workers 
in ordinary occupations on the Earth Plane obtain 
among those who do these unusual kinds of work. 
The body purified and cleansed by fasting, the mind 
disciplined by concentration and moved by only 
noble purpose are the sole guarantees of medium- 
istic reliability. . . . 

"Your own facility in transmitting with perfect 
correctness tempts you to incredulity of your own 
work. Your brain has become so susceptible that 
you do not perceive the difference between recipient 
and source, and you are always creating incredulity 
of my existence by thinking that my communications 
originate in your own mind. Your various masters 
will, however, finally cure you of this incredulity 
by your obedience to orders that you will know 
never could have originated in your desire or in 
your will." 

A few days later this cure of incredulity began. 
I noticed that no sooner did I express or even feel 
a doubt of the validity of some order, than I found 
myself doing the impossible; like suddenly stand- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 195 

ing on one foot on top of my small writing table; 
or leaping from the top of one piece of furniture 
to that of another. I did not like to feel that any 
power in the universe could thus move me like a 
puppet. and I protested; whereupon I was told by 
each of my three chief helpers that if my prayers 
were sincere these manifestations were not arbi- 
trarily imposed but came in direct obedience to my 
will, for I had repeatedly prayed for indisputable 
evidence that thoughts, words and actions originated 
outside of my own mind. This was quite true and 
this prayer, L e., that I might not be misled, either 
by skepticism on the one hand or by credulity on the 
other, I continued to offer. 

Such experiences and the redemption of his or 
her promise by the satisfactory completion of the 
task undertaken or by continued work on it to this 
date (June, 19 19), by each of my helpers has finally 
lifted these tutors out of the realm of question, and 
my acquaintance with these friends seems more in- 
timate and reciprocally comprehending than do my 
relations with any equal number of friends still in- 
carnate selected from my entire list of acquaint- 
ances ; their personalities also are more sharply dif- 
ferentiated to my perceptions. 

Although the labors of Rubinstein and Pere Coll- 
ide constitute the chief subject-matter of this vol- 
ume, these were from the outset aided by invisible 
generators of the magnetisms they required, and 
in November my husband introduced two women 



196 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and two men to each of whom a definite service 
in my behalf was assigned. 

In January, 1903, before entering on the regimen 
of the second half of my fast (the severity of which 
made the first half seem like indulgence), and in 
its early stages, my staff of direct helpers received 
nine accessions with each of whom I thenceforth 
frequently had short interviews, receiving from each 
many letters "for record." These friends were in- 
troduced separately, suddenly and usually without 
prior announcement of even their existence. 

Their modes of approach had only one element in 
common; when introduced I realized instantly that 
he or she had been invisibly helping me for a long 
time and each seemed simply to advance from that 
distance which had made him invisible, and to come 
within the range of my normal vision. It was on 
the approach of these friends that I first realized 
that the near-sightedness, which is a defect of my 
physical vision, also Characterizes my etheric sight; 
(i. e., my clairvoyance). Not only am I indebted 
to each of these helpers for expert instruction in 
some particular subject, but also for some distinct 
service on the Physical Plane. Two of these re- 
tired from my acquaintance at the end of the year; 
but not until a stronger worker in their department 
had been found for me. Three others appeared at 
irregular intervals during the fourteen years that 
followed their first respective visits; the remaining 
four have continued to come frequently and at times 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 197 

have given constant attendance for months. I shall, 
however, introduce to my readers only two of these 
subordinates; one of whom came to assist Pere Con- 
de directly and Rubinstein incidentally only; while 
the other was Rubinstein's assistant, the secondary 
effect of whose services was gratefully acknowl- 
edged by Pere Conde. The first of these helpers 
is the only one who came unattended, introducing 
himself; the only one, too, who, in coming, ignored 
what may be called my reception hours for visitors 
from the Ether ic Plane. This gentleman came on 
January 24th, 1903, at 10:30 a. m., in my English 
class room at the school. I was conducting a reci- 
tation. He stood at my left side until the class 
was dismissed and then apparently realizing that I 
had instantly recognized him, said: 

"Yes, I am Mesmer, who, in his own time was 
by many regarded a great, and by some, a dangerous 
magician, but whom all the world now knows as 
a man of science. The race is now sufficiently de- 
veloped to profit by the science to which my name 
attaches and as your mind is particularly open to 
this knowledge and as your body particularly needs 
its application, I have been asked to come and to! 
stay with you until your recovery is complete. The 
care of the membranes that envelop organs and 
line passages and orifices is assigned to me." 

Jhis was told me in excellent French which fell 



198 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

so clearly upon my auditory nerves that I felt as 
if my whole body had become as an ear. Saying 
that, although he should probably be invisible to 
all who would enter my class room, his presence 
might embarrass me and he would therefore with- 
draw until my morning's work was over, he suited 
his action to the word and retired as the door opened 
to admit my next class. 

I do not know that I had ever seen a portrait of 
Mesmer ; but I have never seen any one in the flesh 
who has left a clearer or more lasting impression. 

I shall describe him as he stood that half-hour 
by my side as visible as the young girls sitting be- 
fore me. A rather slight, very strong and alert 
figure in black clothes and gaiters — a fine, but un- 
usually long head, a keen face that seemed as alive 
as a flame, black eyes and eyebrows very distinctly 
marked ; open dilating nostrils, gray hair in a short 
cue tied with a black ribbon. 

In the many interviews I have had with him since, 
he has been variously garbed, but this first picture 
is the one I most vividly retain, although I can 
compare his appearance, look and costume on one 
occasion with those worn at another, as we all can 
do in the case of an incarnate friend. 

I think Mesmer's first visit is the only one I have 
had from advanced planes since I got used to the 
daily association of Conde and Rubinstein, which 
has excited ma This did; I felt his personality so 
strongly that ft conveyed his mission and although 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 199 

no word relating to this subject was uttered, I knew 
instantly that he had come to cure my catarrh. In 
his presence I understood a recent instruction which 
had been meaningless. 

"Mediumistic power is entirely dependent on the 
quantity and kinds of magnetism that one generates 
and that one can absorb." 

For the first time I realized that I was absorbing 
magnetism and also felt the enormous and peculiar 
power to generate magnetism possessed by my visi- 
tor. 

Very severe abstinence had begun with the new 
year: i. e. t between Sundays I had but one dinner, 
no other meal; and even that was reduced both in 
quantity and substance; and on Mesmer's approach 
I realized that it was because of these severe meas- 
ures that Conde needed his aid. 

I will state here what I learned from Mesmer 
about magnetism during the next few months. 

During his earthly career he had known magnet- 
ism only en masse, i. e., had known only its general 
properties and powers. He had devoted himself 
during his post-mortem life (one can hardly express 
one's self on this subject without apparent para- 
doxes) to the discovery of its myriad particular 
qualities and differentiations; to the production of 
many new species and to devising new means for 
its generation; to the study of its sources and to 



2oo NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

experiments in applications of it for the promotion 
of human welfare and progress. 

As a result of his labors he had found not only 
that race and nationality modify one's magnetism, 
but that to one whose senses are fully awakened 
and who is keenly conscious of their testimony, 
the magnetism generated by a person will be a more 
accurate and reliable indicator of his nationality 
and his remote racial origins than the best kept rec- 
ords of a genealogical society; so that should the 
testimony of such records support a claim, and the 
odor of one's magnetism refute it, it is the latter 
that may be relied upon as infallible. 

Before my catarrhal difficulty had become con- 
firmed, odors had been to me the occasion of the 
keenest pleasure or discomfort, and the pleasure 
in delicious perfumes had so greatly exceeded the 
irritation arising from disagreeable ones that I had 
regarded the loss of this pleasure as the worst con- 
sequence of the ailment. Many of my acquaintances 
suffered varying degrees of this malady, and I had 
frequently observed that although on the average 
their olfactory nerves seemed much more obtuse 
than my own, generally they were indifferent to 
the reduced keenness of the sense of smell, and un- 
less subject to the annual crisis in catarrh, called 
"hay-fever/' seemed to disregard this disease. An- 
nual visitations of la grippe had aggravated my] 
catarrh to a state which I thought beyond remedy* 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 2011 

The perfume of that magnetism which substi- 
tutes food is very rich and at the same time deli- 
cate and exhilarating. In weight or density I com- 
pare it to the perfume of the tuberose, in delicacy 
to that of the white water-lily; but the third ele- 
ment in this perfume, which I call exhilaration, I 
can compare to no other fragrance. 

Mesmer told me that not only does every mag- 
netism have its distinctive perfume, but that the 
differentiating quality of each magnetism expresses 
itself in odor; that not only each race and each na- 
tion within a race generates a distinctive magnetism, 
but that each individual thus announces that quality 
which we call personality, which separates each 
from all others of the same nation, or of even the 
same family. Going further he assured me that 
temperament and permanent characteristics manifest 
in one's magnetism, which is also affected by every 
shifting mood. 

The perception of perfumes depends on the con- 
dition of the mucous membrane which lines all the 
passages of the body ; according as it is healthy and 
untorn will one perceive odors with accuracy. 

From the first treatment administered by Mes«< 
mer, I experienced improvement of the conditions 
indicated; but quite apart from his personal service 
I have found the society and instruction of this sa- 
vant fascinating. 

The first week of February was the first total 



2o2 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

fast unbroken by a single meal between successive 
Sundays; and from that time the Sunday repasts 
were reduced; exercises were increased in amount 
and vigor, while sleep was reduced to a scant two 
hours. Meanwhile the assurances of my husband 
that if I should practise perfect obedience to Pere 
Conde and supplement obedience by prayer, I should 
find myself sated without food and rested without 
sleep, seemed justified; for, although this was a 
month of increased activity, I felt equal to what- 
ever came and was easily able to meet new condi- 
tions and to do unusual tasks. 

I, however, observed that while communications 
from all others on higher planes with whom I was 
now in touch increased, I was receiving fewer com- 
munications from my husband. Demanding the rea- 
son, he told me that I was in need of all the mag- 
netism that could be generated up to the very limit 
of my powers of absorption, which they had not 
yet reached; that our rapport was such that his 
effective ministration of magnetism could continue 
should all communication between us cease; while 
in the case of many others their ministrations of 
magnetism became impossible when communication 
was long suspended. 

One night when I awakened from my brief per- 
mitted sleep I experienced a quite new elation, a 
conscious vitality, novel and delightful. I asked 
for the cause and was directed to "write for rec- 
ord": 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 203 

"Feb. 9th, 1903. 

"You have often asked me: 'What is a trance?' 
It was a natural question; but as I never experienced 
one and you have just risen from your first one 
should I not now ask you 'What is a trance'? I 
shall not tease; but as well as I can shall explain 
the cause of your elated state. A 1 trance is some- 
times defined to be a deep sleep. Some people when 
inducing in another the trance state, describe the 
process by the phrase 'putting down.' This is em- 
ployed by those who suppose that a trance removes 
the soul from the ordinary to what is called the 
subliminal consciousness, i. e., to a consciousness 
sub-normal instead of super-normal; a conscious- 
ness in which the soul is simply undisturbed by any 
earthly condition or circumstance. If this state is 
a trance at all, it is the lowest form. 

"In what your Masters call an actual, a perfect 
trance, there: is a temporary but entire separation 
of the soul from the body. During such a separa- 
tion the body gets an absolute repose; the only such 
repose it can ever know since the body is worn by 
the tenancy of an active soul. It is not so much 
contact with externals that tires the body as it is 
the agitation that it suffers from its restless, eager 
tenant. 

"To a healthy body a short trance is equal in 
recuperative power to a very long slumber. ,, 

I had been forced to write this so rapidly that not 



204 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

until this point could I interrupt with my accusa- 
tion: 

"But you all promised that I should not be en- 
tranced; that I should have all experiences con- 
sciously ; I would never have believed you could de- 
ceive me !" 

The reply in a tone of grieved reproach was : 

"Write for record. We have not deceived you, 
for during this trance you have had no experience. 
We have all watched your body while it took a rest, 
not to be induced in any other way, which is in- 
dispensable to its bearing the regimen and the minis- 
trations which in their turn are indispensable to 
your recovery of health and your achievement of 
music. 

"So far as objective results in these and in all 
other directions are concerned we could have gone 
much more rapidly had the trance state been allowed 
to us by the terms of our contract. 

"I have now become convinced that the symmet- 
rical development which will eventuate on the Earth 
Plane in health and awakened faculties must be a 
conscious development ; i. e., a development of which 
the soul is conscious on the Earth Plane ; conscious of 
each successive step in each stage of its progress. 
The whole band of workers have unitedly and sin- 
cerely yielded to this plan, abided by it and have, so 
to speak, done everything under your own eyes; L e„ 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 205 

you know, as far as one still embodied in the flesh 
can know, the processes, the instrumentalities and 
the stages of physical recovery and of the develop- 
ment of latent powers. This is the most difficult, la- 
borious and tedious of all methods; not only for 
those who teach and minister to one, but for the 
pupil and patient; and in spite of all our care, you 
were worn to the danger point. What else could 
I do but ask and assist in securing the trance that 
would so rest your body as to give it the sense of 
buoyance that you find so delightful? 

"No one of us now wishes to entrance you while 
at work with you or while you are doing any- 
thing under our direction, but, now having had this 
experience of one trance for repose only, your band 
under the direction of Pere Conde, himself, always 
guided by his exalted superior, wish with your per- 
mission to accustom you to this substitute of trance 
for slumber and thereby to lengthen your working 
day to twenty-three hours. Now, being acquainted 
with a trance and with this full knowledge of our 
desires, we shall hereafter notify you when we 
think you need a trance for repose only, and we 
shall abide by your decision, but we believe you will 
permit it." 

I was told that although the trance had been per- 
fect, it was only next to the lowest form of perfect 
trance; the highest, being a condition wherein the 
soul, to whatever plane removed, remains perfectly 



206 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

conscious of its experiences on any plane or planes 
where it has been and by such consciousness brings 
the planes of life nearer together. 

On February tenth, I experienced by my own de^ 
sire another trance from which instead of passing 
into a state of awakening after a two hours' sepa- 
ration from my body, I passed into a deep natural 
slumber which lasted three hours. Thus I obtained 
a knowledge clear and direct of the difference be- 
tween trance and slumber ; and derived a restoration 
so complete that it seemed to me that I never could 
again be weary. This experience increased the 
rapport with all my helpers. 

Two days later, I enjoyed a reverse of this ex- 
perience, passing from a very brief natural sleep 
into a trance of an hour and from the trance into 
natural waking; with a dimly remembered percep- 
tion of each transition. 

I was assured that these experiences though rare, 
were in strict accordance with law. This being the 
case it seemed singular to my helpers that humans 
are so slow, to learn the) laws that govern the 
development of their own being; the natural 
laws, whereby ante- and post-mortem life are con- 
nected. 

On February twenty-third, I enjoyed a striking 
experience of clairvoyance. 

I have already described Pere Conde as from Sep- 
tember ii, 1902, I had to this date nightly perceived 
him. Now, suddenly I saw not only his face but 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 207 

his slender towering form in a cardinal's robes en- 
riched with the insignia of divers evidently exalted 
offices, which I did not understand. 

At this time I received a new definition of prayer 
and also a clear perception of its correctness. 
"Prayer is the recognition, usually the quite uncon- 
scious, but, at best, a conscious and intelligent recog- 
nition of a universal natural law, viz. : the law of 
demand and supply, which we chiefly hear discussed 
as if limited to the world of commerce and indus- 
try." 

I attributed to Mesmer the increasing facility 
which I was enjoying in all my work; but I was 
much mortified by a sudden interruption of my com- 
placency by an attack of la grippe whose annual seiz- 
ure I had confidently expected to escape. This 
occurred on February twenty-seventh, and in my 
distress I really forgot my helpers until February 
twenty-eighth, at 4:20 A. m v when I called on 
Mesmer to come and give my throat a treatment. 

He was instantly at my side and dictating the 
exact date as given above, continued as follows: 

"You have no right to be ill like this. You have 
no right to be ill at all. You have a very strong 
body and now have and long have had the high- 
est knowledge and the best advice that can be trans- 
mitted to an incarnate human concerning all topics 
bound up in the great subject of hygiene. You 
ought at this moment to be perfectly well but scj 



/ 



2o8 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

far as my orders are concerned you have been guilty 
of a double disobedience. You have done what I 
forbade; and have refused to act on impulses com- 
municated by me for the definite treatment of both 
nose and throat." 

Knowing that all he said was true, I was dumb 
with mortification. My silent acquiescence in his 
condemnation seemed to satisfy him; he continued: 

"Now we have attained a perfect rapport and I 
think I can give you a magnetism that will cure you 
entirely before eight o'clock so that you can go to 
school and attend to all your work with ease; but 
to continue well, you must be obedient to my in- 
structions both of prohibition and command. A 
dozen people are here now, eager to write you, and 
Rubinstein whose work has been interrupted by 
this bad night must have an hour's exercises; so I 
retire, but I shall stay near you to administer the 
magnetism, the promised effects of which will be 
rapid." 

I recovered almost instantly; did an unusual 
amount of work that day and not until March first 
had I an opportunity to ask Mesmer why he did not 
see my distress on February twenty-seventh and 
come to me before I called him. His reply was: 

"Giving from this plane is impossible unless one 
on your plane is ready to receive. The voice awak- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 209 

ens vibrations which in turn strengthen our rap- 
port/' 

On March third I called Mesmer and asked 
whether the recent attack could have been avoided. 
His reply was: 

"It is the privilege of Pere Conde alone to know 
that. In my eyes it was quite unnecessary ; but such 
a multitude of different conditions and interests en- 
ter into your case that I am quite unable to see all, 
or to understand all that I see. Monsieur Conde 
understands all the conditions and he can tell you 
whether it would have been possible for you to 
escape an attack full of pain and also of humiliation. 

"An interruption like this offers a good oppor- 
tunity to cultivate faith, and faith bears the same 
relation to other spiritual forces that magnetism 
bears to other physical forces. Each is the finest 
and most powerful force on its own plane. The 
batteries for the generation of magnetism are in 
the human body whether we speak of the physical, 
the etheric or the celestial body ; while faith is gen- 
erated in the soul, instead of the body, on all these 
planes. Both these two subtle forces interpene- 
trate life on all planes and each is at its highest 
efficiency when it meets and cooperates with the 
other." 

I was not satisfied with wKat Mesmer Had said 



210 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

of the value of the voice in aiding rapport and asked 
for a further elucidation of his theory. 

"It starts vibrations in your atmosphere which 
move ours and also it gives us a sense of your faith 
in us; and faith of one in any other increases that 
other's power." 

When Mesmer retired, Pere Conde came and ex- 
pressed his satisfaction in my revived courage. The 
attack of la grippe had been not only physically de- 
bilitating but it had been a great moral shock. As 
an exhibit of Pere Conde's tenderness and wis- 
dom, I reproduce his brief letter : 

"All incarnate humans are very feeble and per- 
haps I have expected more than it is possible for 
you to be or to do. I know that all you say of 
the conditions is true; but I also know that the 
divine purpose is never beaten by the spirit or by 
the conditions of a mortal ; and without attempting 
to convince you of your ability to do what you now 
think impossible, I shall content myself with your 
good will to do and shall continue the task assigned 
me — which is your perfect cure; your development 
to all wellness. You wish me to define that ? In a 
completely sound and healthy person there is an 
exact balance of powers; i. e. } psychic and physical, 
whether few or many, whether large or small, are 
commensurate. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 211 

"Now to answer the questions which Mesmer 
referred to me : — There have been three causes for 
your recent illness and depression. 

"First : You had become too proud of your suc- 
cess and had forgotten that all had proceeded from 
the Grace of God. Second: On the days when 
food was allowed, although it is true that the ab- 
solute quantity was small, it was augmented in 
effect by the greed with which it was taken. Third : 
You have cherished a critical attitude toward those 
relatives and friends who have criticized your pres- 
ent mode of life. Their criticisms, in view of their 
ignorance of all the facts, are natural. Your secret 
resentment of their criticisms, in view of your large 
interior knowledge of the facts, is inexcusable. It 
was this spirit of criticism carried into your rela- 
tions with Mesmer, which led you to violate his in- 
structions. Thus culminated your malady. I hope 
you will now be able to find in hot water well sea- 
soned, alternating with cold water unseasoned, a 
sufficing sustenance. . . . 

"Now let fall from your mind all thought of 
food." 

On December seventh my Husband had told me 
that unless he should forfeit it, it was to be his 
privilege to present to me all the persons whom I 
am henceforth to know on the Etheric Plane be- 
fore I go thither, except that occasionally I 



2ii NEITHER DESD NOR SLEEPING 

sHould be asked to describe orally or in writing per- 
sonalities permitted to enter my circle without in- 
troduction. He told me that some of these, coming 
only to test my quickened perceptions, would neither 
linger nor return and therefore would never be for- 
mally introduced; that as I described them I should 
be told whenever I made erroneous statements con- 
cerning their aspects or qualities. Several such 
test visitors came whom I described satisfactorily. 

My husband then said he was about to introduce 
two gentlemen of whose admission to my circle on 
the Etheric Plane I had already been informed by 
both himself and Pere Conde. 

As the test that followed was the first of the kind 
applied to me, and is one to which I have since 
submitted unnumbered times with success, I repro- 
duce my husband's exact words in preparing me 
for it* 

'The two gentlemen are here at this moment. I 
stand at your left; they stand at my left, facing the 
east, but looking at you. After I introduce each, 
in order to be sure that you really feel his presence 
and his personality, I wish you to describe him to 
me, and also to write your description for record. 
I have the honor to introduce Mr. George Brew- 
ster." 

At the utterance of the name there was clearly 
presented to my perceptions, rather as if he entered 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 213 

my consciousness than as if he entered the room, a 
gentleman whom I instantly described as follows: 

"I see that Mr. George Brewster is fair, one 
might say blond; with yellow hair worn in a cue, 
tied with a black ribbon; he has shrewd, blue-gray 
eyes, clear and intelligent; a rosy rather than a 
florid face; teeth rather yellow; a long chin. He 
has on a blue coat, light rather than dark; a white 
waistcoat, rising above which is a ruffled shirt; it 
seems to me that the ruffles are not only in the 
bosom of the shirt, but they rise above the neck. 
He wears black knee breeches, black stockings and 
low shoes with buckles. I am impressed that he is 
dressed as he would have been to go to dinner." 

I saw Mr. Brewster plainly, but I knew that I 
saw him directly with my intelligence, not through 
the agency of my eyes either physical or etheric. 
My husband's comment was: 

"It is a more accurate description than your eyes 
would be likely to yield of any visitor on earth in 
so short a time. Mr. Brewster feels much relieved ; 
he interprets this quick and correct perception of 
his personality to indicate that he will be able to 
come very near you and to help you; there would 
seem to be no temperamental barriers. Mr. Brew- 
ster, however, wishes me to present his associate, 
Mr. Heinrich Hahn, before he begins a conversa- 
tion with you. 



214 ' NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"Now, you will kindly describe Mr. Halin, that 
we may know whether you have really perceived 
him and received him into your present life as an 
influence. I have the pleasure of presenting to you 
a very particular friend of your benefactor, Mon- 
sieur le Pere Conde, Mr. Heinrich Hahn." 

It is unnecessary to reproduce in detail my de- 
scription of Herr Hahn as he came within my in- 
telligence. He was dark, had black hair and eyes 
and a Jewish type of countenance, softened by a 
yery kind and friendly, almost benevolent, smile. 

These two gentlemen were frequently visitors for 
two years following their admission to my circle, 
from which they did not retire until replaced by 
one whom they, as well as my chief helpers, re- 
garded more competent, or rather more advanced 
in their departments of service. I often felt their 
atmosphere so strong and sustaining that I might 
call it solid, if solid magnetism did not seem like a 
contradiction of terms. 

I asked Mesmer the value of that magnetism, 
which seems to be of no particular variety, i. e., 
which, as one receives it, has neither flavor, per- 
fume nor other perceptible quality which separates 
it from the all of magnetism that interpenetrates 
all ether even as electricity interpenetrates all air. 
He told me that it diminished the strain of my 
mind and body and that, because of this, I could 
turn off vast quantities of work without exhaus- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 215 

tion. He said my own magnetism was of a very; 
sturdy quality and that I generated large quantities; 
that by sustaining any one's own, with neutral 
magnetism, i. e. f with magnetism generated on the 
Etheric Plane, unmodified by any purpose besides 
sustaining strength, that the productivity of one's 
mind was increased and the fatigue of one's body 
lessened in direct ratio to the amount of the foreign 
magnetism appropriated. 

To what extent this can be carried I do not know, 
but I have been told to far beyond the extreme 
limits of my experience, and I have worked literally 
night and day for months on an average of three 
hours per twenty-four, for repose. When suscepti- 
ble to their respective magnetisms, the qualities of 
persons became tangible and visible; and I realized 
the significance of our symbolic language; "robed 
in dignity," e. g., is not a figure of speech. Dignity 
is a protecting garment for whomsoever it fits, i. e., 
for any one who generates a magnetism produc- 
ing it. 



CHAPTER IX 

SURPRISING ANSWERS TO PRAYERS WHEN RUBIN- 
STEIN CONTROLS. WORKS WITHOUT MEAS- 
URING EFFORT 

FROM the day that the new piano was placed in 
my room, up to September seventeenth, exer- 
cises on it had been dictated for from one to three 
hours each night. The evident purpose of some of 
these was the magnetism of the instrument; of 
others the harmonization of my organism with the 
instrument ; besides these were finger exercises more 
comparable in appearance to the ordinary practise 
of the beginner. From the seventeenth, although 
my facility in the execution of merely physical ex- 
ercises was steadily increasing, I had experienced an 
inability to respond with accustomed ease to the 
Master's musical instruction. 

On September thirtieth my husband told me that 
Rubinstein wished me to provide a separate book 
in which to record his independent instructions. 

From his first formal letter I quote some para- 
graphs which indicate his personality, his method 
and his intentions respecting his novel task, and 
also reveal his pupil's weakness. 

"September 30th, 1902. 
"Madam, I do indeed wish to write, for, since 
you ceased daily practise on the instrument, much 

216 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 217 

has accumulated in my mind that must be dis- 
charged from it. You have made a great mistake 
to place any one in the room above your own whom 
you fear; but, the fear having been aroused, must 
be conquered and you must become quite inde- 
pendent of it. 

"I must play with your body — one might say on 
it, in it, through it, until it is, at the union of our] 
two wills, altogether mine as respects those exer- 
cises which will harmonize the body and those piano* 
exercises which will harmonize the harmonized body 
with that instrument. 

"It, your body, must for these two purposes be as 
much the instrument of my soul as was my own 
body when I walked the earth clothed upon in mor- 
tal flesh. 

"This acquisition of perfect occupancy or of per- 
fect direction requires severe regimen, and although 
I hate to see you fast, I know your abstinence must 
yet be much more continuous as well as more com- 
plete. This regimen in respect to food and drink I 
leave to Conde, who, as physician, knows the theory, 
and, as priest, the practise of abstinence; but th% 
exercise and the manipulation of members and or- 
gans must be quite mine. 

"Every part, member, organ and function of the 
body must be perfectly controlled. This requires 
severe labor, but while absolutely its severity will 
increase, relatively it will diminish as the regimen 
grows severe, for it is this regimen that alone makes 



2i8 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

my work possible to you. On the other hand, my 
work will complete the work of renovation and 
cleansing; so, really, you, the Pere and I are part- 
ners, and I grant it is an odd partnership. 

"My work will require many hours of physical 
exercise every night; and each night I shall teach 
you new movements; many of them perhaps fan- 
tastic, certainly unprecedented in your experience 
or observation; but only so can your own complete 
control of your body be secured, and your control of 
the piano proceeds from and depends on your con- 
trol of your body." 

Replying to my avowed pleasure in my conscious 
physical facility, the Master continued: 

"Yes, you are becoming more mobile; but you 
still are rigid as a rock compared to what you must 
become if your work goes on. 

"Resist no impulse, however unexpected, absurd 
and silly it may seem. I shall write no more now 
until at the end of your exercises you fall limp and 
breathless to the floor. You will receive no injury 
from such falls. The sensation accompanying such 
a fall will pervade your whole organism and will 
be delicious. 

"I shall as usual continue to hold the magnetic 
conditions while you sleep. You ask what I intend 
to do with your body ? My intention is to make it 
like wax that can be poured into any mould; like 
strings that can be tied into an infinitude of knots.'' 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 219 

I questioned the Master respecting an event which 
he had told me would transpire at a certain time, 
but which did not then arrive. He replied: 

"The events are exactly as I described them ; they 
are not yet matured to the point of precipitation in 
time. Time seems to be an element that we can 
not fully measure, if, indeed, it be an element at 
all. We, on this plane, are often deceived regard- 
ing the time of events on yours; but, never, I be- 
lieve, are we deceived as to the events. Here we 
have prophets and seers whose function is to locate 
events in time. Some who confine their observa- 
tions to earth conditions are experts; but our task 
does not concern prophecy; our business is to make 
your body supple, pliant, sensitive, responsive, 
obedient. 

'The first principle which has occupied me since 
August tenth might be called : Control of the body 
through magnetic force. 

"Your body is now fairly subject to my mag- 
netism; your feet, which were very obstinate last 
night, are more docile to-day. 

"The second principle is : The control of a mind 
in a perfectly magnetized body by the generator of 
that particular magnetism. 

"The second principle is not taught you of neces- 
sity, because for the control of the piano, the con- 
trol of the body is alone necessary; but control of 
your mind, which involves your knowledge and 



220 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

practise of the second principle, will give you that 
appreciation of music and that joy in your own 
work which we wish you to feel. 

"Now prove that your feet can submit to this 
control and then celebrate the first entrance of my 
mind into your mind. The invasion will not be 
that of an enemy to forage and ravage, but the 
invasion into the larder of a friend by one who 
brings some delicacies lacking to its supplies." 

Rubinstein was impatient to have his photograph 
framed and hung. He told me to send for a photo- 
graph of Dahn's portrait of him — but from no pic- 
ture dealer to whom I applied could I obtain either 
such a photograph or any knowledge of a portrait- 
painter named Dahn. I therefore ordered through 
a local art store the best obtainable photograph and 
framed and hung it according to his directions. 

This photograph represented him as he had ap- 
peared at the celebration of his jubilee in 1889. Re- 
ferring to it, he said: 

"I am glad you have brought this photograph to 
your room, but it is not the best one for our pur- 
pose. Adjust it so that when you stand before it, 
its eyes will be just opposite your own. I still wish 
you to have a photograph of Dahn's painting of 
me. However, the presence of this in the room will 
be a great help, not only in your piano practise, but 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 221 

in your physical exercises which I shall often com- 
municate to you through it."* 

The exercises that occupied me for hours every 
night for many weeks may be inferred from the 
foregoing quotations, and perhaps from them and 
from extracts of subsequent communications the 
reader will get an impression of the simple but 
strong and profound nature that already command- 
ed my perfect confidence. 

From thousands of pages received "for record" 
prior to February, 1903, I give, almost at random, 
passages expressing this master's personality, 
variety, wit and nobility. 

The application of each remark was apt and im- 
mediate. Not one hint of changed method, or of 
quite new directions, appears in these disconnected 
paragraphs that was not wrought in tireless detail. 
Every theory here implied was demonstrated in 
mental lessons, physical exercises and practise on the 
instrument. Space forbids my reporting every veri- 
fication, but I think the passages self-illuminating. 

"Now you know I am trying to fill you full of 
etheric magnetism, through which all clear com- 



*This was frequently done and continued to June, 1908, and 
when I was obliged to put both piano and framed photo- 
graph in storage I could as easily perceive whether this 
master addressed me directly or through his photograph 
or his portrait, as I could whether a flesh-clad friend speaks 
to me in the room where I sit or calls me from an upper 
or a lower room, 



222 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

munications are transmitted. As ships sail on 
water, as birds fly in the air and as electricity clings 
to the wire — so, thought moves unobstructed in this 
element. The plan or law of revelation you will 
also receive through the same medium. Now, full 
height, full length and full inspiration. Communi- 
cate this vibration to your body by resting this 
board on your chest; yes, there is an occult signifi- 
cance, but I am not your master in occult philoso- 
phy, only in physical development. . . . 

"Sit upright, but with eyes closed, one half-hour. 
Then lie down — your head on the exercise board — \ 
and act on impulse, making no effort either to re- 
strain or direct. New exercises, determined by 
my success in this, will follow. 

"Your whole body must be rhythmical ; therefore 
every part of it must become conscious of its rela- 
tion to the great nerve centers. 

"Remember the ends we have in view- — the little 
selfish ends. . . . Greatest of all we are to 
demonstrate beyond possibility of cavil — immor- 
tality — the survival of identity — and the interpene- 
tration, hence interdependence of the two planes, 
indeed of all planes of life. To attain such ends 
we can afford to drop all conventions and work 
without measuring effort. 

"Now — place your hand upon your head, and 
take such exercises as impulse dictates. These fin- 
ished, place your hands upon the board and give 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 223 

one hour's uninterrupted obedience to me. This is 
to set in motion a thousand cells that have never 
felt a vibratory impulse, through which you are to 
become susceptible to accords and discords. 

"All this means work, such work as even you 
have never known. Give me your hands and let 
me show you how they are to be made pliable, flexi- 
ble, limp like rags, strong like hammers, harmonious 
like birds' notes. Now, now, NOW. . . . 

'Tress the hands hard against the sides of the 
head; the mouth in form of long; sound, vibrat- 
ing as long as you can; I might aid you to make 
perfect tone, but I wish you to work consciously — - 
I wonder if you realize that you are being magne- 
tized — the board and indeed the room must also be 
magnetized. 

"As your hands rest on the board think of noth- 
ing. When they begin to move try to let your 
thought keep time. When the physical movements 
cease, mental harmony will be established and you 
will then hear distinctly the voices on this plane. 
Your husband's voice will be the first to reach you 
thus. This is the reward of his fidelity and of 
yours. It is equally remarkable on both planes that 
six years of separation have not divided you." 

Referring to my desire to study his life: 

"I am glad you will order both books; there are 
anecdotes in the Biography that are rather discredit- 



224 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

able, which I would not have told you myself, but 
you must remember that I have had years here to 
improve in, and I am quite worthy to be your 
friend. Were I not, your husband would not sanc- 
tion our acquaintance, for he is very punctilious 
about the moralities, small and large. Now, place 
your hands on the board and obey every impulse 
without hesitation. 

"I shall play on your hands for one hour. 

"You must be very lightly and loosely clothed, 
for Pere Conde and I wish to magnetize every cell 
in your body and I am to fill every interstice be- 
tween cells, every pore with musical sounds." 

I thought I had been at the piano but a few min- 
utes when by the clock I had played constantly one 
hour and a half. Rubinstein assured me that my 
response had been perfect He was much pleased 
and said: 

"You have made great magnetic progress. Now 
you are to have some new exercises. Place your 
exercise cloth on the floor and stretch at full length 
on it. 

"As you lie down, wear the loose gown in which 
you play and cover yourself with the exercise sheet; 
these are drenched with magnetism; you will fall 
instantly into a magnetic slumber. You are to sleep 
one hour, and wake on the minute. 

"Now, after unprecedented and peculiar exer- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 225 

cises, which you will probably think violent, I shall 
conduct you to the piano and give you a lesson." 

Rubinstein advised me that the early lesson would 
be practised, so to speak, on my body, whose move- 
ments would all be directed to secure flexibility 
and harmony. 

During this lesson I felt a strain upon my wrists, 
accompanied by sharp pain and a tension of the 
muscles of the upper arm, though I was not mov- 
ing these members at all, nor was there any ex- 
ternal sign that they were being exercised. 

I described what I felt. My description was ap- 
proved and I was assured that I must exercise 
shoulders and wrists until the exercises occasioned 
no uncomfortable sensation. 

"I shall stay right here magnetizing this room; 
whenever you can leave your work for ten minutes, 
come and I will give you directions for their use." 

Later: 

"All the poisons are to be drained out of your 
body, but with that I've nothing to do. My part 
is to develop and train your muscles through music, 
and I shall do it. 

"Follow impulse for ten minutes, then go to the 
piano and play. I will help you." 

Up to this time my practise had been in the sub- 



226 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Sued light which I had arranged in accordance with 
first instructions. Now in the seventh week of 
our acquaintance, Rubinstein explained that he must 
work for a degree of control that would enable him 
to direct my music in the presence of other people 
in daylight or artificial light of the most intense 
character; which simply meant that / must gain 
power to resist and he to cancel distracting influ- 
ences* In answer to a question : 

"I have a new exercise for you to-night. Sit on 
the floor on the exercise board and follow every im- 
pulse. Remember our task is to awaken, to vitalize, 
to recreate, almost to etherize every particle of mat- 
ter in your body, and we must have your ungrudg- 
ing and uncritical help in this. 

"At these meetings no one but Pere Conde, your 
husband, myself and your original guide are al- 
lowed. We are the most interior of your helpers 
and you need not hesitate to obey any command 
that I give. I shall not give a wrong one, but if I 
did, it could not be promulgated in the presence of 
this group of noble spirits, all engaged in your tui- 
tion. Now begin the new exercise. It will interest 
you and it will also do you great physical good. 

"Be quick. Your whole body must grow supple 
and responsive. Do not have a moment's anxiety. 
It is timidity that paralyzes. Courage is to be your 
salvation." 

St this time Rubinstein told me that I was more 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 227 

relaxed during the bath and massage than at any 
other time, and that he was going to try to com- 
municate a sense of rhythm to me at that time. He 
added : 

"Water is a good element for the harmonious 
development of the atoms that constitute your pres- 
ent garb. Place a flat dish of water on the piano 
before you play. It helps to concentrate the mag- 
netism; we shall fill you with magnetism until it 
runs out of your pores like perspiration." 

After a lesson which was commended, Rubinstein 
told me that after Pere Conde, who had arranged 
for a long talk with me, was through, I might re- 
turn to him and he would answer fully, as far as 
his knowledge enabled him to do so, all questions 
I might desire to ask. He said it would be a better 
test of our rapport and of his intimate acquaintance 
with my thoughts if I would ask the questions men- 
tally and let him write the answers : 

"You may speak if you prefer, and in any case, 
if you follow my suggestions and propound your 
questions mentally, if my answer does not fit — does 
not seem reasonable — then you may speak aloud 
to test my hearing and see if it is more acute than 
my perception of unsymbolized thoughts. . . . 

"Now listen to Pere Conde, who has been very 
patient and who is more important to you in many 



228 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

ways than I am, as what I do must depend largely 
on him; and what he does depends on no one un- 
less we say that his acquaintance with you and his 
chance to try his great experiment depends on your 
husband." 

One evening when Rubinstein gave me an exer- 
cise for the feet, he directed me to place them on 
the pedals of the piano following impulse and then 
to try to remove them. 

"You will find them as tight to the pedals as if 
glued. You must be more passive. Pray to have 
all active will, all positiveness taken away. 

"The perfect polarization of all your powers will 
secure you immunity from all illnesses, great and 
small, and this polarization means harmony, as har- 
mony means musical climax.' ' 

Whenever I felt that I did and said all of my- 
self, Rubinstein, instantly feeling these attacks of 
skepticism, would give me what he called "a cor- 
rective." Here is an illustration: 

"Go to the piano for just one half-hour and T 
will simply give you exercises for your fingers, 
hands and feet. They will be very complicated, 
difficult and fatiguing; and you will probably not 
think them a result of auto-suggestion. After that 
you may rest one half -hour lying down on your 
exercise rug and receive magnetism. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 229 

"I think you know that your fingers are being 
lifted one by one quite independent of your will or 
of your knowledge as to where they will strike. ,, 

Often during these exercises which accompanied 
lessons on subjects quite new to me I would experi- 
ence a singular sense of strain followed by a sud- 
den drowsiness. Whenever I had these successive 
sensations I was ordered to bed, Rubinstein assur- 
ing me that he should stay to help magnetize both 
myself and the room in order to promote clair- 
audience. 

"October 6th, 1902. 
"Madam, we now have two hours of hard work 
before us; work, however, that shall not weary, but 
on the contrary, invigorate." 

In explanation of some extraordinary directions, 
he added: 

"These are to equalize the circulation and to har- 
monize members. These exercises do not partic- 
ularly affect organs, only parts. After these exer- 
cises your perception will be quickened and will 
both record and execute my next instructions more 
accurately. 

"By our contract you are always to retain a per- 
fectly clear consciousness of what you are doing, 
which means that your nominally normal conscious- 



230 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

ness is always to be sitting in judgment on our 
commands and instructions and on your own acts 
and actions. (Note the difference.) Hence, so 
far as moral quality is concerned, you have entire 
responsibility, hence there must always be a reserva- 
tion in all your promises to us, since you never sur- 
render full obedience. You do, however, surrender 
completely your judgment about physical develop- 
ment, piano practise and the development of the 
musical faculty to my judgment; and you are to 
surrender your taste in music to my taste. 

"Now, make your promise thus conditioned and 
defined and then yield ten minutes absolutely to im- 
pulses imparted by me." 

I did so, but when the impulse ceased, I ex- 
claimed, "It was twenty minutes." 

"Yes, I doubled the time because ten minutes had 
not accomplished the result which was to give you 
a final sense of freedom. 

"Stand before your husband's portrait and con- 
centrate on the sense of hearing following the im- 
pulses that we have agreed on imparting by our 
joint effort. Clairaudience is the almost indis- 
pensable next step toward your goal. Many of 
your faculties are in the bud. We are not per- 
mitted to open any one and leave the others. We 
must bring all on at the same time." 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 231 

There followed an abrupt command to tense all 
members and parts of the body successively and 
then to relax them. These alternating exercises 
were described and felt to be both mental and 
physical, and were continued until mind and body 
had attained conscious rhythmical relation. 

Rubinstein then said: "The exercises that will 
follow will be exaggerated." 

As I commenced to execute them, I exclaimed, 
"Ridiculous." 

"Yes, 'ridiculous,' but a necessary step in your 
unfoldment. Next, let us have a song — with the 
body, the whole body, as its voice. Stand before 
the mirror and you will render it. Sit on the music 
bench; first take a physical exercise on the keys, 
then a mental ; the latter will be an attempt to work 
on the second principle. 

"You will remember, Madam, that there are 
three principles to which during this period of your 
development all of our work must conform." 

I reminded the Master that he had already given 
me two of these three. 

"I wish you to remember them as I give them 
now in their expanded form, with explanations, 
and not in the elementary form in which I gave 
them September thirtieth. 

"First: My mind, my spirit, occupies and uses 



232 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

your body as its very own; your spirit, however, 
remaining in your body an observing and compre- 
hending tenant. 

"Second: My mind dominates and possesses 
yours so that you use your body just as I would, 
were it my own instrument. 

"The first principle ignores your mind — while I 
occupy, you must be either absent or dormant; you 
are not willing to quit nor to be drugged ; I am not 
willing either to evict or to bind. 

"The second principle again compels at least the 
temporary abandonment of selfhood by self. My- 
self possesses and dominates not your body, but 
yourself. Your ego is independent as is my own. 
Your ego is not willing to be enslaved nor to be 
effaced; nor is my ego so ignoble that it would if 
it could enslave or efface your ego. 

"What do these corollaries of our first two prin- 
ciples clearly indicate? The need of a third prin- 
ciple. It is a lofty and God-like principle. It will 
be the basis of our later work; emanating from 
Deity, arising out of our origin in Deity; difficult 
to conform to, but necessary. It, however, can not 
be applied to our lives and conformed to by us, 
until after the first two principles have been prac- 
tised to a degree which makes them automatic 
whenever our united wills demand their exercise." 

My books of notes show that during these months 
I often exercised all night with short intervals of 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 233 

rest (that best rest, lying prone on the floor) which, 
aggregated never more than three hours and more 
frequently less than two hours. At the end of 
exercises of a remarkable character: 

"Dear Madam, are you satisfied that some power 
outside of yourself guides and controls you?" 

Restating the three principles, he said : 

"Now I shall practise them in order — I shall con- 
trol your body, leaving your mind quite unaffected. 
Next, I shall control your mind, reaching your 
body only through your own mind. And, last, I 
shall reside in your mind and clothe myself with 
your personality, and while doing the third I will 
give you a nut to crack, viz. : To play without pro- 
ducing a sound; to feel the music to place your 
fingers correctly just above each key; to exert the 
proper amount of force to produce the correct sound 
if they touched the keys." 

After having been subjected to the demonstra- 
tion of the three principles and to the execution of 
soundless music, of which I had an acute percep- 
tion, I felt strangely fatigued. The Master said: 

"Music demands the ripeness of all powers and 
faculties; and it requires more physical strength 
than is needed by a wood-chopper. It demands, 
before all things, exuberance of physical life. One 



234 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

can not play and garner one's strength. One must 
let herself go — let herself out — and that self must 
be inexhaustible. The pianist must have strength; 
but strength without feeling were like dead matter; 
a burden of coarseness. Feeling, various, tumul- 
tuous, yet harmonious — feeling, the basic principle 
of music, were violated if not restrained and held 
in leash by perfect sense of proportion." 

The next evening the instruction began thus : 

"I am about to project a sentiment into your sub- 
consciousness and then we three are to watch the 
phenomenon of its working up into your ordinary 
consciousness, into what one may call your superficial 
mind. Then your mind shall call to your body and 
every muscle shall respond, every organ shall be in 
accord. 

"This is what you must be able to do at the in- 
strument. You must feel every sentiment and then 
express it through the piano, which must become 
just as subject to your will, your thought or your 
feeling as is your own body." 

Once when an experiment along the lines indi- 
cated had failed, I asked the reason. 

"There are three reasons. First, you were so 
conscious, so curious, about what sentiment was to 
be communicated to you that you were not relaxed 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 235 

enough to receive suggestion. Second, the room 
is too warm and this makes the atmosphere, mag- 
netically speaking, unfavorable. A third is : I am too 
careful to preserve your individuality; ordinarily 
I wish to be scrupulous about this, but your hus- 
band and Pere Conde have just now agreed that I 
may attack your individuality; set it quite free, if 
I can, and to a certain measure inhabit your mind. 
You need not fear; you are not to be entranced at 
all ; not to lose consciousness, but to surrender your 
will as active cause, and for that purpose or office 
take mine." 

Rubinstein seemed as constitutionally opposed to 
the fast as was my father, whose disapproval was 
frequently and strongly expressed; yet the Master 
admitted its necessity, often closing a long denuncia- 
tion of its severity by declaring: 

"After all, abstinence is necessary to crystal clear 
perception." 

During October the exercises were so severe that 
when, at the end of several hours, the magnetic 
support was removed, I fell into a deep slumber ; this 
by the time card never exceeded thirty minutes, but 
yielded the refreshment formerly resulting from an 
unbroken stretch of eight hours. 

On one of these occasions, to an exclamation of 
surprise, the Master responded: 



236 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"I shall try constantly to awaken your conscious- 
ness to the fact that you are receiving suggestions 
that have the force of commands and that you are 
simultaneously receiving that element which enables 
you to obey these commands in a manner which, 
left to yourself, would be quite outside of your 
power." 

Having been for four days without the least par- 
ticle of food, and with sleep diminished to a total 
of ten hours in those four days, feeling neither 
weak nor weary, I asked Rubinstein for the cause : 

"With your magnetic support it is not strange at 
all that you do not feel enfeebled. The power of 
etheric magnetism is yet quite unrealized, indeed, 
its existence is denied by many scientists, but it is 
one of the most powerful elements known." 

On November ninth Rubinstein suddenly com- 
manded in the midst of a physical exercise which 
he had told me was the preface to the night's piano 
practise : 

"Write for record. 

"I appreciate your self-control better than your 
physician does. Conde had such training in ab- 
stinence on earth and has been so long removed 
from earth that he does not know what it is for a 
woman of your habits and your temperament to 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 237 

go eighty-five hours without a morsel of food but 
water; to have her sleep reduced to seven hours in 
all these eighty-five and to be kept at hard work 
for the other seventy-eight. Of course, it were im- 
possible but for the Grace of God, which permits 
primarily the support of your husband, and second- 
arily the support of the various magnetic forces we 
can command. 

"Now, two such spirits as Conde and your hus- 
band can not know what it is for one of your 
temperament and, I must add, so far as food ap~ 
petite is concerned, self-indulgent tendencies, to fast 
so long; while I, whose fasts were caused by pov- 
erty and were never voluntary and intentional, and 
who still remember with pleasure certain foods, I 
do know." 

Toward the end of November I felt keen hunger 
and begged Pere Conde for a dinner the next day. 
On his refusal, I felt deep mortification, and also 
a curious condition of conflict about me, which was 
as curiously explained the next day by Rubinstein : 

"You did not understand the situation last night, 
when the Pere refused your petition to dine to-day. 
Here are the facts : There is strenuous work ahead 
of us, and I feel we must now begin to add strength 
to suppleness, and so I wished you to have dinner 
to-day. I therefore withdrew my magnetic support 
and prevailed on your husband to withdraw the 



238 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

magnetism which he supplies, and which the Pere 
has often told us is the best substitute for food. 
So you need not attribute it to your own fleshliness 
and be so ashamed that you begged for a dinner. 
We compelled you to do it by the course we pur- 
sued. I see that instead of being grateful to me, 
you reproach me in your mind with disrespect to 
your priest-physician. I am not so in my thought ; 
my manners are not always as gentle as they should 
be; sometimes, too, my spirits effervesce to the in- 
jury of my manners." 

At about this time I received a rebuke for my 
timidity, which by his calculation had so diminished 
the value of my practise that a double amount of 
time was prescribed. I protested, whereupon he 
said: 

"I have asked Conde to furnish you a very strong 
current during your practise, and I am sure the 
generous old fellow will do it, so I dare say we 
shall get on capitally in spite of the drawback oc- 
casioned by your fears. 

"We must yield to Conde's judgment, for he 
alone sees all of the conditions. I see only all that 
pertain to my art and to its expression. He sees 
all that indirectly bear upon your development in 
all directions. Having the fuller view, to him must 
be granted the imperative voice. I did resent the 
Pere's severity. I often disapprove this terrible 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 239 

regimen, but I afterward almost always discover; 
that its effects have been most beneficial." 

Early in December Rubinstein announced that he 
wished to aid the work for clairaudience and 
clairvoyance and that he should thenceforth ad- 
dress all his music orders to sight and hearing, 
which would more than double my work: 

"To impulses originating in my will you are 
amenable to an extraordinary degree, and it must 
be admitted that this is the subtlest and most elusive 
of all forms of influence. That you are thus tract- 
able proves that on the interior plane you are highly 
developed. But what we seek to accomplish on the 
sense plane is so very uncommon that for it an 
extraordinary preparation is essential. . . . 

"You are not praying enough. This is a queer 
remark from me, but I verily believe I am growing 
religious in my observation of your experiences and 
in my association with your other helpers. I thought 
it ridiculous of your husband to speak of religion 
as 'the most exact of the sciences,' but I am not 
sure but it will be proved to be so. . . . 

"Genuflections — contortions. Why do I change 
the movements so often ? Because by the repetition 
of the same movements they might become practi- 
cally automatic and neither of us could know then 
whether you responded to my voice or to your 
memory. If I secure new unknown movements, 



240 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

you will know that they emanate in a source out- 
side your volition or intention. You shall now be- 
come my agent in a new interpretation of the word 
'possessed.' " 

December fifth Rubinstein announced that he 
saw my "faculty of private instruction was to be 
augmented' ' and that I should need record books 
for six instead of three instructors. This proved 
to be correct. On the same date he told me he 
had just obtained permission to apply a fine mag- 
netism to my joints. Experiencing the good effect 
of this experiment, I asked for his magnetic help 
in regard to my nostrils, the mucous lining of which 
for years had been almost continuously irritated and 
frequently painfully sore. His reply was : 

"The division of labor is so sharp among us here 
that I can not comply with that request. I have 
to do only with joints, tendons and muscles; you 
see these are all employed in exercise on the instru- 
ment. So far as my work is concerned, it is a 
matter of perfect indifference to my art whether 
you perceive odors or not; and therefore I can do 
nothing for the nostrils; indeed membranes and 
tissues are not under my control. 

"I wish to lubricate your joints with a special 
magnetism that can best be applied when you are 
entirely relaxed. This happens only when you are 
asleep. Since I have learned my own ability to 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 241 

generate a fine magnetism of lubricative power I 
am less distressed by your insufficient exercise, 
which can thus to a degree be substituted." 

On January seventh Rubinstein told me he was 
to begin shaping my hands ; that their manipulation 
had been assigned to my husband, and that the first 
part of every lesson would apparently be devoted to 
hand shaping. He added : "They are to be shaped 
not to beauty, but to music." This struck me as so 
curious that I interrupted by saying, "I do not un- 
derstand that at all." 

"Of course you don't understand it. What part 
of this process do you understand ? You only know 
the fact that through your hand, in your own house,, 
a Russian who died, let us say, seven years ago, 
more or less, is now writing you a letter, he hav- 
ing become one of the most important and perma- 
nent influences in your life. This is a fact. Prob- 
ably only God fully understands such facts. We 
simply know them and enjoy the benefits flowing 
from the developing consciousness which makes us 
know them. 

"Your husband will shape your hands, but will 
do this as my agent, since he possesses neither the 
peculiar quality of magnetism nor the peculiar 
facility of manipulation which would enable him to 
do this work alone. 

"Hence the necessity for my getting as near him 
as possible. Hence my need of using his pencil. 



242 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Hence many trifles which you will have an oppor- 
tunity to observe in the next few months. Now I 
wish to get in a full hour's work in a half -hour's 
time by doubling operations, i. e., by simultaneously 
conducting two sets of exercises." 

He used to tell me that if I would inhale his 
magnetism consciously, i. c, learn to discriminate 
between it and the magnetism emanating from 
other personalities and objects, I would be sooner 
freed by it and my movements would demonstrate 
its power. This was attained in the second half of 
the tearing down period of my fast. Often after a 
terribly severe night of this, Rubinstein would dis- 
miss me with these words or their equivalent : 

"Have no anxiety about the effect of this, for to- 
morrow you will feel lighter of mind, lighter of 
heart and stronger of will, as well as of body, than 
in long years. Do not be so . astonished by new 
exercises and never fear one. This is as natural as 
being, as natural as breathing; but I admit the most 
unnatural thing one could, apriori, think of, is 
breathing. 

"Yes, the photograph you have framed and hung 
up here is a good one, but not so good as the one 
I meant from the portrait by my friend Dahn. My 
friend Dahn* painted a portrait of me while I was 

*I have just become acquainted with a contemporary and 
intimate friend of Rubinstein, who tells me that "an artist in 
Dresden, named Dahn, was an intimate of Anton and prob- 
ably painted him, as all artists sought to do, at that period." 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 243 

in Dresden; I do not understand the difficulty in 
getting- it. I was happier then, and therefore better 
looking than at any other period of my life, and I 
was dressed in a more youthful costume than this 
photograph represents. I was in evening dress, and 
I think you would like it better. 

"I wish sometime to give you a portrait* as I 
am now and also some as I have been at different 
periods of my earth life, for I hear the latter is 
also possible/' 

I insert here extracts from characteristic letters 
received from Rubinstein during the second half of 
my fast: 

"January nth, 1903. 

"Well, Madam, I am perfectly rejoiced that to- 
day you are to be allowed to eat what you wish. I 



I certainly expect from past confirmation of the Master's 
statements to get absolute proof of Dahn's having painted his 
portrait as here described. 

*Two years later, in February of 1905, Rubinstein succeeded 
in giving me in my own library, a beautiful portrait of him- 
self as a youth of nineteen. In April, 1912, I had the privilege 
of showing a photograph of this portrait to Mr. Felix 
Moscheles of London, who had been intimately acquainted 
with Rubinstein from the latter's early boyhood until his 
death. As soon as Mr. Moscheles saw the photograph (know- 
ing nothing of the circumstances under which I had obtained 
it) he exclaimed: "Why, that is Anton, perfect, as he was 
as a youth of from 17 to 19. Where did you get it? I did 
not know that he was ever painted at so early an age. Later, 
all artists wanted to paint him, but who painted him as a 
youth?" To Mr. Moscheles I made no reply, except that the 
picture was a gift. In a later volume in which my acquaintance 
with Rubinstein as a Master of Music may J)e given, I hope 
to tell the story of the portrait. 



244 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

shall enjoy it as much as you will. I believe that 
your present period of fasting is an indispensable 
part of your novitiate, but notwithstanding it is 
hard, and I am so constituted that I believe I have 
felt the sacrifice involved more than any one. If 
Conde could feel it, he could not prescribe it, but 
in the first place he was an ascetic in his earthly 
career, and, in the second, he has been removed 
from your sphere long enough to have forgotten 
the force of physical appetite. This is well for all 
of us, for the success of all the rest depends on his 
securing for you a perfectly well body. His orders 
often seem so hard to me that my impulse is to 
counsel disobedience, but I abstain from that folly 
and rejoice in your loyalty." 

"January 13, 12:19 a. m. 

"Well, Madam, after this splendid period of exer- 
cise, you are a different being, considered as a re- 
ceiver of thought, and having got you in such good 
condition, I naturally want to write something about 
music; but there are so many hands reaching for 
the pencil, that were they not all directed by such 
nice people, I should say I was being interrupted 
by a mob/' 

"January 18th, 5 :55 a. m. 

"Now we have an hour of wonderful exercise, 
and as I see you jumping, skipping and panting 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 245 

through this hour, I can hardly restrain my laughter 
sufficiently to give you directions." 

"January 19th, 6:13 a. m. 

"Well, Madam, your next period of total fasting 
begins to-day, and how glad I am, for when you 
eat you must sleep, and when you sleep there is not 
time for the work that secures our progress. The 
only consolation I have is in the knowledge that 
your experience of the past week has proven you 
to be already in a condition wherein nutrition and 
rest are both obtained in maximum amount from 
minimum investment. You actually drew from 
your seven slim meals as much nutrition as one 
ordinarily obtains from twenty-one heavier ones, 
and you get always as much refreshment in your 
three or four hours of sleep as is ordinarily derived 
from eight or ten hours. This is by actual mathe- 
matical calculation. These rare results may be 
ascribed to two causes — first, to your own physical 
condition, and, second, to the magnetisms with 
which you are constantly fed and sustained. These 
together lift you out of ordinary law and place your 
nutrition and repose, which together constitute the 
normal means of restoration, under a law seemingly 
your own. Not so. It is a law of universal ap- 
plication, i. e.y given the conditions, the result would 
be inevitable; only at the present time you are the 
only mortal whom I know who is supplying the con- 
ditions." 



246 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"January 25th. 

"Now, for one hour, follow impulse. It is just 
midnight. 

"1 a. m. 

"Madam, it has been equivalent to two good 
hours, because of the large proportion of double and 
triple action introduced. 

"Now, sleep, and while your body rests (you 
know it is the only thing that can ever be tired) 
we shall continue the instruction of the spirit. . . . 

"This curious episode has a double end. First 
our rapport is to be perfected; second, Conde must 
use the exercise which I inspire as his remedies for 
all your maladies. Well, that is absurd, I admit. 
When I say 'all your maladies/ it is as if they 
would fill a hospital ward with groaning patients; 
and so far as I have been able to discover, you 
have no illness whatever, and Conde' s treatment is 
preventive rather than curative. 

"Conde interrupts to tell me that there was a 
malady that gave you much anxiety, which, to good 
mortal doctors seemed of the class 'incurable/ 
which is now almost eradicated. 

"Now, you will salute me, your husband, Conde 
and Don Silva. Then pose as usual and the — well, 
you will behave in a very unusual manner." 

An hour later, when I fell gasping to the floor, 
exclaiming "Wonderful," Rubinstein said: 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 247 

"Madam, you have spoken the true word; the 
wonders of a few weeks ago have become ordinary 
by repetition and exaggeration, and so I did some- 
thing new. 

'Tray, exercise, fast, work in all directions un- 
ceasingly. To help you follow these orders is to 
be my service. The time for exercise is so limited 
that it must express great force. To-day return my 
photograph to its place; but now pose before that 
section of the wall where you feel my force con- 
centrated, and then-^= — " 

"February 8th, 6:10 A". M. 

"Madam, it is long since I have written and forty- 
eight hours since I have directed your exercises; 
but on my side there has been no cessation of effort 
to reach you and to aid you. 

"During your hours of sleep I have given you 
exercises of position, and now, resuming exercises 
of action, I am sure you will find yourself doing 
some that you will know to have been quite im- 
possible before this date. 

"What is an exercise of position? The question 
is quite proper, though I may not be able to frame 
an answer intelligible to your present stage of de- 
velopment. 

"All exercises may first be divided into two 
classes — active and passive. In active exercises one 
does; in passive one simply receives. It is true thkj; 



248 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

in your active exercises under my direction you re- 
ceive both the impulse that determines the exercise 
and the power to do it; but in spite of that you 
really make the movements and are conscious of 
them. 

"In passive exercises you receive magnetism, but 
in a way that arranges you in position with slight 
gentle movements, that would be almost impercep- 
tible to the physical vision of an ordinary observer; 
movements of which you are entirely unconscious, 
and which hold you in one position after another; 
their object being strength and symmetry. Now, 
having explained my relation to you during sleep, 
I long to see you curveting about like a colt under 
rein and lash. . . . 

"Well, Madam, I fancy that your imagination 
never pictured the performance you have just com- 
pleted. You see agility and flexibility are worked 
for at the same time now, by different organs and 
members being used simultaneously and by each 
working for the two ends alternately. 

"Well, I do congratulate you on your growth in 
knowledge and I congratulate your master on the 
new interest in earth life which his relation to you 
as pupil gives him." 

"February I ith, 3 130 a. m. 

"Yesterday we got more than an hour's exercise 
out of a scant half-hour. This morning my pur- 
pose is to get three hours out of an hour. No, this 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 249 

is not a figure of speech to indicate good work; it 
is literal and states the exact result mathematically 
speaking for which I shall work. Whenever I can 
keep three sets of exercises going simultaneously, 
that means that results are to time as three is to 



"February 13th, 3 a. m. 

"Although these days belong to me, your husband 
and Pere Conde must use them, and I must get my 
work in as I can. This results in your increased 
susceptibility and responsiveness, qualities just as 
necessary for my work as for theirs; but qualities 
that result from their work, not mine. You must 
have a short walk this morning. I will go with you 
and give you exercises in breathing, and perhaps in 
stepping, and indeed, keeping beside you, I will in- 
sert a gymnastic wherever it is possible." 

"March 13th, 4:57 a. m. 

"What is a mystery? A state revealed only to 
experience. All mysteries are to be revealed to 
humanity — mysteries of life and death and of the 
life to come.' , 

"March 23rd. 

"I shall accompany you to New Orleans, because 
I can not afford to lose one atom of rapport already 
gained. 

"Besides, this journey will afford me an oppor- 
tunity of making some interesting tests." 



250 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"March 24th, 2 135 a. m, 

"Madam, this is of all nights since that August 
evening when I first met you, and when our ulti- 
mate relation was revealed, the most interesting you 
have experienced. 

"I am glad you are to take food this week. You 
have from time to time slashed off so much dead 
tissue that we need a little new material for the 
new tissue that must be made to keep you in the 
body any longer. ,, 

"April 1st, 11:45 p. M. 

"Madam, more than a week and but for my cer- 
tain knowledge of how all this is to eventuate, I 
could not myself have borne what you have suf- 
fered. It seems a cruel week, but it was not so. 
As Conde has told me, you made a great stride in 
both physical strength and spiritual power. 

"Now, for one hour, I am to control your exer- 
cises in a way that will prove how our rapport has 
been strengthened during a period when I know 
you thought me inactive and when you believed 
yourself to be losing ground." 

"April 2nd, 1 :io. 

"Madam, the hour we had was really equal to 
three, and so must every hour of exercise for the 
next ten days be, and I shall try to have from two 
to three hours by the clock each day, for your body 
still contains refuse to be rejected. This is a most 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 251 

*narvelous example of tearing down and building 
up simultaneously. Now " 

Apropos of a meaningless sentence with which 
this communication closed, when at 5 145 p. m. on 
April 3rd, Rubinstein took my pencil, his first words 
were : 

"Madam, at the time you wrote that last sentence, 
you were so far gone in fatigue that I could neither 
control your hand nor instruct your mind. As you 
would say of a telephone, 'the wires were crossed/ 
i. e., another magnetic current became confused 
with mine, hence the nonsense." 

"April 7th, 12:15 A. M. 

"Madam, you perceive how stringent is the exer- 
cise we give you this week. We want you to get 
every atom of dead matter expelled by Easter and 
to have nothing left on your bones that is not new 
and vital." 

"April nth, 5:23 a. M. 

"Madam, our labors during this passing, almost 
past, week have been very severe. You have re- 
sponded to my demands better than I believed you 
could. What we aimed to attain we shall attain 
by Easter morn. What we aimed to do we shall 
have done. Practically there will be no atom of 
dead tissue on or within your frame," 



2$2 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"April 15, 5:45 a. M. 

"Madam, it is indeed time for me to bear a hand 
in these instructions, for our exercises must needs 
be preceded by some explanatory statements. 

"For seven months I have directed your exercises 
to this end, that dead, poisoned, excessive or mis- 
applied tissue might be destroyed. 

"These seven months have made you reasonably 
responsive to my impulses. But before you, lacking 
three days, there stretch the two months during 
which I must direct you into creative exercises; 
this is so much more severe because more interior, 
more subtle, more closely related to the vital force. 
Such exercise is more remote from consciousness 
and more exhausting in the first instance, but its 
second effect is always Life, Life, Life. 

"Life is our goal, and commencing now (your 
husband must first present some new helpers), you 
will for one week give us from one to three hours 
a day for creative exercises. 

"The rapport for this is difficult for all, impos- 
sible to most at the earth stage of being. You are 
to glide into it as if your native spontaneous form 
of expression; and from this first hour of creative 
exercise you will begin to feel the tide of renewal 
sweep through you. The current, at first gentle, 
hardly credible, will grow stronger and stronger un- 
til it ravishes you with its ecstasy." 

On April eighteenth Rubinstein expressed dis- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 253 

satisfaction with the amount of time assigned to 
him, saying: 

"The amount of food you now take daily, which 
is necessary, which you must take, will accumulate 
as mere adipose, unprofitable and cumbersome tis- 
sue, unless by creative exercise you are able to have 
it seized upon by the different forces and by them 
applied wherever in recent years death has con- 
quered life in your form." 

"April 19th, 7 :20 a. m. 

"Madam, what you have just read is true ; add to 
it what Conde has communicated and you have 
the outline of your method of being rebuilt. 

"Conde is to furnish a quite new magnetism to 
a certain end. This is to be administered while 
you eat your food and, if necessary, at intervals be- 
tween your repasts. You will perceive it, for al- 
ready are your mucous linings restored to a point 
where they respond to nervous impact . . . 

"The helpers just named will be with you and 
aid you as I try to direct you from destructive to 
creative gymnastics." 

"April 25th, 2 150 A. M. 

"Madam, you are astonished to find that you have 
written nothing at my dictation for nearly a week. 
In spite of this, I never directed you more con- 
stantly or more efficiently. 



254 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"Our rapport is so perfect that you respond to 
me wherever you are. Yes, I heard your talk to 
your young girls of me. You did it in response to 
my desire. 

"You do not know enough about me yet. You 
must learn more; and I think I shall presently be 
able to communicate anecdotes as well as instruc- 
tion without a word. I'm going to try it. To-mor- 
row night I'll dictate a story* for you to tell your 
girls just as I dictate it to your thought, 

"You have had a very hard night, and you need 
stimulant. The Pere, your husband and I will ad- 
minister magnetic restoratives to you as soon as you 
sleep." 

"April 26th, 10 P. M. 

"Madam, now listen and see if you can take a 
dictation instantaneously from my thought. If you 
can, you shall then write it from memory. For- this 
our rapport must be perfect." 

The "creative gymnastics" continued daily to 
June nth, 1903. Then they were intermittently 
directed — perhaps one should say of these interior 
exercises, communicated — until September eleventh, 
when Pere Conde announced: 



*This was done, and when I told the story, my youthful 
auditors were much amused. They asked me a hundred ques- 
tions which I answered instantly at R's silent dictation. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 255 
"Again the end is but the beginning" 

The statement was apparently more true of 
Rubinstein than of any other helper except my hus- 
band. 

Although prior to the experience I should have 
supposed myself more incapable of a sympathetic] 
and intelligent, intellectual and social intimacy with 
a great musician than with any other type of human 
distinction, it is a fact that from Rubinstein's first 
appearance to present date (a period of nearly 
seventeen years), the sense of congeniality almost 
immediately felt has increased and has become the 
apparent basis for one of the most delightful and 
most continuously and rarely helpful friendships 
with which my life has been blessed. Whether it 
will be my happy destiny to demonstrate the con- 
tinuance on earth of his supremacy in his own art, 
I do not know. That rests with the same power 
that initiated this acquaintance. But to him I owe 
much for indefatigable labor that was, I believe, as 
indispensable to the success of Pere Conde in his 
task of healing as were the devoted care and in- 
struction of the revered Pere himself. Moreover, 
to this distinguished friend I owe the joy of a rela- 
tively intelligent appreciation of one art entirely 
unknown to me prior to August 1 ith, 1902. 

The time I could give to music, compared witK 
that the Master desired, was limited, and only a 
small proportion of this limited time was spent at 



2$6 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

the piano, of which circumstances prevented any 
use from August of 1903 to August 1st, 1905. 
Then there followed one year when, with few ex- 
ceptions, I practised under the Master's instructions 
on Sunday mornings for from one to two hours; 
and within this period, viz. : from August 12th, 
1905, to and including Christmas night of the same 
year, I took in the evenings enough oral instruc- 
tions in theory, directions for practise, etc., etc., to 
result in a record of six hundred quarto pages in 
fine longhand script — reproduced from the short- 
hand notes of a critical observer* who was appar- 
ently sent from the other side of the world to do 
this service for me, and in whose presence it was 
all given and executed. 

From Christmas, 1905, to January of 1908, my 
piano was untouched by me save at long intervals, 
and since the latter date has been in storage. 

It is therefore quite evident that my dear Master 
has never had the opportunity to give me the prac- 
tise on the instrument anticipated by him always 
from our first meeting; and now for a long time 
ardently longed for by me; but his instructions in 
divers lines have continued, being imparted in divers 
ways to June, 19 19, and his visits have not been 
entirely suspended to date (December, 19 19). 



*Miss Wilhelmina Sheriffe Bain (now Mrs. Elliott) of 

Fortrose, Southland, New Zealand. 



CHAPTER X 

CULMINATION OF EXPERIENCES AT EASTERTIDE. 

PHYSICIAN WHO HAD PRONOUNCED CASE 

HOPELESS ADMITS CURE 

***^^Y child, in reply to your questions, you have 
1YX slept because your need of sleep was 
great. All of your teachers and guides have the pow- 
er to advance your growth during sleep. As a recom- 
pense for your abstinence and your obedience of 
yesterday, we shall give you some information con- 
cerning your experiences during the night. There 
is not one member of your group who has not done 
something to advance your progress, and now, each 
one of us, commencing with myself, will tell you his 
own part in this service. 

"For myself, I gave you a great quantity of the 
magnetism of repose, in consequence of which you 
have received the same refreshment and the same 
recuperation of energy that one quite exhausted 
would ordinarily receive from twenty-four hours of; 
uninterrupted sleep. 

"Here the law of proportion is always main- 
tained; and a novitiate achieves results in exact 
accord with his own efforts. There is not time 
now to explain everything ; and although each mem- 
ber of the group wishes to explain his or her part 
in your support and instruction, each will have to 
await an opportunity, for it is more than usually 
necessary to give you the day's orders at once. 

257: 



258 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"First, this is a day filled with labors of all kinds; 
but you, will have the strength to meet and to ac- 
complish them all. 

"Your breakfast will be water only, i. c, water 
without sugar; water well salted if you like, but 
nothing more. 

"I perceive that at your school there is a festival* 8 
and that young girls are serving luncheon to their 
mothers at a long table, over which you preside. 
There you are to eat everything, the meat included." 

As I had not tasted meat for five years, I was 
repelled by the suggestion. Apparently in response 
to this feeling, for I had said nothing, Pere Conde 
repeated : 

"Yes, the meat also. It is as necessary to know 
how to partake as to know how to abstain. This 
food so unusual will give you a kind of exaltation. 
The society of your friends will augment this; you 
will talk much — that is well — but do not speak of 
yourself, nor allow any reference to your winter's 
fast nor to your changed aspect ; prevent such refer- 
ence if possible; otherwise ignore it and talk of 
other subjects. " 

I asked if I were to sleep or to work that night. 

"If one may not obey two masters, neither may a 
master give two orders for the same day that are 



*This was the mid-year examination of a class in cookery 
which took the form of a luncheon to the mothers of the 
pupils who prepared it. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 259 

contradictory. You are given not permission, but 
direction to dine comfortably, then surely you will 
not be expected to abstain from sleep which will 
be needed for the assimilation of the food you will 
have taken; for calm of spirit and repose of body 
furnish the conditions for changing food into 
strength. 

'To assimilate food without fatiguing the body 
it is necessary to sleep while the final processes of 
digestion are in progress. 

"During your sleep, you have had a spiritual ex- 
perience of which you are not conscious, but the 
significance of which will be opened to you after 
a time." 

"February 16th. 

"You are perplexed; you wonder why if it was 
necessary for you to sleep all of night before last, 
when you are perfectly satisfied with your few hours' 
sleep of last night after a similar dinner. 

"The question is natural and reasonable. Your 
bath and the passive exercise you receive from your 
masseuse is equivalent to one, even to two, hours 
of sleep. 

"To-morrow, at that dinner* which it is a part of 
your duty to attend, eat and drink the menu pre- 
pared for your guests, including the meat and the 



*This was the mid-year examination of a more advanced 
class in cookery which took the form of a dinner at which 
the fathers of the pupils who prepared and served it, were 
the guests. 



260 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING I 

coffee. I know you do not wish the meat, but it is 
better; strangers can neither know nor understand 
your position; they will judge what they have heard 
you are doing by your social habits and by appar- 
ent physical results. Neither meat nor coffee is 
good for you, but I shall give you an antidoting 
magnetism which will prevent evil consequences." 

I now was told to prepare to exercise for the 
benefit of two guests in my home (relatives) the 
talents of an interpreter or medium, which even in 
November I had been told were matured, but which 
prior to this date I had practised for no one. 

"This is for you a new phase — a phase that im- 
poses grave responsibility. Whether it is best for 
you to have the power to hear, see and feel for 
others is a question that has been seriously con- 
sidered by your husband, Rubinstein and myself, 
and also by the less important members of your 
group of helpers. 

"At the beginning it was our intention^ to limit 
your power of writing and of clairaudience to 
receiving messages for yourself in order to protect 
you from the very great and curiously interior fa- 
tigue of writing for others; but after much con- 
sideration we have decided to place no such limit 
on your power by withholding our instructions. It 
is necessary for you to know, to understand and to 
practise all phases of this work, necessary for you 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 261 

to be trained to endure all fatigues and all priva- 
tions. 

"Why is it so much more difficult to receive for 
others than for one's self? 

"A moment's reflection will show you that mathe- 
matically it is three times as difficult; for the me- 
dium between two planes must herself be en rap- 
port with the medium on the Ether ic Plane, with 
the incarnate humans on the Earth Plane whom she 
serves, and with the excarnate humans on the 
Ether ic Plane, outside of her own group, whom she 
also serves." 

My duties on both Earth and Etheric Plane were 
heavily increased in the first quite dinnerless weeks. 
House guests compelled entertaining in their honor. 
My office in "The Indiana Union of Literary Clubs" 
led to my convening in my home its Executive (a 
dozen or more of the men and women of our state 
foremost in efforts for its cultural progress), where 
an executive session was followed by a dinner. 

Mid-year examinations just over were as usual 
followed by extra work caused by marking test pa- 
pers, reorganizing classes, admitting new pupils, 
etc., etc. 

On February fourteenth two of the officers of 
our National Council of Women paid me a visit to 
confer about preparations for the executive session 
which the Council had been invited to hold in New; 
Orleans. 



262 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

All of these most agreeable incidents meant in- 
creased work, and in directing my preparations for 
it, Pere Conde said: 

"You have enormous labors before you. Taste 
not one morsel of food. You have not one atom 
of strength to spend in assimilating food, nor one 
moment of time to spend in sleep, when only as- 
similation can be carried on with no draft on the 
strength." 

It was at this time that Pere Conde requested my 
husband to allow him to present to me the helper 
summoned by Rubinstein, already referred to. 

I saw this vigorous young man before the Pere 
pronounced his name. He had German features, 
blue eyes, golden hair, and a particularly beautiful 
throat. Pere Conde' s statement, "He is a German 
and a chorus master,' ' was unnecessary, but I did 
not know his name until the Pere pronounced it, 
"Johann Raimond." 

For the first time, as Raimond advanced to re- 
ceive my greeting, like a flash came the perception 
of the double odor of German and French magne- 
tism, and I knew, before learning his history, that 
in Raimond the qualities of both races were mixed. 

After introducing many persons by name, by de- 
scription, and by taking my spoken descriptions of 
them as their aspects and qualities came before my 
eyes, in response to my inquiry as to why my group 
was being so enlarged, Pere Conde replied: 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 263 

"The work we have undertaken with you is very 
difficult. With a very skeptical mind and a very 
stubborn body poisoned by a disease pronounced in- 
curable, we have to make a well strong body at- 
tuned to a mind open to all the several planes of 
life now accessible to incarnate humans. Such a 
labor demands a large number of laborers; and our 
method of cultivating union and harmony is by the 
employment of many different workers, to each of 
whom is assigned a small part." 

On February twenty-fourth Pere Conde told mei 
that I was about to enter on the most difficult part 
of that portion of my fast, which was devoted to 
the destruction and removal of diseased tissues and 
of poisonous fluids; that it was so severe that my 
whole nature would be in revolt, but that its se- 
verity could not be abated with safety. The Pere 
gave me the most serious warnings against the dan- 
ger of any reaction, which on February twenty- 
seventh were repeated with still greater emphasis. 

On March fourteenth Pere Conde wrote: 

"The dinner that you were allowed yesterday has 
yielded you both less pleasure and less benefit than 
other permitted repasts, for three reasons : 

"First, you were too insistent in regard to hav- 
ing it. 

"Second, you ate too much; and 

"Third, you attach too much importance to phys- 
ical things. But it is my duty to prevent as far as 



264 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

possible bad results; for this to you is not only a 
period of fasting, but a period of instruction. You 
are at the same time receiving revelations of un- 
known abilities within yourself and of hitherto un- 
known powers outside of . yourself. Both have 
really the same origin, or rather manifest through 
the same medium. Your hitherto unknown abilities 
are due to your possession of an etheric body. The 
hitherto unknown powers proceed from the hitherto 
unknown Etheric Plane of life." 

The middle of March, when total fast was to be 
extended to eight days, Pere Conde began his pre- 
scriptions in English, explaining that this was help- 
ful to rapport; and adding that my preparation for 
the next stage demanded that my ordinary work 
for the day should cease at six o'clock ; and I should 
that evening neither work in my office, nor receive 
communications from the Etheric Plane; but that 
I should relax utterly and consciously receive the 
magnetisms, which would give me the strength to 
take the next step. He advised me that as the ab- 
stinences became more absolute and extended to a 
longer period, sleep would be reduced to one hour 
in every twenty-four and that exercises would be 
proportionately increased in number, duration, com- 
plexity and severity. 

March fifteenth Pere Conde told me that he had 
held a council of all my helpers, and it had been de- 
cided that what hindered their immediate progress 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 265 

must be stopped before clairvoyance would come, 
and that clairvoyance must precede further mani- 
festations of health. 

At New Orleans the situation was very difficult 
because of the division of feeling about the admis- 
sion to the Executive of the representatives of "The 
National League of Colored Women," which was a 
member of the National Council of Women. 

The labors of the week were not only heavy and 
continuous, but delicate, and every hour from nine 
A. M. until midnight not occupied by the formal ses- 
sions was filled with interviews and private confer- 
ences. 

During all the time I was suffering a depleting 
attack which I supposed to be caused by the change 
in drinking water; and it disturbed me to feel that 
I could be affected by such a change. 

Before I left Indianapolis Pere Conde had as- 
sured me that I was entering on the severest period 
of my fast, but I had received no notion of what 
was before me. 

I was much perplexed, almost as perplexed, be- 
cause during the day I seemed free from this at- 
tack, as distressed, that during all of every night I 
suffered from it. 

Again the fear came that during the past months 
I might have been self -deceived ; but this was over- 
come by my consciousness of the presence of these 
strong personalities to whose ceaseless instructions 
I owed so much. In my most skeptical moment I 



266 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

could not yield my conviction of the reality of these 
friends, from whom I wished to hide my fears, 
since, assuming their reality, every fear was an 
accusation against them of ignorance or treason. In 
my bewilderment and embarrassment, Pere Conde 
spoke : 

"My child, I pity you; I see all your misgivings, 
your agitations, which you seek to hide, if you can 
not conquer. They grieve us ; but we try to remem- 
ber the difficulty of the test you are bearing. We 
can only say that we are we; not creatures of your 
fancy; not decoys projected from a world of illu- 
sion for the pleasure of involving still incarnate 
mortals in delusions. We are more consciously 
ourselves, real entities, than you are; because we, 
our entities, have a more developed power of mani- 
festation than when incarnated, we, therefore, feel 
more deeply wounded by having our entities repu- 
diated and by being assailed as shadows, than you 
would under the same imputation; but you will re- 
turn to yourself and call your helpers back to you 
when you arrive at your home; for there you will 
find that the helpers that stayed in your home and 
your school while we accompanied you to New 
Orleans have effected undeniable results, which with 
your knowledge of the real condition of affairs you 
can contribute only to them; though onlookers will 
call it 'good hick' and 'fortunate circumstances/ 
etc. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 267 

"To believe what I tell you is not credulity; it 
is faith; and faith is the bread of eternal life/' 

Arriving at home, Pere Conde explained: 

"What apparently was an illness at New Orleans 
was a purification of the body; it was like a bath 
of the entire circulatory system; all impurities of 
the blood were expelled and you have thus been put 
in condition to experience a growth of quite new 
and pure flesh, as soon as the upbuilding which is 
near at hand begins/ ' 

I was reminded that my helpers were obliged to 
take me through a fast "without interrupting or 
lessening work on what is called the normal plane," 
and that, while it would perhaps have been easier 
for them as well as for me, to have had this crisis 
of purification occur when I was at home, it was not 
compatible with the terms of their contract to keep 
me at home. 

"It was really best that this should occur when 
you were in the midst of exacting and imperative 
duties, which you could not retire from without 
mortification. Your responsibility to attend to those 
duties, each as it came, caused a continuous pre- 
occupation of your own thoughts that gave an ac- 
cessibility to our aid which otherwise had been im- 
possible. 



268 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"The end of the seven months assigned for the 
novitiate approaches, and you have entered on the 
final fast. There remain eleven days before the 
arrival of Easter. During this time you will touch 
no morsel of food except on Sunday morning when, 
in your effort to maintain all domestic customs, you 
will breakfast with your niece, where it is better to 
take food and avoid criticism than to take none 
and incur criticism or even comment." 

I protested that in my reduced condition I could 
not endure eleven more days of total abstinence 
from food except one slight breakfast. Pere Conde 
replied : 

"Except for superhuman efforts your growth 
would have been suspended during your absence 
in New Orleans; you know it was not. With the 
magnetisms which we shall furnish you, you will 
have not the smallest need of food; and if you are 
obedient, normal habits, at least in respect to food, 
will be resumed on Easter Day." 

I asked about a magnetism in which for sev- 
eral days I had felt a new influence. The Pere 
assured me that it came from the Celestial Plane 
through the Etheric; that on the Celestial Plane 
it was the food of power and that when trans- 
mitted to an incarnate on earth it prevented both 
hunger and thirst. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 269 

"With this magnetism you will be filled, and you 
will be perfectly satisfied. You will feel stronger 
instead of weaker during all these days. — clairvoy- 
ance and clairaudience will both be sharpened 
by it" 

In discussing the cleansing process to which I 
was being subjected, Conde often said: 

"Such renewal is costly but you will find it worth 
the price." 

On April ninth Pere Conde declared his satisfac- 
tion in my maintenance of strength for labors con- 
tinuing day and night without f ood^ but added : 

"There remains much to be done before we can 
pronounce you cured; but if you continue your 
efforts, the results are as certain as that dawn suc- 
ceeds night." 

On April tenth, at 5 150 a. m., after I had worked 
all night in performing some severe physical exer- 
cises, Conde urged me to perform others to which 
I objected because dictated by detailed description, 
they seemed difficult beyond the possibility of execu- 
tion. He begged me thus to prove my affectionate 
gratitude to Rubinstein "who has grown spiritually 
almost as much as you have changed corporeally." 



270 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

Pere Conde then blessed me, placing his hands on 
my head and I saw him clearly, in the simple black 
robe of an ordinary priest. 

It was on the eve of Good Friday that I ex- 
perienced a recurrence of the exhaustion and de- 
pression the first and only other attack of which 
had occurred in November, as described in an 
earlier chapter. Like the former it lasted only a 
half -hour and was dispelled by what seemed like 
a forcible entrance of Pere Conde into my con- 
sciousness with these words, which appeared so 
suddenly on the paper that I do not clearly know 
whether I held the pencil while they were written 
or not: 

"April tenth. Oh, my child, your condition is 
pitiable. You have been so filled with faith, with 
efficacious faith, with faith that gave you strength 
and wisdom ; and now ? why, now you actually doubt 
that / exist. But you are not deceived. Every 
promise made will be fulfilled a thousand times — • 
but you must drink the cup" 

On April eleventh, at 5:50 a. m., Pere Conde 
wrote : 

"This day will be very difficult and you will be 
tempted to take a little food and to drink a little too 
much water. I wish to protect you by this an- 
nouncement. You must continue perfectly abstinent 
because it is true that a great crisis draws near. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 2711 

"The work of this night will finish the labor be- 
gun now seven months ago, and to-morrow you will 
have all the pleasures and privileges of a bountiful 
Easter table. 

"Moderation is always well but you will be per- 
fectly free and no limit will be set to> your indul- 
gence in three repasts except those set by your own 
judgment; with to-morrow the work of rebuilding 
you from head to foot begins ; and as we must first 
gather in the material for this rebuilding you must 
again have vapor baths at least four times a week 
each followed by an hour's massage. 

"There are still many hard days, many trying 
experiences before you, but danger has passed and 
for the present you shall be happy. Easter will 
bring you many gifts* — I see them coming and see 
your pleasure in them. 

"Pray, love, work: Be honest and simple. You 
will not be misled as you have not been hitherto." 

On April thirteenth, Easter Monday, I awoke at 
5 130 a. m., after more than six hours of sleep. As 
this was six times what I had for weeks been per- 
mitted to have, it was with a feeling of deep shame 
and penitence that I realized my self-indulgence; 

*On Easter Day the expectation excited by this reference 
to presents was more than realized in numerous remem- 
brances from anxious friends, who testified to their pleasure 
in my continued life by gifts, that turned my whole house 
into a bower. Many of these gifts were accompanied by notes 
confessing that their writers had not believed I could live 
until Easter. 



$p NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

but instantly from Pere Conde came the vocal 
;words, later repeated for record : 

"All is well. Remember the Law; the more one 
has eaten the more sleep does he need. 

"Henceforth I shall for two months continue my 
daily prescriptions, but I now indicate a choice that 
will be yours, viz., eat a little at each of the three 
regular meals, or a little more at each of any two, 
or heartily at one, taking the one you most enjoy." 

The day following Easter I received a very long 
letter with general directions for the building-up 
period ending with the statement: 

"In your case there are such a multitude of ob- 
jects involved that one must see from day to day 
almost from hour to hour, which is the most im- 
portant and prescribe accordingly. 

"From this time I shall commence to speak regu- 
larly instead of writing, though you may afterward 
write out for record what you have received clair- 
audiently." 

On April fourteenth, Pere Conde said : 

"My own success at this moment is perfect. Your 
attitude of mind and the conditions of your body 
are exactly what I have desired.' ' 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 27$ 

This remark came in reply to my deep disappoint- 
ment, for now perfect liberty being restored I found 
myself almost indifferent to food; the anticipated 
pleasure in such freedom was lacking. To my; 
complaints, Pere Conde replied: 

"If your appetite were as gratified by food as 
'formerly you would eat too much; and if you re- 
garded food with the same pleasure as formerly 
the spiritual experiences of the last hard seven 
months would be lost." 

During the upbuilding, when taking food, I had 
the most curious sensations. Hardly had it reached 
my throat before I felt it seized by thousands of 
greedy atoms competing for it. I questioned Pere 
Conde. 

"You are quite right; the processes of digestion 
Shave all been so rapid and so perfect that you actu- 
ally have felt the process of growth, which is a 
process as difficult to feel as to understand. 

"To build is much more difficult than to destroy. 

"To rebuild your mind, or rather to reshape your 
attitude of mind, is far more difficult than to re- 
build your body. To hold your body pure, no epi- 
curean desire can accompany the food ; nor may fear 
of any evil consequence be associated with it. 

"The most difficult part of our remaining task is 
•to reline all your nasal passages, and all the cavities 



274 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

and passages connected therewith, with perfectly- 
new membrane.' ' 

The varieties of magnetism increased. They 
were distinguished by their odors and I frequently 
perceived these so clearly that I feared others would 
perceive them and inquire concerning their source; 
but I soon discovered that they were perceptible only 
to clair-sentients. 

I began to be alarmed. To myself I looked more 
ill than I had ever looked before. My eyes looked 
dull, my voice grew husky, and I felt heavy and mis- 
erable. After a day of these sensations and obser- 
vations, I demanded an explanation. Conde agreed 
that these symptoms all existed but said they were 
temporary, and resulted from my being compelled 
to take great quantities of food because his need of 
building materials was so great. 

On April twenty-third Pere Conde told me that 
my perception of odors which was increasing in 
keenness was what enabled me to perceive the route 
I was going and that I certainly knew I should pub- 
lish the history of my unusual experience. 

On that night I received from more than a dozen 
of its participants interesting reports of a council 
that had been convened by Conde to discuss my 
case. After each had written concerning what most 
interested himself, Pere Conde resumed: 

"It is impossible for you to understand all thi9 
at once, but gradually as your condition improves 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 275 

your perceptions will open to understand and to 
demonstrate all that we have indicated. 

"The hardest part remains though the most dan^ 
gerous has been passed. Hardest because it will 
more and more grow interior from day to day; 
until at last you will have joined the body with the 
spirit in each remote part and the harmony of the 
machine shall have become perfect. 

"Your order now is to continue the present regi- 
men a little exaggerated ; i. e., take the three repasts 
daily and, if convenient, four. Eat much; drink 
much, particularly of black coffee. On the first of 
May your diet will be much refined. You will con- 
tinue to take three daily meals, but no fish and no 
vegetables except those absolutely fresh and newly 
grown; cereals, fruits and dishes most delicately 
made. You will continue to drink coffee but not 
so frequently, not so strong; you will add tea to 
your dietary. You will need this delicate stimula- 
tion. After June tenth, I hope you will be very 
moderate in all the exercises of your life/* 

All that Pere Conde had said of the ill effects of 
coffee and tea led me to protest. He assured me 
that I then needed the stimulants, that he should 
counteract the poisonous element they contained, 
by effective magnetisms. He added : 

"Yes, it is curious, but true ; and only slowly will 
you be able to perceive, to retain, and to under- 
stand what I say of magnetism. 



276 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"Remain a long time in the bath this evening, 
and to-morrow remain one hour in the vapor cabi- 
net." 

Beginning May fifth my hours for sleep were in- 
creased in order, as Conde explained, that "the 
three great batteries" (himself, my husband and 
Rubinstein) might pour out their magnetisms when 
I was perfectly relaxed and therefore receptive. 

"The necessity for sleep is measured by the quan- 
tity of food and this last month, from May tenth 
to June eleventh, will in respect to food be very 
severe. During this month you should sleep for 
even five hours consecutively, not more. We are 
giving you a great quantity of magnetism of many 
varieties, including that of repose, but even the large 
quantity of this that I shall give you does not substi- 
tute all the sleep you need at present.' ' 

During this period what I learned to call mag- 
netic slumber was often indulged in; and I was told 
that Pere Conde, who alone could induce it, would 
use every moment not otherwise well employed in 
such sleep. Sometimes it was induced when I did 
not wish it; and once after sleeping through a long 
essay read at a club by one of my friends I pro- 
tested that I had not wished to sleep then. But 
the Pere assured me that not one thought had beer* 
presented wjth which I was not perfectly; familiar, 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 277 

and promised that, while I was so pressed for time, 
although he must use in magnetic sleep every mo- 
ment that could be spared, he would never induce 
such sleep to my loss of anything either trifling or 
important which I did not already know. I believe 
that that promise was faithfully kept, but I was 
often mortified by unintentional sleep. I, however, 
became gradually conscious that even occasional 
minutes of solitude that occurred during the day, 
and interims between classes (which seldom ex- 
ceeded five minutes) were utilized to secure refresh- 
ing sleep; although, very seldom during this period 
was I conscious of desiring sleep. 
From the same letter I quote: 

"From the beginning of time, always the spirit 
has preceded the body, and there is not simply one 
spirit in one body in a mortal, but every morsel, ew 
ery atom of what you call a person, possesses a 
spirit and a body. 

"Having denuded your skeleton of its old gar- 
ments you must clothe it anew and this new robe 
is to be partly constructed of food. When youp 
new robe is created and adjusted, a prescription 
will be given for keeping it in repair." 

I was really much more frightened by the quan- 
tity and stimulating character of the food pre- 
scribed for me after Easter Monday than I had) 
been by the severest stipulations of abstinence; and 



278 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

I quote these words from my constant observer and 
critic as they disclose my mental attitude better than 
any direct statement of mine could. 

"I do think it amusing- that at the end of a seven 
months' fast of almost unprecedented severity, one 
day's eating should fill you with anxiety and dis- 
gust." 

The day following 1 Easter I was told that a new 
corps of helpers would be presented to me, the divi- 
sion of labor on the Etheric Plane being so exact 
that those who would aid my rebuilding must be 
entirely different from those who had participated 
in the destruction of my body: 

"Just as different as on the plane of manual labon 
are the scavengers and wagoners who haul away the 
old materials, from the architects, masons and car- 
penters who put up a new structure on the cleared 
off old site. 

"To continue the simile: You do not expect 
to know by name the day laborers who cart off 
debris; but the architect and contractor have an in- 
dividual claim on the acquaintance of their em- 
ployer. As many nameless ones have wrought for 
you during the seven months devoted to destruction, 
now many important upbuilders enter your sphere 
and establish themselves in your service for the rest 
of your term, whose names, personality and indi- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 279 

yidual share in the work, you must know; so, only, 
can these serve. 

"Among these, one of the most important is be- 
ing installed as an assistant to Mesmer; his one 
service will be to supply a magnetism that will re- 
store to its highest vigor mucous membrane. It 
is to him and to Mesmer that you will owe your re- 
stored sense of smell, since it is upon this membrane 
that the ends of myriads of nerves impinge through 
which this peculiar sense of smell is communicated 
to the physical consciousness." 

I was assured that more than a score of expert 
upbuilders were working with me (constantly and 
double that number for me ; and it is quite true that 
their presence was much more disturbing than had 
been that of the destroyers. Sometimes I felt re- 
duced to the limit of my endurance by the draught 
which their labors seemed to make on my strength ; 
but when I complained and asked that their work 
might be temporarily suspended I was! told re- 
peatedly orally — the substance of what was phrased 
for record, thus : 

"The process of building is much finer and of 
necessity a much greater strain on its subject than 
the process of tearing down. Indeed the latter 
which your experience for the last seven months 
leads you to regard as seriously: difficult, is, by 
comparison, easy." 



280 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

During this period the magnetic sleep given mei 
while in the long hot baths was one of my greatest 
luxuries, though it was a great test of the nerves 
and also of the fidelity of my masseuse, who had 
never heard of baths an hour long, neither of a! 
patient's sleeping during a bath; but on awakening 
perfectly well and rested, I met her protests by 
assuring her that I was following as strictly as pos- 
sible the advice of the wisest physician of my ac- 
quaintance, whose prescriptions were most carefully 
written out in full. I partially overcame her fears 
by repeating this assurance at 1 least once a week 
during her long and faithful service. I here grate- 
fully acknowledge that she controlled her curiosity 
as to the identity of this wise physician better than 
any one else who ever questioned me about him atj 
all. 

Rapport with my great teachers and with my hus- 
band seemed to diminish toward the end of April; 
and I complained that I was less sure than formerly 
whether the ideas new to me, and ideas on subjects 
not formerly considered by me at all, proceeded 
from my own mind or from theirs. My husband 
explained the situation thus : 

"As rapport increases it will become more difficult 
for you to distinguish between your thoughts and 
our suggestions. There will all the time be fewer 
obstructions to prevent their inflow. 

"In a certain sense all thought is one, and when 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 281 

you have received a thought it is yours; and when 
you receive it without difficulty it seems to have 
originated in your mind. We do not wish the 
credit of originating or communicating your ideas 
but we do not wish this very circumstance which 
should increase your faith in us to be turned into* 
an occasion of skepticism." 

This statement was followed by numerous tests 
of my ability to receive impressions about food, 
drink, bathing, exercise, music, magnetism, etc., 
without the intervention of a word or of any per- 
ceptible passage of time. 

A few days later came explanations of newly ar- 
rived sensations. 

"You feel us working with your hands because 
we work with those last and waken you just as 
we withdraw. 

"The sensations you describe are caused by the 
efforts of Rubinstein who has called to his aid 
other masters. These have united their forces to 
fill every cell and every interstice between cells in 
your body with harmonic magnetism. 

"Yes, if we accomplish our purpose your eyes 
will become better than they ever were at their very 
best and you will dispense with spectacles entirely.*" 



*Ten years previous our reputed best oculist had equipped 
me with five pairs of glasses for various uses, one for read- 
ing only very fine print; and had assured me that partial if not 
total blindness was inevitable on account of what he called a 



282 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

The Saturday before Easter after the weekly 
weighing and measuring which had been directed at 
the beginning of Pere Conde's treatment in Septem- 
ber, I compared the record not as usual with that of 
the previous Saturday, but with that of September 
nth, 1902. On the latter date I had weighed one 
hundred eighty-nine pounds and had a waist meas- 
ure of thirty-six inches. I now, at one hundred 
eleven pounds weight and a measure of twenty-five 
inches, rejoiced over the loss of seventy-eight pounds 
of flesh and eleven inches of girth. The Saturday 
following Easter showed a gain of six pounds. 
Discussing this with Pere Conde I was disappointed 
by what was implied in these words : 

"Within these two months you will be upbuilt 
only to the extent that the new material will be 
gathered and stored within your body for the use 
of the builders who have its entire reparation in 
charge." 



curious construction of the eye for which "there is no remedy," 
which would in time make all spectacles next to useless. Al- 
ready four pairs of my glasses had become useless ; and I 
used the lenses that had been made for fine print on coarse 
print only, being unable to read fine print at all. It was there- 
fore with not much hope that I received this statement. 

The recovery of my eyes is quite a separate story; but as 
a matter of fact, the restoration of vision was undertaken 
and from 1905 I have read coarse print without lenses. For 
two years I continued the use of my coarse-print spectacles 
for fine print only; but in 1907 all artificial aids were aban- 
doned having become unnecessary, and during these last 
twelve years my eyes, quite without glasses of any sort, have 
been subjected to the hardest as well as the most continuous 
use they have ever known, on all kinds of print and script in 
yarious languages. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 283 

On June tenth I was told by Pere Conde that the 
material had been gathered, but owing to some hind- 
rances caused by preoccupations and by some in- 
stances of disobedience, that it had not been well 
stored and that practically three weeks had been lost. 
This information was softened by these words : 

"Although this period of upbuilding has experi- 
enced some vicissitudes, it has on the whole been 
characterized by remarkable conformity to indica- 
tions from this plane." 

On June twenty-second I was told by my hus- 
band that I should receive no more communications 
from the Etheric Plane until July first. 

"We shall all be serving you on this plane, but 
in ways that render this form of communication 
difficult and inadvisable. 

"The letters you will receive for the next few 
months are written at great cost not only to their 
respective writers but to the entire group of your 
helpers; and will be written only when, in spite of 
this, Pere Conde has the conviction that, on the 
whole, it is better to write for exact record." 

To my protest against such severe efforts the 
reply was : 

"You need not feel badly over our effort; over 



284 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

the cost to us; it is an investment we choose to 
make." 

July was marked by some important changes in 
the severe exactions. On July tenth Pere Conde 
wrote : 

"Our specific work will continue until September 
tenth. We really gave ourselves a full year for 
recreating a diseased human body and for so instruct- 
ing a human soul, that by virtue of its new develop- 
ment in a knowledge of the fine forces of nature, 
its* now habitable tenement will be kept in repair. 
We therefore shall continue our specific work for 
two months." 

On August eleventh there was a celebration of 
the anniversary of the introduction of my great 
masters, by important and numerous letters; from 
one of these I quote: 

"You have thought that your regimen would be 
continued until August eleventh. Even until Sep- 
tember eleventh shall we work, even until our work 
is accomplished. . . . 

"Mesmer has still much to do ; as have ; and 

our dear Pere, who has assembled all these assist- 
ants,* will retain a special coterie of generators of 



*New workers were enumerated, some of whom were pre- 
sented, but their names will adorn a subsequent story as 
their labors have enriched subsequent years. 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 285 

magnetism and will devote his energies, augmented 
by theirs, to putting you into possession of your 
present possible maximum of force creative and re- 
sistive; for you must know how, by a skilful use 
of constructive magnetism, to create beneficent con- 
ditions for yourself and through an equally skilful 
use of destructive magnetism you must learn to ap- 
ply such to the destruction and conquest of evil 
limitations. ,, 

During this period my work in what my readers 
would regard the normal world was increasingly 
difficult. I had kept one secretary steadily employed 
in Council work for weeks prior to the close of the 
school on the first Wednesday in June, 1903. From 
that date I directed two secretaries in this work at 
the same time that I was busy with the usual prepa- 
rations for the next school year. 

As a meeting of the Executive of the Interna- 
tional Council of Women had been convened in 
Dresden for the third week of August of that year, 
I sailed for Europe early in that month, returning 
the middle of September to enter upon a year of 
continuous twofold activity. 

What must have been my physical condition that 
such double labor for school and Council could be 
performed without fatigue? To whom and to what 
did I owe this restoration? In the enjoyment of a 
constantly improving health I was satisfied until 
a critical friend reminded me that "only a physician 



286 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

could really know whether the disease had been 
cured." 

Then my condition was subjected to the same 
kind of inspection by the same chemist through the 
same physician whose report of his analytical tests 
had condemned me as the victim of an "incurable 
malady." To him of course my identity with the 
condemned patient was not disclosed; but when to 
the same physician who had brought me the first 
verdict he sent reports of "perfect normality" the 
only remark of the good physician and kind friend 
was that the "diagnosis in the first instance must 
have been incorrect. But," she added, "you looked 
the malady." 

This kind and able woman doctor did express a 
deep interest in the agencies which had been em- 
ployed to secure what she called my "apparent re- 
storation"; but I was not then prepared to reveal 
what this volume discloses. 

On September eleventh, I held a large and mem- 
orable reception for my great teachers, which lasted 
all night, during which I received many letters "for 
record." The last sentence in Pere Conde's "letter 
for record" of that date, is : 

"You have passed another great crisis, but again : 
THE END is but a BEGINNING." 

Having tested the reality of my teachers and the 
validity of their instructions by the continued con- 



NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 287 

scious experience of more than seventeen difficult 
years since the restoration of my health by their 
patient skill, I now submit the story of the first year 
of my conscious intimacy with them with the hope 
that it will not pass without beneficent influence on 
its readers. 



THE END 



Appendix 

Psychic Law 



LECTURE I 

SPIRIT RETURN 

44 / T^ HIS is the beginning of a series of lessons 
JL on Psychic Law and reveals the mystery of 
what is commonly known as 'Spirit Return.' Here 
am I, who died nearly seven years ago, talking to 
you just as a deaf mute who knew how to write 
would talk, for death has removed me to a plane 
where I miss the atmosphere that conveys sounds. 
This atmosphere being absent, a mortal voice and 
mortal ears are no longer useful; but a new atmos- 
phere, the etheric, is susceptible to vibrations from 
both your plane and mine. Therefore when youi 
speak in a voice and manner that awaken ether 
I can catch it; and when I can put an etheric wave 
in motion, I am audible to you. Now lay aside thisi 
book and take a new one dedicated to this subject- 
"You will be inspired, i. e., moved, to say the 
fitting word. I am merely your interpreter. Your 
teacher is the greatest expounder of Psychic Law on 
this plane, nameless yet to you. I am his pupil; 
and by interpreting his instructions I become your 
teacher by proxy." 

After some work that was unsatisfactory to me 3 
in response to my complaint and my incredulity, my 
husband wrote : 

291! 



292 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

"You are getting the main ideas correctly; but 
the truth is I tried to give you the thoughts and 
leave the words to you; and you are not yet quite 
ready for that You yet desire 'verbal inspiration' ; 
what many people, you included, have deemed im- 
possible. I think impression — by which I mean 
inspiration of thought only — is the most desirable 
form of communication; but your fear that you will 
misunderstand the thought compels me to resort to 
verbal dictation." 

Beginning of Lecture Proper 

"The world has grown skeptical of immortality or 
holds the doctrine in such superstitious regard that 
any intelligent attempt to prove it is deemed blas- 
phemous. 

"I shall assume that you know that good and sim- 
ple souls, devout and God-fearing, have from the 
beginning of historic time claimed a knowledge of 
immortality. How has such knowledge been 
gained? Exactly as any knowledge of a foreign 
country has been gained, viz. : by going thither or 
by receiving thence intelligent guests capable of giv- 
ing an accurate account of what they have wit- 
nessed and experienced. 

"Just as one who has been to another country has 
usually much to say that is of little interest, so 
much of little interest has been reported from the 
next plane of life. 

"It does not reduce the fascination of the courts, 



APPENDIX 293 

cathedrals, galleries, museums and scenery of Eu- 
rope that many returned travelers tell you only of 
its restaurants, prisons and slums and that many 
of its natives who come hither have apparently 
been blind and deaf to the historic associations and 
the artistic treasures of the lands whence they have 
come. 

"If many people who claim in a trance state to 
have gotten a foretaste of the land that lies on the 
other side of death seem not much to have profited 
by the experience and as many mortals who claim 
to have returned thence bring information of small 
value, this no more discounts the facts of continuity 
of life and of the wealth of the resources of its next 
plane than does the ignorance of immigrants or 
the frivolity of summer tourists discount to the 
minds of intelligent Americans the existence and the 
resources of Europe and the Orient. 

"The important thing is to learn the route by 
which to reach Europe and the Orient that we may 
see and hear for ourselves. So the important thing 
is that we shall know the law by which one may 
enter and explore the life beyond the grave. 

"A spirit after the dissolution of the bond that 
confines it within the body experiences no change 
of essence or of character. The only changes are 
in its environment and in its capacity for move- 
ment and for communication. It finds itself un- 
jclothed of flesh but clothed upon with as real a 
body of finer texture which we may name ether* 



294 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

This word, a few years ago unknown and more 
lately uncomprehended, we now know names a stuff 
capable of analysis and description and adapted to 
as definite a use in the unfolding of humanity as is 
the physical atmosphere, some elements of which 
have now for centuries been known to man. 

"Ether is a fluid that interpenetrates the air; it 
is indeed that element in air which has escaped the 
analytical chemist ; it is a compound substance whose 
elements are not yet discernible or tangible to mor- 
tal comprehension. It is a finer atmosphere sur- 
rounding as well as interpenetrating the atmosphere 
which we breathe and in which we find the elements 
that sustain our mortal bodies. It is the inhalation 
of the ether within the atmosphere by the mind 
within the body that keeps the mind in vital relation 
with its fleshly encasement. 

"Death is the severing of the etheric bond. Death 
separates the triune tenant from the body by the 
fact that the tenant is thus cut off from its connec- 
tion with the ether within the atmosphere. The 
triune tenant is sometimes called spirit, sometimes 
soul by those who, without knowledge, believe in 
soul as the permanent substance of the human. It 
is usually called mind by those who realize the 
tenant only through its ability to acquire knowl- 
edge and who further believe that the mind's only 
source of knowledge or the sole mediums of its 
acquisition are the bodily senses. 

"The tenant thus disembodied (unhoused) finds 



APPENDIX 293 

itself to be still itself, moved by the same emotions, 
passions and aspirations as when incarnated. It 
finds every mental emotional and spiritual aptitude 
quickened by its release from the flesh. It soon 
realizes that the flesh which, while it remained on 
earth, was its chief instrument, was also its chief 
obstruction. Relieved of this impediment, that is 
of this body with its carnal passions, which must 
always be distinguished from the passions of the 
soul, the tenant naturally sets about the task of 
learning all that is learnable about its new condi- 
tions, and if it has strong ties with those who still 
remain on earth, it sets about the task of readjust- 
ing its relationships. This, disembodied spirits have 
been trying to do for countless ages, and, just as 
on earth, there is at least no historic age that has 
not produced illuminated men and women who have 
solved the question of the origin and the destiny of 
man, vaguely perhaps, but nobly still, so in the life 
on the other side of the grave also since death first 
was, the law of evolution has been working and 
severed souls have sought return and again and 
again have done so successfully; but just as with in- 
ventions and discoveries on earth, one age has 
sought out and another age has availed itself of dis- 
covery or applied the invention; so, here what the 
independent seekers found, what the gigantic in- 
ventors have made, have remained necessarily in- 
operative until, in fulness of time, an age should 
come, a day, this day, when in increasing numbers 



296 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

those who have experienced death try to return to 
earth. 

"Desire always precedes attainment. A desire 
must be approximately universal before an attain- 
ment can be reached by numbers of appreciable con- 
sequence. 

"Human affection is as subject to evolutionary 
law as is any other human quality. The germs of 
affections exist in all created beings, human and 
subhuman; but their development and their in- 
tensity depend upon the stage of evolution reached. 
Only within recent centuries have human affections 
approximated maturity; so only within the same 
period have human affections, with any degree of 
universality, survived death and sent thoughts of 
longing back to earth. As the numbers feeling these 
longings have increased and as they have united to 
concentrate upon the Earth Plane, where loved ones 
have been left, the Magnetic Force of Mass, which is 
a law equally effective on all planes, has operated to 
draw the longings of survivors to the plane imme- 
diately reached through death, where ether, as an 
atmosphere and a life-sustaining element, takes the 
place of air as an atmosphere and as the life sustain- 
ing factor in mortal environment. 

"We have said that it is through ether's being 
inhaled by the mind, so to speak, that the mind is 
held in the body at all. After death, connection 
with the air, the atmosphere, is quite relinquished, 
because that air is used only by the mortal body, but, 



APPENDIX 297 

the mind still is sustained by ether, and consequently 
the mind has the power to relate the pure ether in 
the realm which succeeds death to the ether, which 
exists on this plane of life only as an envelope of 
our atmosphere and as an interpenetrating fluid, 
still unrecognized by most incarnate humans, and 
still not analyzed by any. Thus the mind, after 
death, by long series of experimentations, finds 
itself capable of returning to the Earth Plane, so 
to speak, by the etheric route. On this plane we 
have great volumes of accumulated proof that ex- 
carnate humans for ages have, in increasing num- 
bers, tried to find the return route to earth. Not 
until those left on earth were far enough developed 
affectionally and spiritually to respond in propor- 
tionate numbers to that longing, was the discovery, 
which was known to Socrates and which antedates 
his time, made available for the common use of 
humanity. Let me introduce a simile: Long be- 
fore the age of Columbus the eyes of many a daunt- 
less explorer had been turned to the world beyond 
the seas. In prehistoric times the way had been 
found, as we now know, by the prehistoric remains 
of lofty ancient civilizations which prove them to 
be allied with Aryan civilizations of antiquity, but 
not yet was this Western World the property of 
the world as a whole. Ages passed by and the 
Phoenicians found these shores ; but, at such expense 
of suffering and of treasure that it paid them bet- 
ter to confine their expeditions to nearer territory. 



S98 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

More ages passed ; and the sturdy Northmen came. 
Little cared those hardy adventurers for suffering; 
less still for cost, for they had no luxurious uses 
for their wealth; but still the shores were too re- 
mote, too unknown and too destitute of immediate 
return to serve as a lure for either Europe or the 
East; and the Western World slumbered for cen- 
turies longer — until Columbus came ; and even then, 
so futile compared to his effort seemed his labors, 
that another century rolled by before Europe as a 
whole was awakened to the fact that half of the 
world was yet untrod by her sons and that the hour 
had struck which should mark her awakening to 
the existence and the availability of this New World 
beyond the Western Seas. 

"Similar to this is the story of the Conquest of 
Earth by departed spirits and the Conquest of Death 
by surviving friends. 

"Socrates knew that death did not of necessity 
divide two realms. The Immortality he taught was 
an immortality that gave the soul of man the prom- 
ise of conscious possession of prenatal realms, and 
also of earth after death as well as before it. Soc- 
rates also knew as a theory what has been here said 
of ether. Ages passed and Swedenborg, following 
Socrates even as Columbus followed the Norsemen, 
and as the Norsemen followed the Phoenicians, be- 
gan to make available the discoveries of a prior age. 
Swedenborg knew that his was no discovery in the 
sense of uncovering a hitherto concealed fact.. His 



APPENDIX '299 

was a re-discovery for trie benefit of the common 
mind of what Socrates had discovered only to 
philosophers. 

"Three centuries passed and what Swedenborg 
had brought within the knowledge of the learned 
men of Europe a little band of unintentional in- 
vestigators brought within the vision of a wider 
but less 'cultivated circle in America. Because so 
uncultivated, so crude, so simple, the world refused 
its credence, but nevertheless the discovery created 
interest; it gained adherents, and at last the effort 
to know has become at least respectable through the 
establishment of The Society for Psychic Research. 

"This society has wrought a good work, but so 
great has been the desire of its members to guard 
against delusions that its energies have to a degree 
been paralyzed by a caution which is not far re- 
moved from fear. 

"At last, many simple people, investigating only 
for the solace of their wounded hearts, have experi- 
enced an unanticipated illumination of intellect and 
they know the Etheric Plane exactly as others know 
the existence of the Atlantic — because they have 
crossed it. They know the land, the realm, the 
plane, the condition beyond death exactly — to con- 
tinue the parallel — as others know the lands that 
border the eastern shore of the Atlantic; because 
they have visited them, or because they have held 
£lose converse with those whose home is there and 
who are wonted to its conditions, its occupations^ 



Soo NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

its views, its current thought. Just as the Atlantic, 
which once was only a name in human ears signify- 
ing something vast and vague, and indicating a bar- 
rier, an eternal separation, has become familiar to 
our youngest children, who alone, without mother 
or nurse, can cross it safely in any good captain's 
care — so ether, still to many a name given, as they 
suppose, by the overwrought fancy to a non-existing 
element, has, to other many, become not only a 
real but as definite a cognomen as oxygen itself, 
with which it is indeed most closely related. Ether, 
the atmosphere which the mind inhales so long as it 
needs to inhale anything to sustain its relation with 
the physical body — ether, which is the envelope and 
the interpenetrating vitality of the earth's atmos- 
pheric envelope — the existence of this ether as a 
condition of mental life on the Mortal Plane and 
as the body of the mind on the next plane, and 
hence as the medium of communication between 
the two spheres: This is the first lesson to be 
learned concerning Psychic Law." 

I had interrupted this dictation by a hundred 
questions which practically the lecture answers. At 
its close, my husband said, "You are to take two 
more lectures immediately, for record. They will 
be transmitted very rapidly on what may be called 
the high tide of the etheric sea. The title of the 
second lecture is 'Recognition.' " 



LECTURE II 



RECOGNITION 



46TQ ECOGNITION depends on continuous 
J.V identity. In its normal state the mind is 
robed in ether. Its fleshly encasement is abnormal 
to mind, and also the being that the self knows as 
self even while residing in the fleshly body. There- 
fore, death, which to the flesh body and to the earth- 
bound spirit is revolting and repugnant, is to the 
mind, as also to the Self, disrobed of flesh, only a 
pleasant transition. Even in its mortal encasement, 
the mind always knows itself to be different from 
the carnal instrument which it uses in the accom- 
plishment of its earthly purposes. So soon as the 
mind discovers that the etheric realm to which it 
has gone is one in substance with that element with-* 
in the earth's atmosphere on which it subsisted 
when in the body, and which is its own element, it 
knows that it can move out of the etheric realm and 
descend to its former home by virtue of this unity 
of elemental character. 

"The next desire of the mind, of the entity, of 
the ego, is to be recognized when it returns. 

"One of the most painful experiences of the 
human soul is to seek out its own, either only to 
find that they were not its own, that the relation 

301! 



302 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

was but temporary and easily dispensed with, or to 
find its own oblivions to its persistent presence and 
inaccessible to its solicitations. 

"Earth is sometimes densely covered with visit- 
ing spirits, who can not gain admission to their 
former homes, who find indeed the heart of the 
very nearest one locked and bolted against their 
possible intrusion. 

"The etheric path makes return possible, What 
shall secure recognition? 

"If the returned spirits find that friends have 
grown inconstant, the particular circumstances will 
dictate their course. If really faithless because of 
inherent shallowness of feeling, then, if the returned 
spirit is also shallow, a sense of pique or disgust, 
such as under similar circumstances he would in his 
own mortal state have felt, is all. He returns to 
the Etheric Plane rather relieved than otherwise to 
feel quite free to forget the past, and 'to seek fresh 
fields and pastures new.' If, however, he discerns 
that the apparent infidelity is produced by an hon- 
est skepticism of his own continued existence, con-* 
tinued identity and consequent continuing affection, 
he is filled with pity for the pain born of ignorance 
and sets about trying to remove the pain by im- 
parting new knowledge. 

"During the last decade hundreds of books, which 
the writers very honestly consider original, have 
been written by men and women on suggestions 



APPENDIX 303 

from returned spirit who desire to increase the 
knowledge of the world about the nature, the en- 
vironment, the capacities and the habits of its 
tenant after the death of its mortal body. The sum 
total of influence exerted by such books has been 
very great and has affected the attitude of the com- 
mon mind through three classes of people. 

"(a) Scientists have begun to seek by scientific 
investigation a knowledge of spirit. 

"(b) Religious people of divers creeds are re- 
minding one another that angel visitations, com- 
munciations made by the dead to the living through 
dreams and visions, are assumed and related in all 
sacred books and constitute a part of the evangelis- 
tic record of the Apostles. 

"(c) The human heart has profited as much by 
civilization and progress as has any other part of 
the human being ; and the human heart, grown more 
tender, refined and sensitive, is more susceptible to 
the presence of spirit than it has been in any pre- 
ceding age. 

"The first condition of personal, individual 
recognition is of course the acknowledgment in 
one or another way of a spirit's presence. 

"This acknowledgment being received, the next 
thing is to arrest the attention of the friend still in 
mortal encasement long enough to make him realise 
his (i. e., the returned spirit's) presence. 

"This is the crucial point and the difficulty lies 



^04 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

in the different rates of speed with which thought 
is generated by the incarnate and the excarnate 
entity. 

"Fifty million miles per second is the rate at 
which disembodied thought travels, while thought 
embodied travels with any definite perception of 
what lies along its route at less than one-twentieth 
of this speed. Now, recognition between two peo- 
ple always depends on their being at the same place 
at the same time, and it consists in each one's being 
conscious that the other one is there. 

"As it is almost invariably the excarnate spirit 
that is first familiar with the fact of the spirit's 
ability to return to earth, it is the excarnate, too, 
that must solve the problems of recognition. Prac- 
tically this means that the excarnate spirit must 
retard his natural pace until 1 it is reduced to one- 
twentieth of his normal speed; a feat just as 
difficult as it would be on the Earth Plane to devise 
a means of raising any given rate of speed to its 
twentieth power. Thus far this problem has been 
solved in but two ways. 

"One is in traveling over many times the distance 
to be traversed so that the excarnate soul, granted 
that it start at the same moment with the incarnate, 
may meet at the definite point fixed on by the for- 
mer. 

"Here you must recall that the returning spirit 
has been endeavoring for a long time to obtain 
recognition. He first attempts to command it by 



APPENDIX 303 

referring to trivial personal incidents, because these 
are the most likely to arrest the interest of the friend 
whom he is trying to awaken to his presence. Often 
the result is exactly the opposite of what he had 
anticipated. As what he says is personal, it is 
probably trivial and is therefore repudiated with an 
assertion like 'one would not return from the grave 
to talk about old clothes or a fishing excursion.' 

"This repudiation of. the most natural method of 
establishing one's identity arises from the vague, 
but utterly unreasonable assumption that death has 
quite transformed its victims; that, having passed 
through that experience, one no longer retains 
knowledge of trifling mundane experiences. Some- 
times a soul filled with the sense of the freedom 
that results from dropping the body seeks to tell 
something of its present state and occupations. 
These are of necessity so harmonious with his tastes 
while on earth that again what he says is rejected 
for the same reason that reference to incidents in 
his earthly career were unconvincing. Many people 
insist on supposing that death equalizes all souls; 
gives all similar tastes and similar conditions pro- 
viding they were, while here, God-fearing and 
humanity-serving souls. This is as untrue as any 
one with a little independent reflection would see it 
to be absurd. 

"Men's bodies are much more alike than their 
minds; so in reality death robs men of that organ 
through which their resemblance was most easily; 



3 o6 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

established. Souls, being so dissimilar, when they 
commence, after getting recognition, to tell of their 
present state, will give very diverse testimony, and 
this upsets many people. 

"However, gaining recognition, although difficult, 
is not impossible; and it is most easily done, by 
what, prior to experience, would seem the most dif- 
ficult of all methods, viz. : by quickening the con- 
sciousness of the friends remaining on earth. This 
process is very long and trying, involving great 
patience and painstaking, but in the end it is the 
most satisfactory. The returned spirit approaches 
his still incarnate friend, and, if possible, gets, so 
to speak, within the friend's atmosphere, and, once 
there, the visitor concentrates on the aura of his 
friend until the latter feels something unusual. The 
person approached does not understand or at first 
can not explain his sensations; he only perceives 
that he feels peculiar, and by and by he finds his 
thoughts dwelling on his departed friend. The re- 
turned friend is instantly conscious when he be- 
comes the subject of reflection and he lingers near 
and appeals by a thousand cunning devices to his 
friend until the latter will say he is conscious of 
the visitor's presence. Usually this recognition is 
only grudgingly acknowledged, if at all. For ex- 
ample, you will hear one say, Tf I did not know it 
to be impossible, I should think my brother was 
here last night.' 

"The assumption that return is impossible of 



APPENDIX 507 

course retards recognition after the return has been 
accomplished. 

"A curious fact is that consciousness is hardly- 
realized by one who is really awakened. This is due 
to the fact that spirit, being as independent of time 
as of space, moves so quickly that what, measured 
by time, would take an hour, perhaps two hours, to 
occur, has happened really in an instant. 

"The spirit still embodied can not catch more 
than one million vibrations a minute, while the dis- 
embodied spirit will execute or create fifty million 
vibrations a second. Hence the difference between 
the production of the one and the appreciation of 
the other is so great that a recognition actually ex- 
perienced is often doubted the moment after one 
has been clearly conscious of it. The consciousness, 
in itself perfect, was for so brief a period that when 
past it is easier for the average mind to doubt and 
to deny than it is for it to credit, retain and ex- 
amine. 

"Perhaps this is not clear; but it may be illus- 
trated by the experiences of travel. 

"When on a train which is going at the rate of 
sixty miles per hour a hundred objects are prac- 
tically unseen, which would be individually per- 
ceived if on a train moving at twenty miles per 
hour. We know they are seen, i. e., that they 
passed or were passed before the eyes, but they 
were not grasped by the mind, i. e. } by the real ob- 
server, because the mind so long as it is encased in 



$o8 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

flesh can not keep up with the express train. The 
mind is, however, really much fleeter than any train, 
and to the degree that it can concentrate, it is prac- 
tically disembodied and will therefore apprehend 
or become conscious of the presence of a spirit be- 
cause, in concentration, it is freed to a degree from 
the thraldom of physical matter. 

"There is no magic in darkness; none in silence 
and none in solitude — except that under these con- 
ditions, i. e., alone, quiet and in the dark, it is easier 
to concentrate. 

"A spirit can walk in the light, but, clad in ether, 
which has many qualities of light, it can not be seen 
in the light. A spirit can speak in any noise, but 
noise, i. e., loud or discordant sound, breaks the 
etheric current so that its voice can not be dis- 
tinguished. A spirit can walk by a friend's side in 
a crowd; but the crowd so emphasizes itself upon 
the attention of one who is yet seeing through the 
bodily eye that the spirit can neither be seen nor felt. 
Now, you will understand why one, in studying 
this subject and investigating its phenomena, must 
work alone, in subdued light and in silence. 

"There is nothing uncanny, nothing in any sense 
unnatural about this any more than there is in the 
laws that govern investigation in any other field. 

"Even in the physical world, when we are all on 
the same plane, we take pains to arrange the con- 
ditions so that we can receive our friends in the 



APPENDIX 309, 

way that will enable us to get and to give the most 
satisfaction during their visits. 

"One friend likes to go with us to market; an- 
other likes best to meet her friends when she and 
they are in elegant costumes, all aiding the radiance 
of a brilliant party; another likes to meet his friends 
in a game; another to read aloud or to be read to; 
still others like best to come into some retreat — a 
library, a study, a studio, a sewing-room, a den, 
where in the conditions best suited to each, each will 
disclose her own nature and study that of her host 
or hostess. 

"Excarnates, if refined, Conservative and retiring, 
like to see their friends in solitude, silence and twi- 
light; but there are excarnate humans that visit 
their friends only at seances, public camps or places 
where crowds congregate, or in smaller but still 
miscellaneous assemblies. 

"The laws that govern individuality are much 
better obeyed on the Etheric than on the Physical 
Plane, and here the law that 'like attracts like' holds 
good." 



LECTURE III 

COMMUNICATION BY VIBRATION 

4 4 / TpHE third lecture is entitled : The Vibratory 
JL System of Communication Between the 
Two Planes, viz. : Earth and Ether/ but as this is 
too long a title, I shall abbreviate it thus : 

COMMUNICATION BY VIBRATION 

"Now, take a new book, write the title anc hold 
yourself quite passive while I dictate an explana- 
tion of this marvelous system, which may be com- 
pared to the nervous system of the human body, 
since as the nerves connect every portion w A il«, 
body, both to its great centers and to its tenant, 
so the vibratory system connects all parts of the 
Solar System, of which it is a part, with one an- 
other and with their common center, which may 
be called the Cosmic tenant. 

"This lecture you will find newer to your 
thoughts, more surprising and interesting than the 
others. Please be quick. Why do I hurry you so? 
Because we tenants of ether ic bodies can not wait 
near you very well, as we have nothing to hold us 
down, and, besides, Rubinstein and Pere Conde are 
almost as anxious to get acquainted with you as 
you are with them, and it has been decided that 
neither may speak a word to you until your ability 
to receive has been tested by one more lecture." 

310 



APPENDIX gil 

Beginning of Lecture Proper 

''Communication between spheres is made pos- 
sible by the fact that ether, which is common to 
both the ante- and the post-mortem planes, and which 
is believed to be common to all spheres within the 
Solar System, has the quality which enables it to 
receive and transmit vibrations of all kinds, no mat- 
ter on what plane or in what source they originate. 

"Vibrations depend on threads of connection. 
These threads are furnished by means of memory 
on the one side and of hope on the other, so long 
as memory and hope continue to affect both the 
spirits who have departed from earth and those 
that remain on it. By these sentiments souls that 
are physically separated by death are brought to- 
gether. 

"Memory and hope, and all other sentiments, 
passions and emotions have each a material cover- 
ing so very delicate that it is invisible and intangible 
to those still embodied in flesh. One of the first 
pleasant discoveries made by the departed human 
(who may be called soul, spirit, mind, ego, as you 
will) is that, although the flesh body was left on 
earth, he is not without a body, i. e., a covering for 
all his faculties and functions — i. e., for himself. 
One of the qualities of this covering of the senti- 
ments is that, when active, it is projected in the 
direction of the object of its desire. 

"People who are reciprocally sympathetic, con- 
genial as we say, are bound together by the senti- 



gi2 ^EITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

ments we have mentioned. Those who love think 
of each other after death has separated them 
physically. Their thoughts, clothed in a substance 
as real as granite, but so delicate that a cobweb is 
gross by comparison, send this substance out like 
feelers. Such sentiments on the part of each act as 
magnets to the corresponding sentiments of the 
other; and being projected in the ether (which is 
the only atmosphere of the post-mortem state and 
also the intercellular matter and the envelope of 
the earth's atmosphere), and being reciprocally at- 
tractive, they find each other. A junction of this 
fine matter which constitutes the clothing of the 
affections and sentiments follows; and when this 
junction is effected the soul in the post-mortem 
sphere will know that such junction has taken place, 
and the joy which in consequence of this conscious- 
ness will agitate his whole being, will cause a vibra- 
tion of this thread of connection which often results 
in a semi-consciousness and sometimes in entire con- 
sciousness on the part of the spirit still flesh em- 
bodied. Then the still flesh embodied person will 

often say, T feel as if were here.' T am 

conscious of his presence/ and he will sometimes 
add, 'I really could almost believe I felt his touch.' 

"Who that has lost any dearly beloved friend has 
not had this experience? 

"The mother feels as if the lost child were really 
once more pillowed on her bosom. The wife feels 
almost certain that her husband is present, trying 



APPENDIX 313 

to advise, aid and protect Her. The simple fact is 
that the nominally dead and supposedly absent 
friend really is present. 

"Sometimes, probably often, perhaps usually, 
when people die they do depart from their accus- 
tomed places ; but when they do so, it is not death 
that compels or causes their departure. -Death 
makes the occasion for them to depart if there is 
no permanent tie between them and those from 
whom death physically separates them. 

"In cases where the death of the flesh body has 
not been seized upon as an opportunity to escape 
from uncongenial relationship, the soul, finding that 
it can reach its mourning loved ones by these thread- 
like garments of its emotions, which possess the 
fcurious qualities of expansion and contraction and 
of extension and withdrawal, works arduously, 
through these qualities, to awaken consciousness in 
those whom his death has bereaved. 

"Love is the most vital, i. e., the most powerful 
of all the emotions, but it is not the only one that 
seeks to reach those still left on earth. Revenge, 
envy, hatred and all the evil passions have also this 
attenuated garment of finer matter, and souls that 
feel these passions are goaded by them into activity. 
They all seek their victims with the same result of 
effecting a juncture through the emotion, whatever 
it may be, that binds two souls together. 

"Each of these fine threads of connection may be 
charged with the whole force of the soul experienc- 



3i4 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

ing it; Hence the strength and consequent length of 
any vibration will be determined by the strength of 
the soul producing it. 

"These vibrations are sometimes so delicate that 
their only expression, i. e., their only communicated 
appreciable influence, is a slightly reduced tempera- 
ture that may be likened to the passing of the light- 
est of cool soft breezes over the face or hands. 
'Again the breeze expressing the presence may be 
so strong, definite and pronounced that it would not 
be unlike an electric shock. 

"The vibratory theory of the emotional connec- 
tion of the two planes of being, here expounded, is 
comparable with and related to the vibratory theory 
of light, heat, motion and other qualities which 
either belong to physical matter or are expressed 
through it. 

"Ether, almost infinitely more delicate than the 
earth's atmosphere, is of course proportionally 
more sensitive and more fluid. 

"As a word uttered, even in a whisper, causes 
the atmosphere to vibrate and through this vibra- 
tion carries the word to the ear, so a thought affects 
ether, causes a vibration in the etheric realm and 
is conveyed to the ear of the listener by a series of 
etheric waves which are set in motion by this vibra- 
tion. 

"There are many degrees of acuteness in the 
senses of hearing and seeing on the earth, or what 
we may here for convenience call the Atmospheric 



APPENDIX 315 

Plane, and whatever degree of acuteness one may 
seem naturally to possess may be cultivated or 
diminished according to its use. 

"We know that much of nominal deafness is in- 
attention arising from indifference; and we also 
know that a veritable impairment of the hearing 
may be retarded, reduced and almost defied by an 
alert attention and by that determined will to hear as 
much as possible which results in the habitual listen- 
ing attitude. 

"If the bereaved person who suddenly feels as 
if the departed loved one were present, instead of 
denying the possibility of such a manifestation, 
would assume the listening attitude, the receptive 
condition, whatever degree of sensitiveness to 
etheric conditions he may possess, would be aug- 
mented, and, moreover, such thoughts, desires, an- 
ticipations would continue the vibrations originating 
in the etheric realm ; cause new vibrations respond- 
ing to the former like an echo; and consequently 
would create gradually through the use of these 
vibrations a pathway for the planned, intentional 
interchange of thoughts, feelings, etc., between the 
Etheric and the Atmospheric Planes. 

"This is so simple that it will be rejected by 'the 
wise in their own conceit/ but the really simple- 
minded wise will consider and test ; they will apply 
the scientific method, for this is a matter entirely 
within the realm of science, not affecting religion 
at all, except as all increased knowledge of the mys- 



3'i6 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

teries of the universe and all new perception of the 
significance of the phrase that 'man is fearfully and 
wonderfully made' may naturally increase reverence 
and awe for the Power thus revealed through 
works, which man knows are not his works. 

"This is not a question of faith in any other 
sense than planting a seed, manning a ship, firing 
an engine, etc., etc., is a question of faith. As 
has often been remarked, faith is the basis of all 
human relations and is at the bottom of all human 
operations. Thus faith in the universal operation 
of law- faith, that the same causes, under like con- 
ditions, will be followed by the same effects, which 
indeed may be called scientific faith — bases both in- 
ductive and deductive reasoning. 

"If one can imagine the very first farmer, one 
who had seen neither seed-time nor harvest, or 
rather one who, born at harvest, knew nothing of 
seed-time, X>ne will see that it would require as much 
faith to see the oak tree in the acorn, the loaf of 
bread in the grass-like blade of wheat as it requires 
to realize communication between the post-mortem 
and ante-mortem planes of life by one who has 
never experienced it. However, this illustration is 
used to justify the assertion that this is a matter to 
be investigated by the scientific method. 

"Science observes phenomena, discerns conditions 
and circumstances, classifies facts, draws inferences, 
and finally states a theory. The theory that bears 



APPENDIX '317 

the test of application finally comes to be regarded 
as a law. 

"This is what is demanded by the theory of the 
vibratory connection of the two worlds. Shall it 
be found to bear the test of experience, it will have 
no effect on Methodism, Presbyterianism or any 
other form of religious belief. Science can and will 
prove one of the fundamental principles of Chris- 
tianity, viz. : Immortality, which depends on the 
existence of soul, of mind (the intelligent tenant, 
under whatever name one pleases to indicate it) 
apart from matter as those still on earth know mat- 
ter — i. e., apart from the flesh tenement. 

"This method of communication has been known 
to great psychics of different lands for several cen- 
turies; but nowadays progress is tested by the dis- 
tribution of its benefits rather than by distinct ad- 
ditions to them; and the time is at hand when this 
communication between the ante- and the post- 
mortem states will be the privilege of all, and it will 
become as general as communication by the use of 
written and printed symbols now is. 

"You say that it will be quite impossible for any 
but that small section of the cultured who are given 
to reflection either to understand or to acquire the 
use of this method. 

"In reply, I will ask: How many people who 
use the telephone and the telegraph really under- 
stand the nature of electricity, the construction of 



3-iS NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

the machines employed or the principles involved in 
their use ? 

"This general ignorance of substance and of, 
modus operandi does not interfere with the use of 
those means of communication between people at 
different points of space on earth, nor will the gen- 
eral ignorance of psychology prevent people from 
receiving the benefits of this system of communica- 
tion between people in different state9 and condi- 
tions of being. 

"As there must be some who understand to some 
degree the nature of electricity, in order that they 
may manipulate telegraphic and telephonic instru- 
ments — so there must be some who to some degree 
understand the nature of ether and the qualities of 
etheric magnetism, in order that there may be in- 
telligent mediums for communicating between the 
two sections of human life — for one who has died 
is just as human as one who is to die; I may say 
he is just as mortal-^since neither is in himself 
mortal at all. 

"Magnetism is the essence or substance next to 
electricity, when one regards their relative degrees 
of subtlety — and beyond magnetism, above it iri 
subtlety, is thought. 

"Thought is ultimately as independent of mag- 
netism as electricity already is of wires. Now; 
etheric magnetism is the wire on which thought 
travels between flesh-encased and unfleshed souls. 
This proves that this, i. ^etheric magnetism, is not 



APPENDIX 319 

properly identified with animal magnetism. A 
prejudice against magnetism exists in the minds of 
many who associate its generation with unpleasant 
personalities. 

"That prejudice is akin to the feeling against the 
above-ground wires which in all large cities are so 
unsightly, inconvenient and even dangerous. The 
parallel may go further for the corpulent gross 
physiques which are regarded as the generators of 
physical magnetism are unsightly, disagreeable and 
inconvenient and their magnetic product is dan- 
gerous. 

"What is etheric magnetism? It is the principle 
of vitality in that finer atmosphere which not only 
surrounds the earth planet and its atmosphere, but 
surrounds every individual like an envelope, isolat- 
ing each in some degree from all the rest. We have 
the phrases, 'So and so has a pleasant atmosphere/ 
'an agreeable atmosphere/ 'an harmonious atmos- 
phere.' This is a literal statement of fact, just as 
real, just as provable as any other physical fact 
that can be stated about a person. Reduced to the 
scientific form, the assertion that you like or dislike 
a person means that you are affected agreeably or 
disagreeably by the magnetism that he generates, 
which is the expression of his personality. 

"The envelope of the individual which Is the ex- 
tension beyond the physical form, (i. e., beyond the 
flesh encasement of the soul) is the ether which 
interpenetrates all the tissue of the flesh body, Kav- 



320 NEITHER DEAD NOR SLEEPING 

ing the same form that the flesh has. This survives 
death, and is the body with which the mind, the 
entity, finds itself clothed after death. The element 
which is the life and power of ether is etheric mag- 
netism. 

"This element will be used "continually by Pere 
Conde, Rubinstein and myself as we minister to 
you, instruct and guide you. In all our work we 
shall be consciously demonstrating not only the 
vibratory theory which this lecture expounds, but 
also all of the principles of Psychic Law given in 
the first two lectures." 



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